Tag Archives: sad

Dear Dad [Rest in Peace]

26 Dec

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Dear Dad,

I called you dad, pa, daddy, Roberto, papa. You called me Michelleeanna, Annie, hot rod…Anner Nanner.

You’ve been the best father that a girl could hope for, and you’ve been with me through every moment of my life, big or small. As we go through your belongings, we find things that bring back the best memories…memories I’ll cherish the rest of my life. You may be gone in body, now, but you’ll never be gone in spirit.

The day of my wedding, you’ll be there.
The day I finally buy a house, you’ll be there.
The day I graduate with my next degree…you’ll be there.

You live on in me and my sister, our mother, and your grand children.

I find solace knowing that you are finally at peace, and that your pain has ended. You fought a good fight, Dad, and I knew that no matter the outcome, the day you told me I’m going to fight this damn cancer  that everything would be okay. And I know that as much as I love you, and I admire you that you love me and are proud of me.

Everything I’ve done until this day, and everything I’ll do in the future is to make you and Mom proud of me. You are such a major part of who I are, and who I’ve become. You’re the fire to my phoenix.

I know that you held on as long as you did for us, to make sure we were ready and that we would be okay once you were gone. Thank you for that. I know it was a hard, long struggle. I know you were worried. But we will be okay. I got to spend one last Christmas with my papa, even if you were only hanging on by a thread, even if you couldn’t sit with us next to the Christmas tree…I got to sing Christmas carols to you, and buy you one last Christmas present, and for that I’ll be forever grateful.

I’ll miss you. I love you.

Give ’em hell, Dad

Rest in Peace
12.26.14
2:19 pm

The Changing of the Seasons

27 Sep

 

It’s that time of year again…fall. Often fondly known as Autumn.

It is the favorite time of year of many. Everywhere I go people remark how beautiful it is and how much they love it. And I’m inclined to agree.

But no. It isn’t.

My brain says I love it. I step outside and the sun is at an angle that makes the whole world feel warmer and cozier. The trees are turning brilliant shades of golds and oranges and reds. The nights are cool, but the days are still warm. It’s absolutely brilliant.

My heart, however, does not seem to agree.

When I step outside, I get this horrible sinking feeling. I want to go for a walk or take the dog out, or just sit outside, but I can never bring myself to do so. Sometimes I just want to cry, but most of the time I just want to run back inside and close myself up from the world…maybe take a nap until summer. I wanted to go look at the aspens changing colors today, but then I changed my mind. Decided I didn’t want to leave my house or see people. Then, I feel like I’ve wasted a perfectly beautiful day by spending it inside doing nothing.

That is why fall isn’t my favorite.

What’s your favorite season? Are you ready for another year to be over?