Tag Archives: relationship

Inspiring People

9 Dec

What is a relationship but two people exchanging ideas, beliefs, values…each other?

Nothing.

I find that a relationship isn’t worth having unless you are exchanging these things with the other person. If you aren’t growing, and you aren’t learning, then what’s the value? This is something that I feel in the core of my being, and something I refuse to lose sight of.  When I am in a relationship, I will undoubtedly incorporate something about them into myself. Sometimes it is something I’m consciously aware of, and sometimes it isn’t.

So with that, it seems that I have surrounded myself with many truly inspiring people.

Jessica inspires me to get in touch with my creative side. To go out of the boundaries that I’m used to. To get in touch with the organic side of life.
Allison just so happened to inspire a snort that I can’t seem to shake.
Meghan inspires in me the wholesomeness of being down to earth.
Melissa inspires me to get back to my roots, and keep in touch with the parts of life that I tend to forget.
Michelle inspires me to take that part of me that I try to keep in check so well, and let it run wild.
Andrew inspires adventure that I sometimes need teased out of me.
Amber reminds me to chase my dreams, and that I’ll reach them.
Nathan inspires friendship, no how much distance, time, or trouble separates it.

You all inspire me to write. To create. To love. To be adventurous. Spontaneous. To seek knowledge.

Every single friend I have I’ve shared something with. A moment or a look. An idea or value. And at the end of the day, it isn’t what I’m inspired to do or be, but who inspired me and how that has shaped me.

Inspiration. It’s the breath of life.

Who inspires you? 

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The Consequence of Facebook on Friendship

2 Oct

Have you ever been scrolling through your Facebook feed and you see something like this:

Hey everyone. I just deleted a whole bunch of friends, and if you are friends with Milly Anderson, please delete her. I don’t want to associate with people who associate with her.

Surprisingly, it seems to happen a lot.

If you know anything about me, you likely know that I am not afraid to remove toxic people from my life, and that includes Facebook. I have two methods I use very frequently:

1) If we are good friends, or I would generally like to keep in touch with you and Facebook is the best way, but I don’t like your posts I will unfollow you.
2) If we are not good friends, and you continually post offensive or negative posts I will delete you.

It’s relatively drama-free.

The consequence of social media is that even if you do this, your business may (or may not…people really, really  don’t usually care about your life and aren’t going to inquire) be spread through other people who are still on your friend list. This is where people ask others to delete Milly Anderson or face losing a friendship. But your business still might be spread.

That isn’t okay. I’m sure Milly is an okay person and has every right to have friends that you do. This isn’t to mention that this is an ineffective way to stop spreading information.

It’s the internet. Unfortunately, some people are awful and they deserve to be deleted, but its not fair to try to govern other people’s lives and relationships. When I remove people from my friend groups (offline), I acknowledge that I can’t make others not be friends with them. That isn’t my choice to make.

What is the motivating factor behind asking people to delete people just because you are having issues? Do you think it is effective, and have you ever done it? Do you do that in offline relationships?

Right Guy, Wrong Time

21 Sep

I want to say that I hear about this all the time…girl meets guy, guy is amazing, but its just not the right time in her life, or she is too busy, or work or whatever.

But I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard this line outside of a movie.

For the first time in my life, however, I feel like this is just the case. I want nothing more than to find a nice fellow for myself, but it just isn’t the right time. I even want it to be the right time, but it isn’t.

Had I had a significant other before my dad got diagnosed with cancer, I would be so grateful right now – someone to comfort me, someone to be supportive when I just feel like I can’t move forward, just someone – but that isn’t the case. Even though I would love to have all of that right now instead of struggling to keep my head above water, I know that if I started a relationship right now I would be neglectful and needy.

That isn’t to say that I wouldn’t rule out love, if it just so happened to fall in my lap. I just don’t have the ability to seek it out. I find myself in my down time sometimes thinking ‘I should do this to get a SO’ or ‘I should put the moves on him’ and then I snap myself back to reality and get this gut feeling that its a horrible idea and sounds like a lot of work.

That is a statement I’ve never said before either: Relationships are hard work. Never before have I felt that way. Amazing, isn’t it?

Fortunately, there is nothing that sways my belief that if it is the right person, it will come in the right time.

Have you ever felt that it really, truly just wasn’t the right time to start a relationship? Was there someone courting you, and how did you handle that? 

The Territoriality of the Female Homosapien

14 Oct

This is a topic I’ve wanted to write about for quite some time, but for whatever reason the words just don’t seem to come like I want them to.

