Tag Archives: social

The Real Reason for New Year’s Resolutions

13 Dec

Here it is: my annual New Year’s post.

If you’ve known me for at least a year, you know that under no circumstances do I make “New Year’s Resolutions”. Why? Because, well, why wait until then to do what you can do now?

I do think there is a reason for these resolutions, though, that actually has nothing to do with the beginning of a new year. Think about it…no one sits around in July and is like you know what…I want to get skinny…I’ll start that January 1.

No. People don’t do that. People either say hey…I’m going to start a gym membership and actually DO it, or say hey…I should start working out and DON’T.

This time of year, however, is madness. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas…boom, boom, BOOM. One right after the other, and it barely gives a person time to breathe, let alone think about anything other than parties, food, and gifts.

This, my friends, is the real reason for New Year’s Resolutions. Not to start the year out right, but because January 1 marks the end of the holiday season. You know what my “New Year’s Resolution” is this year? To make an effort to become decent friends with every one of my Facebook friends.

And do you know why I’m waiting until the New Year to start this endeavor? Because I doubled up Christmas parties on Wednesday, have to go Christmas shopping on Saturday, go home the following Wednesday. Christmas is on Thursday. I come back on Saturday. Work is on Sunday.

And then its January 1st. Trying to squeeze in acquaintances and strangers into the mix is pretty impossible when I’m barely able to squeeze in friends and family.

The question is not of if I will succeed and accomplish this task, or if by not keeping it I keep to the stereotypical no-one-ever-keeps-their-resolutions but that it has absolutely nothing to do with beginning a new year on the right foot.

Any resolutions you’ll be starting up after the holiday season? 

Social Exhaustion

15 Oct

As an introvert, being in social situations can be exhausting. It isn’t that I dislike the social situations, however, and therein lies the problem.

Currently, I’m at a state where I’m forcing myself to see people. I would love to just hide away and do my own thing for at least a few days, and while I try and try…I know in my heart that I really should hang out with friends.

Hm…but should I? At what point am I not being true to myself and keeping myself healthy and sane? And maybe that feeling that I should want to hang out with people is just extrovert propaganda and proof that we live in a society that doesn’t understand the introvert.

Point being: I’m exhausted. Mentally, physically exhausted. And so far, my evenings are booked all the way into the weekend.

How do you deal with social exhaustion? Do you force yourself to hang out with people, even if you really just want to enjoy alone time? Why? Why not?

Sexism and Equal Rights for Men

21 Aug


When people fantasize about equal rights, the conversation is usually surrounded by talk of feminism and all the things women don’t get but should. I don’t disagree that women should be paid the same amount as men. The right to vote and to work and wear pants are all great things, also, but I’d like to talk about something else. I’d like to talk about masculism.

I’m new to the words that surround this topic, but from my limited understand I’ve gathered that masculism is the belief that equality of the sexes requires work to be done to stop prejudice and discrimination toward both sexes. The view that men should be held higher than women, or anti-feminist views, are termed as masculinism.

I think this concept is something that needs to be addressed, not in the sense of any anti-feminist beliefs, but that the only way equal rights for the sexes can be achieved is by the collaborative effort between masculism and feminism. Women aren’t the only one who historically have stereotypical rolls. Men are held as the breadwinners and the dominant sex and more often than not I hear stay-at-home men being called free-loaders.

How can women be so easily allowed to stay at home with or without children, while men must work?

Men also don’t have the luxury of being able to wear women’s clothing without being questioned. Men must have masculine interests. They shouldn’t show their feelings. They should pay for the date. They should buy you drinks. I don’t understand why this is all static, but women have a whole movement for them to have more sex, be able to have whatever jobs they want, but can still stay at home while their husbands work.

If there is one thing I’d like you to think about after you read this, its that if you can’t support the thought that men need equal rights, then the sexes aren’t equal in nature. Men are naturally prone to fall into certain roles, as are women. Our brains and bodies are not the same.

