Tag Archives: writing

Harnessing the Artist

3 Apr

I’m not positive that any of my readers know this, friend or otherwise, but this girl considers herself an artist. I tend to post raw, unedited stories and memories and persuasions, but only because I don’t feel the need to edit myself. Whether it is music, or clay, or paint, or words…the facets of art live within me.

As an artist, I find I suffer from the same tragedy that, say, comedians do. My best work is done when I’m at a low point in life. When I’m down, and out…anyone who has ever read a story I’ve written knows that I can’t do happy. Happy endings don’t exist in my writing, no matter how hard I try. I’ll write horror, and suicide, and abuse…and that could very well be due to the state I have to be in for the creative juices to flow. Believe it or not, I’m pretty handy with a pencil when I’m at that low point to…put on the music, get in the zone, and draw it all away.

The hardest part about being an artist is finding that inspiration to make art when you’re happy. I have so many ideas for short stories (I don’t think I could ever write a novel), that my head swims with the ideas. I just can’t put pencil to paper (or fingers to keys) when I’m happy, though. When I try…the quality is crap.

But I don’t want to trade in my happiness for a gift, no more than I want to trade in my gift for happiness.

Writers, painters, musicians…artists out there…have you found a way to harness that feeling of inspiration, even when you’re out of your mood?

I Need Your Help!

12 Aug

I feel like it’s time to revamp my blog. It’s been a good few years since I did such on Xanga, and when I created this one I stuck with the same basic theme.

My tagline, however, is from 2005. I was…15…

I’m having trouble deciding if I should keep my current format so that everything I do, everything I want to do, everything I think and say are kept in the same blog (like they are now), or if I should expand and begin dividing my attentions.

One blog, which shall remain nameless until I make my decision, would be my main stuff – life events, questions, thoughts, relationships, etc.

The other blog, which has yet to be named, would be a space for fashion, tutorials, sewing, DIY, food, pictures, and things of that nature.

So…help me out. Whatcha thinking?

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Fave Interwebs Friend

19 Jun

Dear Face Interwebs Friend,

Jeez, do we have an interesting friendship or what?

Lets see, its been 11 years since I met you and we text quite frequently, yet we’ve only talked on the phone…2, 3 times?…and we’ve never met.

I’ll be honest, after talking to you for 11 years the thought of actually meeting you is terrifying. Expectations are so big, that I don’t think even the strongest person in the world could hold them up.

I had hoped I could suggest a vacation here so we could meet, but apparently Colorado is a dumb place to vacation (really…who says that?).

Some days, like all friendships, I just want to push you down, but then other days I need you. You can be so supportive, and knowing that you appreciate hearing from me usually just makes my day, regardless of how the rest of the conversation goes.

I don’t have a whole lot to say now. I think you’ve heard it all. Whatever happens, I wish you the best, and I’m always just a text away. Hopefully you find the woman of your dreams that I know you’ve been searching long and hard for, and I hope you come to a peaceful place within yourself so that you can succeed at whatever it is you set your heart to.

Take care.

Always, Me

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Ex-Boyfriend

18 Jun

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

I haven’t talked to you in a very, very long time.

Our breakup wasn’t as smooth as it could have been, and it’s really unfortunate because, while you technically broke up with me, it was a mutual breakup.

We never talked about this part of it all, but…here we go.

First of all, how dare you break up with me via text message. I can recall the moment you demanded that if I ever broke up with you that I had to do it in person as if it happened just today. I also remember so vividly that I told you I was a decent person, and simply out of respect I would do it in person, but that I didn’t have to do anything you told me.

And then, you break up with me with a text and tell me I’m being difficult when I call you on it? So much for that year and a half we had.

But it’s okay. It was a relief to be done. Mutual, remember?

It didn’t stop there, though. You had to try to argue with me all summer after that. You had to spread rumors. You had to try to hurt me. Well, it’s fine; things like that don’t phase me.

Oh, and by the way…I never dated that black guy, I didn’t drink that summer or really any other summer and I still don’t really drink, I never went party-crazy, and all the friends you say you hated when we were together? Yeah. They still hate you.