The idea first struck me when within a week a few months ago, I had heard it spoken and talked about in three different mediums. One of them was actually Girl Code, a show on MTV that is quite entertaining and often enough relateable.

So what am I actually talking about? Territoriality, specifically of women over their male friends. We’ve all been there…at least I know I have. When I was in high school, and really even up to this day, I struggled frequently with accepting any girl that my best friend liked. She was either not pretty enough, not nice enough, not right enough. I think we often use the excuse that we just want what’s best for our best friend, and in our eyes, nothing short of perfect is good enough for our perfect bestie, but it’s just an excuse. We do want the best, of course, but really, we want him for ourselves, even if we have him forever friend-zoned.

Just think about it. A new girl means your best guy friend isn’t spending as much time with you as he used to. It’s even worse if you are single.

And that’s when we start getting catty. To him, to her. And we make excuses, and sometimes even go as far as breaking them up.

But it isn’t our place. Yes, friends are important. Yes, we care about them and want whats best. And yes, sometimes that isn’t us, because significant others are important, too.

Really, there is room for both significant others and friends. No need to get catty, ladies.

Can you think of a time when you were territorial over a guy friend? How do you deal with it? Do you become catty? Why do you think girls do this, and do you think men do this with their best female friends?

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Person in a Different State

26 Jun

Dear Person in a Different State,

I miss you all the damn time. There were a few times when I questioned if I actually could tell you anything, but regardless, I told you more than I tell most people.

You’ve been a really good friend, and I’m glad that you are doing what is best for you and for your career, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish you were still here.

Who do I play cards with? Or go to the Alley Cat with? Or sit on my couch for hours at a time with?

I know it’s selfish, but I still wish you were here.

I don’t know what else to say. You tried to get me to tell you I was sad that you were leaving, and it’s true, I was and still am. I just get awkward in situations like that, so my apologies if you ever felt like you weren’t going to be missed. You are.

Keep your head up, and work hard. Whatever it is that you need to do, I am confident you’ll do it. (Now you just need to meet Darren…)

Always, Me

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Fave Interwebs Friend

19 Jun

Dear Face Interwebs Friend,

Jeez, do we have an interesting friendship or what?

Lets see, its been 11 years since I met you and we text quite frequently, yet we’ve only talked on the phone…2, 3 times?…and we’ve never met.

I’ll be honest, after talking to you for 11 years the thought of actually meeting you is terrifying. Expectations are so big, that I don’t think even the strongest person in the world could hold them up.

I had hoped I could suggest a vacation here so we could meet, but apparently Colorado is a dumb place to vacation (really…who says that?).

Some days, like all friendships, I just want to push you down, but then other days I need you. You can be so supportive, and knowing that you appreciate hearing from me usually just makes my day, regardless of how the rest of the conversation goes.

I don’t have a whole lot to say now. I think you’ve heard it all. Whatever happens, I wish you the best, and I’m always just a text away. Hopefully you find the woman of your dreams that I know you’ve been searching long and hard for, and I hope you come to a peaceful place within yourself so that you can succeed at whatever it is you set your heart to.

Take care.

Always, Me

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Ex-Boyfriend

18 Jun

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

I haven’t talked to you in a very, very long time.

Our breakup wasn’t as smooth as it could have been, and it’s really unfortunate because, while you technically broke up with me, it was a mutual breakup.

We never talked about this part of it all, but…here we go.

First of all, how dare you break up with me via text message. I can recall the moment you demanded that if I ever broke up with you that I had to do it in person as if it happened just today. I also remember so vividly that I told you I was a decent person, and simply out of respect I would do it in person, but that I didn’t have to do anything you told me.

And then, you break up with me with a text and tell me I’m being difficult when I call you on it? So much for that year and a half we had.

But it’s okay. It was a relief to be done. Mutual, remember?

It didn’t stop there, though. You had to try to argue with me all summer after that. You had to spread rumors. You had to try to hurt me. Well, it’s fine; things like that don’t phase me.

Oh, and by the way…I never dated that black guy, I didn’t drink that summer or really any other summer and I still don’t really drink, I never went party-crazy, and all the friends you say you hated when we were together? Yeah. They still hate you.

I do look back on some of the memories I have with you fondly, though. Our relationship wasn’t bad by any means, and while there are some things I wish I could yell at you about, I won’t because it doesn’t matter any more. So, while I will continue on with my life, know that even though things ended horribly, it was all for a reason.

Everything happens for a reason. Even us. Even our break up. Remember when I would always tell you that? That’s because its true.

Always, Me