Tag Archives: rude

The End-of-Relationship Asshole

20 Jun

If you’ve been keeping up with my 30 day letter challenge, as you should be, you have read my letter to my ex boyfriend. You might have also read a comment from a friend about the situation, too.  Fadingsunlight wrote:

Why do perfectly decent human beings turn into jackasses when a relationship ends?

And it’s true…or it, at least, seems to be. My ex wasn’t for me, and that doesn’t really reflect anything about him other than I didn’t find the things he did during the relationship to be desirable (that doesn’t mean others won’t or don’t). He was, however, a decent human being.

He was genuine in his feelings, and I could never say that he was innately just a bad person. By that, I mean he wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt me, or lead me on knowing it would hurt me, or really just have no disregard for others.

Until we broke up, that is. It wasn’t even a bad breakup, but the second we broke it off he just became mean, vile, and petty. It wasn’t even a response to something I was doing – I hadn’t tried to contact him, and I was being completely civil (spare my rants to my best friend, but that’s expecting). It was of his own will to seek me out and be rude and disrespectful.

I don’t understand it at all.

Does fadingsunlight make a valid point in her comment? Do you agree that people who are generally not jerks become so after breaking up? Why do you think this happens? 

How Much to Tip the Waitstaff

15 Aug

 

I’ve posted about waitstaff before, and how you should be courteous and polite to them. As I was driving in my car earlier, I was having a hypothetical, completely fictional conversation with a friend in my head, in which I said “be polite now, and tip her less if she has bad service!”

That made me think a little bit. I usually tip the same, regardless of if the service was good or bad. Its partially because bad service is usually explained away by outside reasons, and I don’t have a lot of money to tip really well. I know people who do change tip amount depending on service, though.

If you were part of waitstaff, would you prefer a customer to be really needy and obnoxious if you got a good tip or would you prefer them to be polite and patient, but leave a poor tip?

The Obsession with Being Impolite

20 Jul

 

All cultures have a set of rules that dictates what are socially acceptable actions. Politeness has its own set of guidelines that can progress and change. They also often vary depending on the relationship of the people involved.

Being politely is personally very important, but I’ve found that isn’t the case with a lot of people. Americans are often thought of as rude and demanding, and it is obvious why, but I don’t understand the reasoning behind it. As far as I’m aware, you should say please when you are asking someone to do something, and thank them when they do. You should excuse yourself if you burp. You should open doors for people. If someone says something to you, you respond. Don’t interrupt someone when they are talking. It is also polite to smile when you see someone on the street, and ask people how they are, but that might be just because I’m from a small town.

All of those things are standard for our culture, but why do we refuse to partake? I know so many people who refuse to excuse themselves when they burp, because “everyone does it, and its a perfectly normal bodily function.” That’s true, but you don’t see me running around naked when I go to the grocery store. Please and thank you are even more standard, but people seem to forget them. Just because someone’s job is to bring you food or serve you drinks doesn’t mean that you should not say please. Honestly, they don’t haveto do anything for you. We do things like this because they are polite, and well…because you don’t want anyone to spit in your food.

I can’t figure out if its because we are a young country, and this just might be in the course of development, or if its really just Americans. Do we feel so entitled that we just think we don’t need to be polite? Is it the obsession with being different just so overwhelming that we can’t be polite?

Do you think being polite is important? Is being impolite an American thing, or do you think its the same everywhere? Why do you think people are so impolite?

How Do I Deal With Condescending Professors?

11 Apr

I enjoy writing about teachers, because I find their lives outside of their jobs fascinating. Some of the best people I’ve met in my life have been teachers of mine, and so there is a soft spot in my heart for teachers as people. Yesterday, however, I had one of the worst experiences with a teacher that I’ve ever had.

Right now I’m taking Molecular and General Genetics as a senior at my university. This is the second time I’ve taken the class; the first time I took it, it was partially my own fault for not applying myself as much as I should have, partially life’s fault for throwing so much stress at me outside of school, and partially the teachers fault (how am I supposed to learn if I can’t even understand what you’re saying because your accent is too thick)? Try, try again. This semester, I was lucky enough to get a new teacher, because usually the course is only taught by one set of teachers. Everything was going alright. I got a B on my first test, which is well in the direction of not failing again. The second exam, however, was a blood bath. I failed. Well, like many other students before me, I emailed my professor to see if there was a possible way to make up my points. Here it is (only edited to exclude my actual point values and names):

Dr. H,

I’m emailing you because I’m concerned about the last exam we took. I got
xx out of xxx and I’m not entirely sure how that happened. I didn’t get
that poor of a score last time I took this class, so it doesn’t make
sense that I did worse. As you can see, I received a B on the first exam.
Regardless, I did poorly, and I was hoping it would be possible to get
some of those points back. I was thinking that I could redo all the
questions I got wrong on the exam in order to receive half of the points
I lost.  Let me know what you think. I really can’t afford to take this class a third
time, and I’m concerned about my grade. Thanks for your consideration and
have a wonderful afternoon.

-Michelle

Hi, Michelle,

I am having a wonderful evening as a result of your e-mail. I think that one of your friends has discovered your password and is sending joke messages from your account. But if you are serious about this proposal, please give > me permission to forward it to the department head and the university president to get their opinions.

H

It may or may not seem like all that much to you, but I was deeply hurt by the manner in which she responded. Not only did she take my very earnest proposal as a joke, but she continued to be demeaning, acting as if I might think that I’m so special to get special permission from the department head and university president (both of whom are not needed to make decisions of this nature).  It upset me a great deal – to the point of tears. I don’t think that anything I said warranted such a rude response, as a single statement of her teaching policy would suffice, and the manner in which she acted is inappropriate for her position as a teacher.

What should I do about her response? Should I handle it between us or should I bring in a third party? Should I just let it go? Have you ever been in a situation like this?