How do you feel about “masculism”? 

Dating Someone With Children

8 Aug


Considering that I never want children, I don’t think I could ever date someone who already has them. Sure, I wouldn’t have to go through all the pregnancy and pushing, but kids are a lot of work and I would not look forward to raising their children for the next x amount of years.

Would you date someone who had kids? Would it be dependent on how old you/they are? What about if they were currently pregnant?

Being the Black Sheep

1 Aug


Growing older has caused me to understand and accept many things about myself. One of those things is that I’m very obviously the black sheep in most situations and many of my relationships.

Even my immediate family, with whom I’m very close, make me feel like the black sheep. I’m not entirely sure why this is my role in my relationships, but it is. It might be that my interests are very different from most of the people I meet, or it might be that I’m so picky with the people I’m close to that I do it to myself. Being the black sheep doesn’t only mean negative things, and the positive things it means (being different, for example) I embrace.

Though I’m still often plagued by feelings of being ostracized, its something that I’m working on accepting. That just happens to be my role in society.

What role do you play in society? Are you the black sheep? How do you feel about your role? 

Texting Etiquette

18 Jul


Everyone has a different style when it comes to texting. There is the serial texter, who texts and has conversations multiple people all simultaneously. Then you have the neglexter, who neglects conversation and forgets to text you back. Some (and by “some” I mean men) are one-worders, who you can find responding to your texts with things such as “lol”, “k”, “maybe”, and the classic “sure”. Sometimes you will even get a slow-poke thrown into the bunch. I’m what I’d like to call the faithful texter. I always have my cell with me, and if you text me there is a 99% chance that I will text you back within 5 minutes (the caveat being situations like work, or if I don’t feel/hear my phone…but we will put those in that 1%).

All of this leads me to believe there should be standard texting etiquette that everyone should follow.

1. Carry your cell phone with you. Get a house phone if you don’t want the burden of keeping your cell with you.
2. Respond in a timely manner. No one wants to sit around waiting 30 minutes to see if you want to go to dinner only to ultimately go alone.
3. Be clear. This goes for in-person conversations as well.
4. Be as involved in a conversation as you would be in person. You wouldn’t forget to respond to a friend if they are right in front of you, so do your best to text me back. If you are busy, just tell me.

I know there are times when you just can’t be a faithful texter, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Bad texting should not become a habit.

What is your texting style? What general rules of etiquette should people follow? What is your texting pet peeve?

Introverts — Better Than Extroverts?

19 Apr


I’m admittedly an introvert. I enjoy time alone to reflect, and being in large groups can be fun…BUT they are so taxing that I can’t do it all the time. I had considered myself and introvert for as long as I was consciously aware that introverts and extroverts existed, but it wasn’t until recently that I took a Myers-Briggs typology assessment (okay so it wasn’t actually Myers-Briggs, but it works on the same premise). You can find the questionnaire (as well as take it) here.

I was absolutely thrilled when my results listed me as mastermindMastermind? Hell yeah! Its technical name is INTJ, and because this post is focused on introversion and extroversion, the main point I bring you to is that the “I” stands for introvert. The extrovert of the mastermind would be the field marshall (which sounds a little scary, if you ask me).

Before I get too ahead of myself, I bring to you great information I found earlier today when I was looking for a good, solid definition of what it meant to be an introvert. Basically, what you are depends on how you react to people, and what you prefer to do socially. Introverts tend to be energetically and mentally drained when they are around groups of people for long periods of time. They prefer to draw their attention inward, and focus on their own thoughts.  Extroverts, on the contrary, are energized by being in groups, and have a tendency to seek out social situations. This is also a continuous scale, so most people fall in an area in which they are mostly one or the other, but also have a little bit of the opposite in them, depending on the circumstance in which they must react.

Being a mastermind, I’m strong willed and can easily take control of a situation to make sure every thing is done as it needs to be. I don’t feel suffocated by norms and ideals, and am overflowing with ideas. I, also, don’t need others to feel comfortable. Extroverts, however, often do.

While I was reading, I came upon a story of two women – one extrovert, one introvert – who were business partners, and how they interacted with one another. Something that stuck out to me was that one woman would call someone the second she left the door, and talk to someone until she got to the subway because she would get ‘lonely’ during the walk. This struck me as extremely strange, but probably only because I’m introverted. I know that introverts are by no means generally “better” than extroverts overall, but I like to think that they are. I think the best human beings are those that are independent of others, and can maintain oneself without the assistance of others. Cue the introvert. I’m obviously biased because of who I am, but it only makes sense to me.  What if you can’t get ahold of that person you need to talk to in order to keep you from being lonely? Loneliness. An introvert would never get stuck in a position like that.

This being said, I often find that its hard for me to be friends with those people who are strongly extroverted. I don’t seek out introverts, and I don’t consciously exclude extroverts from my group of friends; it just happens that way.  We like to do different things, and so our interests are vastly different. They like to hang out with groups and friends all the time. I enjoy hanging out with myself or 1 or 2 close friends. They are loud and don’t think deeply about things; I’m more quiet and contemplative. I’ll be acquaintances with these people, and I usually have a desire to become closer (maybe not with strong extroverts, but those with extrovert tendencies), but it just never works out because we don’t like to do the same things in our free times. I do admit, it can be a little frustrating, and I know I’m not the only one who deals with this.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you have trouble being friends with your opposite? Who do you think is better – introverts or extroverts? Why? What is your Myers-Briggs type?


How to Avoid Being A Creeper

15 Apr

The other day (sometime last week), I ran into a person who lived on the same floor in the dorms as me. I haven’t seen him for 2 years, and I was pleasantly surprised! We very briefly chatted, and as he left I shouted for him to drop me a message on Facebook. His reply: “I don’t have a Facebook!” It made so much more sense. I had looked for him just a few weeks before this, and was upset at the thought that he had deleted me from Facebook(I thought we got along well enough).

I got home later that evening, and struggled to remember his last name. When I finally remembered it, I went on to the college directory and looked him up. I really wanted to hang out again, but with no phone number and no Facebook, I had no way to contact him, so I decided to see if I could get his email address. Success. I sat down that night and wrote out an email in which the first line was something similar to “I know I’m being a little bit of a creeper, but…”

When I recounted this story to a close friend, she immediately called me a creeper for looking up his email address. I told her I had put that in the first sentence, and then I explained my actions. The way I see it, if he thought I was being a creeper, he would ignore my email and I wouldn’t hear from him again (it had already been 2 years, so no harm done). If he was okay that I looked him up, then we would be able to hang out and catch up.

Well, guess what happened? He emailed me back, and we may be hanging out next week.

With the technology that today has to offer, there are an infinite number of ways to find out what so-and-so is doing (Facebook and Twitter to name a few) and with the development of these social sites has come about the term “Facebook stalking” (or just stalking..or being a creeper…you know). Don’t deny it. We’ve all been there.  

And despite the abundance and use of social websites, people who seek out information about other people are still called “creepers” or “stalkers”.

The only way to not be called one of these names: Don’t use social networking sites.

Seems counter-intuitive, right?

Without using Facebook, I had to find a way to reconnect with my friend, or it was likely we would never reconnect. I think it was completely acceptable to look up his email address. There was a time in which we had to look peoples numbers and addresses up in the phone book to find them. It wasn’t considered creepy then, so why should it be considered creepy now?

And as for social networking sites…if someone doesn’t want you to know something about them, they won’t post it. Everything else is fair game. People don’t post pictures and status updates so they can look at them; they post because they want other people to be involved with their life, and be up to date on whats going on. This being said, there is absolutely no reason why looking at someone’s profile should be considered “stalking” unless its excessive and inappropriate.

Do you agree that looking at peoples posts on social networking sites isn’t creepy? Do you think looking up my friend like I did was creepy?