Tag Archives: long-term

The Numbers of Finding “The One”

1 Dec

Out of a whim, and the fact that I am so over being single, I decided to look up the average number of men a woman dates before finding “the one”. And let’s face it – dating sucks! At least, from my perspective. I don’t like meeting new people, I don’t like feeling rejected, and I don’t like being vulnerable.

The number: not so simple.

The numbers I found all seem to be referencing the same study, done in the UK. But they break the numbers down, so it isn’t necessarily an even “10 people”. This is what that looks like:

  • Kisses with 15 men.
  • Two long-term relationships.
  • Heartbreak, twice.
  • Seven dates, plus two blind dates and two dates with someone from the Internet.
  • Four disaster dates.
  • Being stood up once.
  • One live-in relationship.
  • Four one-night stands.
  • Seven sexual partners.

Soooooo…apparently I’m lacking. If I take my first kiss, which happened 8 years ago…and we just go off of kisses…it’s going to be 12 years before I get married.

Good thing life doesn’t happen so precisely.

My list looks a little more like this:

  • Kissed 6 men.
  • Two long-term relationships.
  • Heartbreak…umm…like…my heart hurts? Twice? 3 Times? Like…I was in a relationship and we broke up and I was devastated? Once. Like…I liked someone or was in a relationship with someone and got rejected and felt sad? Who even knows.
  • Umm…2 dates? Maybe? Neither of them might have counted… plus one blind dates, which I also don’t know if it was a date…and…I dated someone from a book…not the internet, though. But that was the same guy as the blind date…I guess…
  • No disaster dates, unless you count on being on a bus or in a car with a stranger a date…
  • Been stood up [almost] once.
  • One live-in relationship, I think? Does living together, then starting to date count? It wasn’t really planned…
  • One, one night stand.
  • Zero sexual partners? Are we talking sexually intimate, or are we talked full on ‘he put his penis in my vagina’ sexual partners?

Sounds like I’m a little behind. Hopefully not 12 years behind, and hopefully I don’t have to kiss another 9 men, have 3 more one-night stands, OR have seven more sexual partners before I meet my husband.

That sounds like a lot of work. Too much work.

How do your numbers compare? What were your numbers like (if you’re already married)? Do you think there could be statistically significant differences between the UK and the US?