Tag Archives: questioning

The Day “Gay Marriage” Became “Marriage”

26 Jun

Today is a day that will be written into the history books.

Those of us advocating for LGBT rights have long been looking for the legalization of gay marriage. It is so obviously a denial of basic rights, and is so tangible, that it has been the forerunner for civil rights denied by the LGBT community. Today, it became not something to fight for, but a door that has now opened. Because anyone can be married now regardless of sex, gender, or orientation, “gay marriage” is now just “marriage. And that is something to be excited about!

We took this away from those who have used it as a backbone to their arguments that LGBT people are apparently different than everyone else. Now, we can use this momentum to tear down other barriers to things like adoption, life saving blood donations, and instead of tolerance we can seek acceptance. A same-sex married couple doesn’t have any influence on anyone’s lives but there own, so what is there to tolerate? Nothing. Because everyone should be accepting.

The ruling by the Supreme Court of the United States today, wasn’t a landslide movement, however. Four of the nine members voted against it, and while their reasons are their own, it is hard to say why. These 4 people are holding that their reasons for voting against it was because it was unconstitutional to take away the rights of individual states to decide their own laws. It is hard for me to accept that this is their reason for voting against it.

Considering that in Loving v. Virginia the decision was unanimous, we still have a long way to go. I find it very interesting that in that supreme court ruling, that marriage was a “fundamental freedom”, and that the “freedom to marry or not marry…resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the state” while citing the 14th amendment of the constitution lends me to believe that the 4 dissents were of no result of the constitution, but of simple bigotry.

Section 1 of Amendment XIV states:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

 

Sounds to me as though yes, the states screwed up. Yes, due process of law landed this issue in the supreme court. And YES, those states were denying the rights of their citizens, which is unconstitutional, and why no, today’s landmark decision is NOT unconstitutional. These 4 folks just found themselves on the wrong side of history.

Yay history!! Now my coworker can adopt another pet and her wife will be able to easily divorce her.

 

Dissents of the 4 supreme court justices.
Text of Amendment XIV.
And a really awesomely done video about it all.

 

Please, if you feel as though I got it wrong, I would love to hear your comments as I’m not a lawyer nor a judge (or any expert in the law, for that matter). Make sure you include reference material, though, because I don’t need a bunch of bigoted bullshit cluttering up my space. 

So You Think You Can Sashay? Drag 2013

20 Oct

It’s no secret that I’m a big proponent of equal rights, and that I love the gay community with all my heart. Forever an ally! Each year I try to make it to the drag show, but usually I only make it in the spring. Last night, I went to the fall drag show and there were some amazing, fabulous performers!

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Michelle squared! Got our tickets ahead of time!

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Drag wouldn’t be drag without loads of glitter. So You Think You Can Sashay? Was this year’s “theme”.

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I’ve been to the drag show for about 4 years now, and this year there was a much larger population of women dressed in drag as men than I’ve seen. There was even a boy band toward the end.

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Another woman dressed a man – Pit Bull, in this particular performance.

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Words can’t even describe. This queen was a fabulous performer.

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As was this queen. She was the closing act, and her message was powerful. She opened with all the words and hateful things people are bullied with and told when they don’t fit into the cookie cutter shapes that the community seems to want everyone to be. Then, she sang Brave by Sara Bareilles and threw cards written with positive words into the audience.

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And, of course, you can’t go to a drag show and not get a picture with one of the performers, preferably one with lots of titties hanging out. This queen makes me look so drab in comparison (that’s how you know she is a good one!).

For your viewing pleasure, I have also included a couple videos that I took of the performances. The first one is a queen performing Lady Gaga. The second one is of a queen performing a Beyonce mashup. While these queens don’t seem to do drag very professionally, their dance moves are amazing and the hard work they put in to coordinate this is just amazing.

 

 

Finally, I want to tell you a story about progress. There is a huge movement working toward getting rid of the gender binary and raising awareness that not everyone fits into “I’m a female who likes males” and “I’m a male who likes females”. One of the issues involved here is how public restrooms are set up – usually a men’s restroom with urinals and a women’s without urinals. Last night, the restroom designations were covered with a piece of paper that said “gender inclusive bathroom”. Originally, I went into what was the women’s restroom and there was a line of like 30 people, so I turned around and trotted over to the men’s restroom. There I was, waiting in line to use a toilet, standing next to some guy at a urinal. That was interesting, but okay. There are some kinks that will need worked out if this is to gain popularity, like having a trash receptacle in each stall, but that isn’t hard to put into practice. Just knowing that everyone is okay with the bathroom situation is progress in and of itself, even if the attendees of this event are more forward-thinking than the general population [probably] is, is progress.

Ever been to a drag show? Would you go in the future? Have you ever dressed up and/or performed in drag? 

Who Would You Come Out To?

18 Apr

Coming out as gay or lesbian or transgender or whatever you associate yourself as can be a really big huge deal. Whether it is parents, a close friend, or someone else, I’m sure that the decision of who to come out to first weighs heavily on the person declaring their sexuality. I’ve long told my friends that they can tell me anything and I will be there to support them.  Its not that I question their sexuality – that’s not my place – but if they begin to, I want to help them through anything they are struggling with.

I was thinking about it recently, and I’m not entirely sure who I would come out to first. Likely, I would just say screw everyone because its none of their business and continue on with my life as though I don’t even have a sexuality. I never discussed dating with my parents until 2 weeks after I started dating my first boyfriend. The only reason it got brought up was become one of them asked me if we were dating – to which I replied yes, for about 2 weeks. That’s just my personality, and I know that everyone is different. I remember defending my bisexual (now lesbian) friend in middle school to my parents, through angry tears.

But assuming that I did find a need to tell someone, who would I tell? Would I confided in my parents? My best friend? The internet? Maybe scream it from the rooftops?

Who would you come out to if you were to declare your sexuality? Who did you come out to if you’ve already been through this?