Tag Archives: gender

So You Think You Can Sashay? Drag 2013

20 Oct

It’s no secret that I’m a big proponent of equal rights, and that I love the gay community with all my heart. Forever an ally! Each year I try to make it to the drag show, but usually I only make it in the spring. Last night, I went to the fall drag show and there were some amazing, fabulous performers!

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Michelle squared! Got our tickets ahead of time!

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Drag wouldn’t be drag without loads of glitter. So You Think You Can Sashay? Was this year’s “theme”.

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I’ve been to the drag show for about 4 years now, and this year there was a much larger population of women dressed in drag as men than I’ve seen. There was even a boy band toward the end.

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Another woman dressed a man – Pit Bull, in this particular performance.

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Words can’t even describe. This queen was a fabulous performer.

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As was this queen. She was the closing act, and her message was powerful. She opened with all the words and hateful things people are bullied with and told when they don’t fit into the cookie cutter shapes that the community seems to want everyone to be. Then, she sang Brave by Sara Bareilles and threw cards written with positive words into the audience.

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And, of course, you can’t go to a drag show and not get a picture with one of the performers, preferably one with lots of titties hanging out. This queen makes me look so drab in comparison (that’s how you know she is a good one!).

For your viewing pleasure, I have also included a couple videos that I took of the performances. The first one is a queen performing Lady Gaga. The second one is of a queen performing a Beyonce mashup. While these queens don’t seem to do drag very professionally, their dance moves are amazing and the hard work they put in to coordinate this is just amazing.

 

 

Finally, I want to tell you a story about progress. There is a huge movement working toward getting rid of the gender binary and raising awareness that not everyone fits into “I’m a female who likes males” and “I’m a male who likes females”. One of the issues involved here is how public restrooms are set up – usually a men’s restroom with urinals and a women’s without urinals. Last night, the restroom designations were covered with a piece of paper that said “gender inclusive bathroom”. Originally, I went into what was the women’s restroom and there was a line of like 30 people, so I turned around and trotted over to the men’s restroom. There I was, waiting in line to use a toilet, standing next to some guy at a urinal. That was interesting, but okay. There are some kinks that will need worked out if this is to gain popularity, like having a trash receptacle in each stall, but that isn’t hard to put into practice. Just knowing that everyone is okay with the bathroom situation is progress in and of itself, even if the attendees of this event are more forward-thinking than the general population [probably] is, is progress.

Ever been to a drag show? Would you go in the future? Have you ever dressed up and/or performed in drag? 

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Is it Cheating if it’s his Guy Friend?

24 Jun

After my old blog site started going downhill, a Facebook group was made so that everyone can be in touch while we all figure out what is next.

In that group, a woman posted the following:

I’m doing a survey: how many of you think cheating is flirting, mentally, emotionally, physically?

How many of you think cheating is just vaginal/penal/oral sex?

Please elaborate

Valid question. It’s something that differs between all people, because what is okay and what is not okay is different for all people. I find that those people who have been cheated on are especially rigid in their views, but of course, they’ve been hurt.

No one likes being hurt.

I hold to my guns that there are many gray areas involved with cheating, but we all know that’s my MO about everything. And before you get riled up, let me explain.

Person has sex with other person, but it was emotionally meaningless. While that person might not think it was a big deal because they don’t “love them”, he/she should still know that this would hurt the significant other, and should not want to hurt the person he/she loves. And thus, the significant other was hurt and feels unloved.

I would feel solace knowing that my significant other didn’t love the other person, but I would also feel unloved, because he knew it would hurt me. If he didn’t know that, we shouldn’t be together. Unfortunately, this could be a gray area…obviously not for me because I would never sleep around like that, but for some.

Person flirts with other person, but doesn’t realize he/she is flirting. Other person starts flirting back. Significant other sees this, and sees intent and a developing relationship.

This is another gray area, because some people are just naturally charming and flirty. Even being a gentleman could be considered flirting, or that care giving nature. But if that’s just who you are and you weren’t intentionally flirting or coming on to someone, I don’t consider that cheating. At the same time, intentional flirting is a no-no. Telling the difference is hard.

