Tag Archives: physical

Social Exhaustion

15 Oct

As an introvert, being in social situations can be exhausting. It isn’t that I dislike the social situations, however, and therein lies the problem.

Currently, I’m at a state where I’m forcing myself to see people. I would love to just hide away and do my own thing for at least a few days, and while I try and try…I know in my heart that I really should hang out with friends.

Hm…but should I? At what point am I not being true to myself and keeping myself healthy and sane? And maybe that feeling that I should want to hang out with people is just extrovert propaganda and proof that we live in a society that doesn’t understand the introvert.

Point being: I’m exhausted. Mentally, physically exhausted. And so far, my evenings are booked all the way into the weekend.

How do you deal with social exhaustion? Do you force yourself to hang out with people, even if you really just want to enjoy alone time? Why? Why not?

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Is it Cheating if it’s his Guy Friend?

24 Jun

After my old blog site started going downhill, a Facebook group was made so that everyone can be in touch while we all figure out what is next.

In that group, a woman posted the following:

I’m doing a survey: how many of you think cheating is flirting, mentally, emotionally, physically?

How many of you think cheating is just vaginal/penal/oral sex?

Please elaborate

Valid question. It’s something that differs between all people, because what is okay and what is not okay is different for all people. I find that those people who have been cheated on are especially rigid in their views, but of course, they’ve been hurt.

No one likes being hurt.

I hold to my guns that there are many gray areas involved with cheating, but we all know that’s my MO about everything. And before you get riled up, let me explain.

Person has sex with other person, but it was emotionally meaningless. While that person might not think it was a big deal because they don’t “love them”, he/she should still know that this would hurt the significant other, and should not want to hurt the person he/she loves. And thus, the significant other was hurt and feels unloved.

I would feel solace knowing that my significant other didn’t love the other person, but I would also feel unloved, because he knew it would hurt me. If he didn’t know that, we shouldn’t be together. Unfortunately, this could be a gray area…obviously not for me because I would never sleep around like that, but for some.

Person flirts with other person, but doesn’t realize he/she is flirting. Other person starts flirting back. Significant other sees this, and sees intent and a developing relationship.

This is another gray area, because some people are just naturally charming and flirty. Even being a gentleman could be considered flirting, or that care giving nature. But if that’s just who you are and you weren’t intentionally flirting or coming on to someone, I don’t consider that cheating. At the same time, intentional flirting is a no-no. Telling the difference is hard.

But, back to my title question. Emotional cheating is often considered the worst, or at least just as bad, as physical cheating. I’ll leave that up for you to decide. What I want to know is if the sex and sexuality of the people in question matters as far as emotional cheating is concerned.

Take this example: Person A is in a relationship with Person B, and is good friends with Person C. A and B have been arguing a lot lately, but they both still love each other very much. Person A needs someone to vent to one night about the workplace and about the arguments with Person B, and really, just life. Person C is A’s closest friend, so they hang out. Person A vents, while C listens intently. 

Months go on, and Person A seems to be going to Person C to vent a lot more than Person B, who A should probably be going to.

Case and point: emotional cheating.

Let’s say A is a heterosexual man, and B and C are heterosexual women. Cheating?

Let’s say A is a heterosexual man, B is a woman, and C is a heterosexual man. Cheating?

How about if A is a heterosexual woman, B is a man, and C is a heterosexual woman?

What if A is a heterosexual woman, and B and C are heterosexual men? Cheating?

What if A is a bisexual man or woman, and C is a homosexual same or opposite? Cheating?

What do you think about these situations? Is your gut telling you they are different? Why? Are they really different? 

Looks Don’t Matter

9 Jul

 

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: if you have an awesome personality, it doesn’t matter what you look like.

Some may disagree with me, and say that for two people to be intimate, you have to be physically attracted to your partner. Some might simply say that looks matter, but I disagree. Yes, if I see someone walking down the street and they are drop dead gorgeous, I’ll acknowledge it. Yes, there are people I find unattractive. I’m sure people find me unattractive, also, but here’s the kicker:

If a guy is awesome, I would give him a chance no matter what he looks like.My reason for doing this lies in the belief that once I’m attracted to someones personality, they become physically attractive as well. There is one stipulation, however. I have to know the guy is awesome beforehand (read: we’re friends/acquaintances). If some ugly guy comes up to me randomly on the street and asks me on a date, I’m more likely to say no, simply because I have to accept this offer at face value. I’ve definitely had friends be shocked about who I’d go on a date with.

Is this lowering my standards? How important are physical appearances?

Why I Don’t Use Physical Humor

4 Jun

 

I’m really not all that funny anyway. It takes a special kind of person to appreciate my humor, and I’m usually friends with every one of those people because they are so hard to find. My style is verbal, and often sarcastic, so its not a surprise that its hard to find funny, but I’d prefer this over trying to use physical humor.

Some people are good at it, and comfortable with it, and I’m not one of them. Most of my friend group uses physical humor, and you can see that in pretty much every group photo we have ever taken. They do the goofy faces, and make weird looks when they take pictures. I smile. Shocking, I know.

I just can’t bring myself to do anything else. I’ve tried in the past, but I never know what to do or what face to make, so it always ends up looking the same. People even asked me why I make that face – I stopped, and fast.

I’m also not comfortable with it, and excuse me when I say this, but its partially because I’m fat. Also shocking, I know.

I have rules for myself that have to do with my weight. I’m pretty comfortable with it, and I don’t think my body could look like a rock star at any weight. One of my rules: don’t show any skin between my knee and my boobs to anyone other than significant others. One of my other rules is to not use physical humor. On any given day, I look like a fat girl. If I make a stupid face in a picture, however, then I’m just the stupid looking fat girl. At least if I smile and look nice, I might be the pretty fat girl.

What kind of humor do you use? What kind of humor do you appreciate more?