I do look back on some of the memories I have with you fondly, though. Our relationship wasn’t bad by any means, and while there are some things I wish I could yell at you about, I won’t because it doesn’t matter any more. So, while I will continue on with my life, know that even though things ended horribly, it was all for a reason.

Everything happens for a reason. Even us. Even our break up. Remember when I would always tell you that? That’s because its true.

Always, Me

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Bestie

12 Jun

To introduce what I’m doing before I just jump in…there are various “30 Day Challenges” running amuck around the interwebs. One of them, as introduced to me by a subscriber/friend/blogger I follow, is a letter challenge. Basically, you just post a letter each day to the person dictated by the challenge list. So, here we go. I hope you enjoy reading. I think this might be as raw as my writing gets, so it might not make much sense, but I suppose that’s how my brain flows.

 

Dear Bestie,

We haven’t always been best friends, and I’m not sure if you even consider me your best friend, but at this point in my life you are definitely my best friend.

I’ve actually been afraid to label it that for a long time, but I don’t know why. Seems silly.

You are there for me through thick and thin, and you’ve always been so supportive of me. I can only hope that I have been supportive of you, and that I’ve been able to match your niceness and generosity.

No one else has made such attempts to stay in contact with me. I so wish you would move to Fort Collins; you would love it here.

Remember all the nights we would “break in” to old houses trying to scare ourselves? Or the nights we would drive up and down 6th street for hours, some times dancing like fools?

What about the time we didn’t talk to each other for 2 weeks? I’m so glad that we pulled through that, because it is not something I would have wanted to look back on and regretted. It was really stupid of us.

But we made it. I look forward in the future and see you living only an hour away, so that we can hang out whenever we want. I see friend dates and cooking parties and card nights. Definitely card nights.

Hopefully, I’ll see you soon. I miss you so much!!

Always, Me

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Mom and Dad

12 Jun

Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you.

You’ve been such a source of strength throughout my entire life. You are the balance – the yin and the yang – that we all need in our lives.

And I’m lucky enough to have it.

I wish every day that you would move up here. It almost breaks my heart being so far away from you both, and while its good for me, sometimes I think that I do too many things that are good for me.

You’ve taught me well, though. I don’t know if it’s the stubborness I’ve received from you both, or the good values you’ve given me, but regardless it’s because of you that I’ve never done drugs. I’ve never made poor life decisions. I’ve never been drunk.

Some would say that I’m missing out, but I would say that there is nothing in those things that I’m not happy to be missing out on.

There is one thing that I think you’ve taught me more than anything. Independence. Sometimes you call it lack of respect, but you have always allowed me to speak my mind and have adult conversations with you, and it means the world to me that you’ve done that. I respect you both so much, and I hope that you can see that if we ever argue – it’s not out of anger, or spite, but out of a respect to be able to appreciate you for all of the things you are – mother, father, human.

If there is one thing I hope I’ve given you, it’s pride in me. I strive each and every day to make you proud. That’s my girl! is something I want you to always be able to say.

I love you.

I miss you.

Always, Me

The Plight of a Blogger

27 May

Random person (female): I saw that blog you posted about me! I’m so offended!

Me: What blog?

Random person: The blog where you said this and this and this.

Me: That wasn’t about you; I haven’t written a blog about you.

Random person: Just tell me to my face! I can’t believe you wrote that about me!

Me: I was unaware you had a penis. I explicitly said he.

Random person: Well, I’m sure that was so I wouldn’t think it was about me. You didn’t think I would find out? I’m not THAT stupid!

Me: Well, obviously you are, because it wasn’t about you. But if you wanna think that, go right on ahead! Maybe you should suck that dick of yours while you’re at it.

 

This is a completely fictional conversation. Random person (female) is not an alias for anyone I know now, have known in the past, or will know if the future. Me is also nonexistent. Unless of course you remember having this conversation with Me, or find that your name is in fact “Random person (female)”. Any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental.