Tag Archives: trauma

Choose Your Own Adventure: Gun Regulation

26 Sep

This post is inspired by this video:

http://www.upworthy.com/he-cried-and-begged-his-father-dont-do-it-daddy-dont-shoot-mommy-my-son-said-that?c=ufb1

Now I’ll admit fully that I didn’t watch the video. I would have, but I live in the boonies and my internet causes me to be unable to watch videos in a normal amount of time.

The title in itself, however, causes me to think a little more about gun control.

He cried and begged his father. Don’t do it Daddy. Don’t shoot Mommy!

This being followed by the description of the post on Facebook: “Some people told her she should have had a gun. Those people have never lived through this.”

From this alone, we say “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” Fair enough, I suppose.

So Dad comes home, what I assume to be an argument or disturbance occurs in front of little Johnny, and Dad pulls out a gun. His intention is to shoot Mom.

This choose your own adventure has two options:

1) Mom doesn’t have a gun and goes into the bedroom to shield her son from Dad.
2) Mom does have a gun, and pulls it on Dad.

Number 1 is actually what happened, and Dad proceeded to shoot through the door. That’s traumatizing for anyone involved. I know that I would be horrified whether I was the target or being the one shielded. It’s ESPECIALLY traumatizing for a child.

To prevent this ending to this adventure, we instead choose option 2. Instead of shielding little Johnny in a room and being shot at, Mom instead whips out her own gun. We will ignore the fact that Mom would more than likely not have the gun on her currently. So…Mom pulls out the gun and aims it at Dad. In any grace of the universe, Dad realizes the rashness of his actions and lowers his gun, defeated. Little Johnny may have been spared, but more than likely will still be traumatized at least slightly because Mommy just pulled a gun on Daddy. Was Daddy going to shoot Mommy? Was Mommy going to shoot Daddy? Or, because the universe is often harsh, Dad doesn’t drop the gun. Dad aims gun (or shoots). So Mom shoots. Now little Johnny sees his parents both shoot at each other. That is even more traumatizing. Now, the two people in his world who are supposed to love him and love each other and care for each other have made what appear to be attempts on each others lives. And who knows what the aftermath could look like. If both people are wounded, now they are just laying there bleeding, while little Johnny looks on. Or if one parent was unscathed and the other wounded, that parent grabs little Johnny and runs. But little Johnny is being ripped away from one parent by the parent that shot the other one.

Traumatic.

There is a third and fourth option. Dad doesn’t have a gun and neither does Mom. Or Dad doesn’t lose his shit. But neither of those is something we can control.

But “Gun control!” you say. “More mental health screening!” you say.

Unfortunately, Dad might not have a history of mental health issues or a criminal record. He may not have gotten his gun legally.

Here’s the thing: I’m okay with guns. I enjoy shooting. I think that we should do more screenings and background checks and regulate a little more who can own a gun. If Dad gets cleared to have a gun because he has no criminal record and no history of mental health issues, so be it. But if Dad has a history of mental health issues and is off his rocker, while having a criminal background also…no, he should not get a gun.

I think the biggest thing to control gun violence is to teach others about gun safety, and both the risks you assume in addition to the benefits owning a gun may provide. Teaching each other about mental health and the risks posed if someone appears to become depressed, or showing other tendencies while a gun is in the home.

Because Mommy having a gun doesn’t traumatize little Johnny any less. Mommy having a gun isn’t a solution. It’s just kind of like a band-aid to cover up a bigger issue that maybe Dad shouldn’t have had a gun.

What option do you choose for this Choose Your Own Adventure? 

The Roommate Chronicles: Dealing with Death

19 Aug

I’m not sure even where to start.

I guess I can start at the beginning.

At the beginning of this month, I got a new roommate. I saw him every day for a little over a week, and then my life started to get even busier than it already is. Parties, friends, work, friends, stuff…you know how it goes.

Then, as it started to kind of slow down a tiny bit, I noticed something was wrong. I hadn’t seen him recently.

The feeling came as a smell first. Then it came as flies. Then, I panicked.

But I have great friends, and being who I am, sometimes I just need someone to talk me down and make me actually accept the logical reasons I’ve pushed to the back of my mind as actuality, and that’s just what they did.

But then, it was all validated. On Friday night, at just about midnight, the police came to my house, and discovered that my new roommate was dead in his room.

He’d been there for 5 days.

It’s kind of surreal to get that news, no matter how sure you are that’s what is wrong. Going into this situation that night, two of my friends made attempts to find him themselves, and I’m so glad they didn’t. I would feel terrible if they had been traumatized like that because of me.

I’m so thankful that door was locked.

When I started this series, I never imaged that I would be writing about this. And I almost don’t know what else to say.

Death isn’t something I’ve ever really had to cope with, and while this situation is a little different – I didn’t know him – I still need to deal with the situation.

One second, I’m over it and I just want to go home and continue with my normal routine. The next second, I’m clinging to the friends I was with that night, wishing that they never had to leave my side.

I’m currently staying at one of their houses, because my house is kind of uninhabitable at the moment, but as the week wears on I’m not sure what the next step is.

They keep telling me I need to move, but I don’t really feel that’s necessary. And I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back to my house, but the one I’m staying at kind of has an expiration date that’s coming quickly, and the other friend I can stay with will be out of town when that happens. I’m in weird limbo, and I don’t like it.

Maybe I’ll have more to say later. Maybe this is all there is.