But, back to my title question. Emotional cheating is often considered the worst, or at least just as bad, as physical cheating. I’ll leave that up for you to decide. What I want to know is if the sex and sexuality of the people in question matters as far as emotional cheating is concerned.

Take this example: Person A is in a relationship with Person B, and is good friends with Person C. A and B have been arguing a lot lately, but they both still love each other very much. Person A needs someone to vent to one night about the workplace and about the arguments with Person B, and really, just life. Person C is A’s closest friend, so they hang out. Person A vents, while C listens intently. 

Months go on, and Person A seems to be going to Person C to vent a lot more than Person B, who A should probably be going to.

Case and point: emotional cheating.

Let’s say A is a heterosexual man, and B and C are heterosexual women. Cheating?

Let’s say A is a heterosexual man, B is a woman, and C is a heterosexual man. Cheating?

How about if A is a heterosexual woman, B is a man, and C is a heterosexual woman?

What if A is a heterosexual woman, and B and C are heterosexual men? Cheating?

What if A is a bisexual man or woman, and C is a homosexual same or opposite? Cheating?

What do you think about these situations? Is your gut telling you they are different? Why? Are they really different? 

Why I Don’t Use the Term African-American

8 May

 

As I sat here watching TV, potentially blogging or studying, I heard a recount of someone’s interaction with a criminal. When the investigator asked them for a physical description, the person replied that they looked European. That caught my attention.

How do you look European?

And for that matter, why do we call black people African-American or Hispanic people Mexican or Mexican-American?

First, there are so many countries in Europe, and such a variety of people, that I don’t think someone can look European, just like I don’t think its possible to look American. Then, there is the term African-American. I’ve had several discussions about the term, and some people prefer to be called African-American, some prefer to be called black, and others prefer whatever comes naturally. I hear its also “politically correct”.

I don’t like it. I don’t use it. The people we usually refer to as African-American aren’t actually from Africa; They are from the United States.  The people who are from Africa, aren’t necessarily black, either. Ever seen The Color of Friendship? The girl gets a foreign exchange student from Africa, who ends up being white, much to the dismay of the host sister. For all we know, the child on the left in the picture was born in the US, and the child on the right was born in Africa. The same goes with the term Mexican, or Mexican-American. I am not from Mexico. My grandparents were, yes, but I amnot. The only people who should rightfully be called Mexican are people who live in Mexico, and the only people who should rightfully be called Mexican-American are people who have moved from Mexico to the US (even though Mexico is part of America – I’ll not discuss this now). Future note – don’t call me Mexican, I prefer Hispanic (I’m actually a halfer, so I prefer to be called a halfer, but whatever).

Another point I’d like to make is on the use of the terms ‘black’ and ‘white’. Another situation I was overhearing or reading (I don’t remember) involved a father telling someone about a person – lets say Joe. The person the father was talking to didn’t remember who Joe was, so the father said something along the lines of “the black man that was over here the other day” to which the person became somewhat offended, and asked why it was necessary to say ‘the black man’ and that it was racist.

My theory on this is that it all depends on the context and variety of company of which normally visits the household. If the family normally has non-black visitors, then it would be easiest to say that Joe was the black visitor. If a family normally has black visitors, it would be just as easy to say Joe was the white visitor (assuming that Joe was white). Its a means to contrast the normal with the novel. If there were multiple races of visitors, however, it would become necessary to use other means. Say there are two black men, two white men, and two hispanic men visiting. It wouldn’t make sense to say that Joe was the black visitor, because that doesn’t help the person understand who Joe is. This is when you would say Joe was the tall oneJoe was the short one, or Joe was the really skinny one. Its just the same as if Joe was actually a woman, when most visitors are men. It is acceptable to say “she was the woman”, so why would it not be acceptable to say that “he was the black man”?

Which terms do you use? Do you have a preference for what people refer to you as? Do you agree with me about the use of contrast when describing people?