Tag Archives: romance

Parents Kissing Kids, Too Sexual?

20 Sep

I found an article on my Facebook feed warning parents not to kiss their children on the lips because the child may perceive that as sexual or romantic in nature because Mommy and Daddy do it.

To that, I have to ask…why the hell do we have to over-sexualize everything?

Children do not have this perception of sexuality that adults do. When a child masturbates, it is simply because it feels good – the same type of good like the sun hitting your face or your feet on the grass. When a child sees Mommy and Daddy kissing, they don’t have this philosophical inner dialogue about the emotional and physical constitution of the kiss. They see two people loving each other. So when Mommy kisses her son or daughter on the mouth, she knows that Mommy loves her, and Mommy knows that she loves her back.

As fate would have it, I also have personal experience to support this.

When I was about 5, I got “in trouble” with my teacher because I kissed a little boy in my class. My parents are both amazing people, so they completely dismissed the teacher’s concern. Why? Simply because I was showing affection toward him, just like I did my parents.

I can also speak from experience that as you discover your sexuality, you do become aware that you are kissing your parents on their lips, and you naturally gravitate toward a newer, more “acceptable” place – the cheek. The lips then become reserved for lovers. (I will hold that in moments of sweet innocence, we sometimes will revert back to that youthful kiss on the lips.)

I question this psychologists relationship with her parents, too. I have a relationship that if I go home, at the age of 25, and find one or both of my parents laying down watching TV in their bed, I will still crawl into bed with them and snuggle. I’d even say that I’m a very needy 25-year-old child, as I’m constantly asking my parents for hugs. I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks this behavior odd, too.

Do you think we over-sexualize things? Is it acceptable to kiss parents on the lips? Is it confusing? 

When Life Gives You Lemons, Where Do You Find a Juicer?

25 Jan

You know…to make lemonade…

If you read my last post, you know that my life has been a little crazy lately. For whatever reason, my anxiety is seeming to peak today, and it’s driving me crazy. I haven’t been to a doctor about it, because I don’t think its a big enough issue to need medication, but it still happens from time to time.

Point being, I’m having a whole bunch of difficulty getting rid of the anxiety today. No one around to talk it out with and the only busy work I have to do is stressful and doesn’t require enough thought to take my mind off of anything. I want to go enjoy the great outdoors at the new place, but thinking about goofing around when I have so much to do causes me even more stress and anxiety.

Boo.

When I am this stressed out about everything, I try to find something to inspire me to move forward. Really, that’s my problem – not moving forward. My stress stops me dead in my tracks. You folks might think its weird, but in situations like this when I don’t know where to go or what to do or how to get my life together, I frequently look to astrology.

Do I completely believe that our lives are governed by the planets and the sun? Not necessarily, but maybe.

Is my horoscope often very close to how life is going for me? Usually eerily so, and I almost exclusively check it at the end of the day.

Do I find inspiration and guidance from my horoscope? Absolutely.

Now I don’t always read my horoscope, but I find myself doing it more when I feel neck deep and life is winning. Relationship issues, horoscope says that the love gods are on my side and I need to focus on [insert relationship something or other here]. Whether its communication or romance, or its echoing my frustration, it helps me stop and be more objective about the situation. The same goes with work. When I feel like its consuming my life, or I can’t even deal with my job anymore, I find inspiration to solve those problems.

And before you discredit me as crazy, I think this is the real use of religion, whatever religion that may be. I find that stories about awesomeness of some godly figure and how people used that to pull them through rough times to be incredibly inspiring. A lot of these stories have good rules to live your life by, whether you believe in an almighty being or not.

What inspires you when you are struggling with life? Do you ever turn to things like this? What’s your best method for dealing with anxiety?

Goodbye, Summer

3 Sep

 

There are lots of different indicators of when summer is over. Some say its over when school starts. Some say its over when it gets cold. Some say its over when fall equinox hits. Others count the last day of summer as Labor Day.

Labor day is tomorrow, and because many summer things will be over (like paddle boating), I’d like to make an official goodbye to summer. I’ve found this one to be an especially enjoyable summer, and I did quite a few things that I set out to do. There are some things I didn’t get done though, like swimming in the reservoir (hopefully that will happen tomorrow), climbing Horsetooth mountain, and then there is the ever-elusive summer romance.

What are some things you accomplished from your summer to-do list? Did you find your summer romance? Any plans for fall and winter?

My Lady Bits and How They Affect My Dating Range

24 Jun

 

Before I get to the point, I’d like to make a point of saying that there are three big divisions I can make of how I think about love and romance and such. My lustful thoughts (lady bits), the thoughts of the heart, and then my rational mind all influence how I think about dating, and each definitely has a say in how old or young someone has to be if I’ll date them (usually my rational mind wins). Age isn’t black and white, like I would like it to be, but so many things have to be processed through my brain before I make a decision. These are a few of my common guidelines when I think about dating.

“Young”: 19-21

Lady bits: This could be exciting. I should probably seduce him.
Heart: He is young, but he is so cute! Who cares if I’m a little older than him? Probably him, I guess…but once you seduce him he will know how awesome you are!
Rationally: I guess it doesn’t matter, but if he is interested he will make the first move.

“My age”: 21-29

Lady bits: This could be exciting. Mmmmm….very exciting!
Heart: So cute! We like the same music, and he likes animals and blah blah blah…! We were meant for each other!
Rationally: I wonder if he thinks I’m cute, too?

“Not too much older”: 30-35

Lady bits: This could be exciting. He should seduce me…a lot. At his job, at my job, in my house, in his house…
Heart: He is a little older, but its not that old. Just date him. Don’t even think he might have ulterior motives for wanting to date you.
Rationally: I can’t imagine he would want to date someone 10 years younger than him. Not only does he have much more life experience, but I’m sure that we just don’t have anything in common.

“Older”: 36-49+

Lady bits: This could be exciting. He should seduce me.
Heart: So what if he is like, 20 years older than you? Do you SEE how gorgeous he is? Just think of his ample life experience enough for the both of you!
Rationally: That life experience? Way too much for me; I look like a baby in comparison. We would have just about 0 in common.

 

How much older or younger will you date? Do you ever go through a spell in which you know you shouldn’t date someone because of age, but it is oh-so-tempting? Would you date someone the age of your children (or parents)?