Tag Archives: time

Inspiring People

9 Dec

What is a relationship but two people exchanging ideas, beliefs, values…each other?

Nothing.

I find that a relationship isn’t worth having unless you are exchanging these things with the other person. If you aren’t growing, and you aren’t learning, then what’s the value? This is something that I feel in the core of my being, and something I refuse to lose sight of.  When I am in a relationship, I will undoubtedly incorporate something about them into myself. Sometimes it is something I’m consciously aware of, and sometimes it isn’t.

So with that, it seems that I have surrounded myself with many truly inspiring people.

Jessica inspires me to get in touch with my creative side. To go out of the boundaries that I’m used to. To get in touch with the organic side of life.
Allison just so happened to inspire a snort that I can’t seem to shake.
Meghan inspires in me the wholesomeness of being down to earth.
Melissa inspires me to get back to my roots, and keep in touch with the parts of life that I tend to forget.
Michelle inspires me to take that part of me that I try to keep in check so well, and let it run wild.
Andrew inspires adventure that I sometimes need teased out of me.
Amber reminds me to chase my dreams, and that I’ll reach them.
Nathan inspires friendship, no how much distance, time, or trouble separates it.

You all inspire me to write. To create. To love. To be adventurous. Spontaneous. To seek knowledge.

Every single friend I have I’ve shared something with. A moment or a look. An idea or value. And at the end of the day, it isn’t what I’m inspired to do or be, but who inspired me and how that has shaped me.

Inspiration. It’s the breath of life.

Who inspires you? 

Quote 3 Nov

It’s like I’m stuck in some weird, miserable time loop.

Death of a Roommate: One Year Later

16 Aug

It has officially been a whole year since the discovery of my roommate, dead upstairs, having been laying there for over a week.

Technically it’s not a full year until about 11:30, but still.

This year has probably been the worst year of my life, having had to deal with being homeless for so long, going into and out of relationships, losing friend and having other move away, and having my parents in poor health. Moving has been hard, as adjusting to a new job has been. But I’m optimistic.

I’m looking today to be the end of awful, and the beginning of getting my life back in order.

The death of my roommate has effected me much more than I ever could have imagined, but it has been so subtle it’s deceptive.

At the beginning of this week (the anniversary of him actually killing himself), I made a sudden realization that caused my sleep to be poor for the following days. Saying that I lived with a dead body for a week doesn’t even begin to cover the horror of it. Saying that I lived with a decaying corpse does. Where there are flies, there are maggots, and that is a visual that I am glad only exists vaguely in my mind.

To think the gruesome occurrences that unfolded upstairs went completely unnoticed makes me shudder, and to think that perhaps had I been more available, it might not have happened at all. (But no, I don’t blame myself. To be perfectly honest, I feel quite bitter toward my former roommate, who had only lived with us for about a week.)

Going into this new year, I believe that I’ve reached a point at which I can move forward comfortable, and settle back into the things that were once normal. I know that at least some of you have noticed I haven’t been writing almost at all. I haven’t been sewing. It’s as though I’ve been suspended in time for this year, and now I’m finally able to move forward again.

Tonight, I was supposed to retrace the steps I took that fateful evening, to hopefully accomplish something of a sort of rewriting that memory so that this day no longer holds the connotation it holds now. I was going to go to the same restaurant and bar we went to, with the friends who accompanied me through that night’s events. It was really important to me, and much to my dismay, they couldn’t join me.

I was going to go anyway, because even though they didn’t feel it important that they were there, it was important for me to go. As much as I wanted to hope, I’m not on their list of priorities. Due to circumstances outside of my control, however, I’ve been stranded here, so I am unable to retrace my steps.

It’s okay. Mostly because there is currently no one dead in my house right now.

And here is to tomorrow, that while trying, will be a new year with new adventures.

 

May my former roommate rest in peace.

The Petty Things in Life

11 Sep


 

Petty; (pet-ty) adjective

1. Of little importance; trivial.
2. Behavior characterized by an undue concern for trivial matters, especially in a small-minded or spiteful way.

 

Each and every one of us have something in our life that seems very important to us, but is actually petty to everyone else. We usually term it an OCD or just something we are ‘really anal about’, but that doesn’t change the pettiness of it. One such example of this comes from my job. We clean dirty pet carriers at the end of each day, and set them gate-down to dry. When I set them to dry, I must organize them by size, and preferably by style, or in a pattern. It really bothers me when other people don’t organize them that way, but I admit that it is a petty thing, so I don’t say anything.

My biggest reason for not saying anything, is because I know others will think they are petty, and there is no real reason they should care. Personally, I have a really big problem when people expect me to care about petty things (that are important to them). I don’t care. Sure, you can get me to care (maybe) but you have to sell your point like you are losing money and you are losing money fast. You need to make me understand why its important to you, and then I might care.

What are some things that are important to you, but petty to others? Will you perform a task, even if you think its petty and find no meaning in it?

Reliving Embarrassing Moments

11 Sep

 

Some days, like today, I’ll be walking around, minding my own business. Then, out of no where a memory of something stupid I’ve done previously will pop into my head, and all the feeling of the moment will come rushing back.

Today, it was one that is quite frequent in my mind. I often get crushes on my TA’s, and even a class as terrible as Organic Chemistry lab isn’t an exception. It was more like a pseudocrush due to his position than a real crush. For the entire semester, I couldn’t help but think he looked like Michael Sheen from Dirty, Filthy Love. When the last day of lab came, I decided to tell him, and his ‘and why do I care’ reaction caused me to over-elaborate on who the character was (since he hadn’t seen the film). I proceeded to tell him about the sex scene that the character and his ex-wife have, and how he barks when he orgasms. I’m pretty sure I even showed him the clip from that scene.

Um. Awkward.

So, yeah. I relived that today. And various other times since then (and that was 3 and 1/2 years ago).

What embarrassing moments do you relive often enough to wish you didn’t?