Tag Archives: gay

The Day “Gay Marriage” Became “Marriage”

26 Jun

Today is a day that will be written into the history books.

Those of us advocating for LGBT rights have long been looking for the legalization of gay marriage. It is so obviously a denial of basic rights, and is so tangible, that it has been the forerunner for civil rights denied by the LGBT community. Today, it became not something to fight for, but a door that has now opened. Because anyone can be married now regardless of sex, gender, or orientation, “gay marriage” is now just “marriage. And that is something to be excited about!

We took this away from those who have used it as a backbone to their arguments that LGBT people are apparently different than everyone else. Now, we can use this momentum to tear down other barriers to things like adoption, life saving blood donations, and instead of tolerance we can seek acceptance. A same-sex married couple doesn’t have any influence on anyone’s lives but there own, so what is there to tolerate? Nothing. Because everyone should be accepting.

The ruling by the Supreme Court of the United States today, wasn’t a landslide movement, however. Four of the nine members voted against it, and while their reasons are their own, it is hard to say why. These 4 people are holding that their reasons for voting against it was because it was unconstitutional to take away the rights of individual states to decide their own laws. It is hard for me to accept that this is their reason for voting against it.

Considering that in Loving v. Virginia the decision was unanimous, we still have a long way to go. I find it very interesting that in that supreme court ruling, that marriage was a “fundamental freedom”, and that the “freedom to marry or not marry…resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the state” while citing the 14th amendment of the constitution lends me to believe that the 4 dissents were of no result of the constitution, but of simple bigotry.

Section 1 of Amendment XIV states:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

 

Sounds to me as though yes, the states screwed up. Yes, due process of law landed this issue in the supreme court. And YES, those states were denying the rights of their citizens, which is unconstitutional, and why no, today’s landmark decision is NOT unconstitutional. These 4 folks just found themselves on the wrong side of history.

Yay history!! Now my coworker can adopt another pet and her wife will be able to easily divorce her.

 

Dissents of the 4 supreme court justices.
Text of Amendment XIV.
And a really awesomely done video about it all.

 

Please, if you feel as though I got it wrong, I would love to hear your comments as I’m not a lawyer nor a judge (or any expert in the law, for that matter). Make sure you include reference material, though, because I don’t need a bunch of bigoted bullshit cluttering up my space. 

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So You Think You Can Sashay? Drag 2013

20 Oct

It’s no secret that I’m a big proponent of equal rights, and that I love the gay community with all my heart. Forever an ally! Each year I try to make it to the drag show, but usually I only make it in the spring. Last night, I went to the fall drag show and there were some amazing, fabulous performers!

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Michelle squared! Got our tickets ahead of time!

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Drag wouldn’t be drag without loads of glitter. So You Think You Can Sashay? Was this year’s “theme”.

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I’ve been to the drag show for about 4 years now, and this year there was a much larger population of women dressed in drag as men than I’ve seen. There was even a boy band toward the end.

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Another woman dressed a man – Pit Bull, in this particular performance.

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Words can’t even describe. This queen was a fabulous performer.

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As was this queen. She was the closing act, and her message was powerful. She opened with all the words and hateful things people are bullied with and told when they don’t fit into the cookie cutter shapes that the community seems to want everyone to be. Then, she sang Brave by Sara Bareilles and threw cards written with positive words into the audience.

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And, of course, you can’t go to a drag show and not get a picture with one of the performers, preferably one with lots of titties hanging out. This queen makes me look so drab in comparison (that’s how you know she is a good one!).

For your viewing pleasure, I have also included a couple videos that I took of the performances. The first one is a queen performing Lady Gaga. The second one is of a queen performing a Beyonce mashup. While these queens don’t seem to do drag very professionally, their dance moves are amazing and the hard work they put in to coordinate this is just amazing.

 

 

Finally, I want to tell you a story about progress. There is a huge movement working toward getting rid of the gender binary and raising awareness that not everyone fits into “I’m a female who likes males” and “I’m a male who likes females”. One of the issues involved here is how public restrooms are set up – usually a men’s restroom with urinals and a women’s without urinals. Last night, the restroom designations were covered with a piece of paper that said “gender inclusive bathroom”. Originally, I went into what was the women’s restroom and there was a line of like 30 people, so I turned around and trotted over to the men’s restroom. There I was, waiting in line to use a toilet, standing next to some guy at a urinal. That was interesting, but okay. There are some kinks that will need worked out if this is to gain popularity, like having a trash receptacle in each stall, but that isn’t hard to put into practice. Just knowing that everyone is okay with the bathroom situation is progress in and of itself, even if the attendees of this event are more forward-thinking than the general population [probably] is, is progress.

Ever been to a drag show? Would you go in the future? Have you ever dressed up and/or performed in drag? 

Video

What if the Gay/Straight Roles were Reversed?

24 Jun

So, You’re Not Aborting Your Gay Baby…

16 Jun

First and foremost, I apologize for the horrific and very literal title. I’m not feeling very inspired today.

Now, to the point.

Generally, pro-life people tend to be conservative. Those who oppose marriage equality also tend to be conservative. This isn’t a new thought, or an original one, but would you still support the pregnancy if you knew that the child would be gay?

And how can one support this child be brought into a world, but then deny them such a basic right?

Or. How can a person support bringing a child into life, with the possibility that they will kill themselves, simply because they are gay and the same people that called for them to be born are those who treat them with hate, make fun of them in school, bully them, and deny them the right to be with the person they love the most in this world?

No. All the 30-somethings, 40-somethings, and 50-somethings who are of this mindset aren’t bullying babies being born here and now, but they are raising their children to. Each bully has a parent, and children pick up so easily the beliefs of their parents, that whether you are a homophobe or simply someone who believes in “the sanctity of marriage”, it translates to the same thing.

They are them, and I am us. That makes us different. Different isn’t good.

So, when a gay child or teenager or adult kills themselves, how do you justify all the hate and all the intolerance?

Were they sinners? Is that it? Now they will answer to God.

Or was it selfish? Not only did they make a poor life choice, but they tried to get us to be okay with such an abomination, and then they tried to kill themselves with no regard of their families?

So, conservative folks…which is it? Keep in mind, I’m not saying all conservatives are pro-life and anti-gay rights, and I’m not saying all pro-life and anti-gay rights folks are conservative. I’m just saying that those two things are often the political beliefs held by the same person, but that in practice they seem conflicting.

Do you think these views are conflicting? What is your response to what I wrote?

What I Love About Drag Shows

5 Jun

I know they aren’t for everyone, but I absolutely love drag shows.

The performances are amazing and the drag queens look fabulous, but the thing I love the most is the sexual energy.

It’s free.

Men dressed as women and women dressed as men and men dressed as men and women dressed as women…it’s pure sexual energy and attraction and it flows so freely because its impossible to focus it.

All the gender roles and norms and sexual orientations that everyone is so concerned about upholding just melt away.

Have you ever been to a drag show? What is your favorite part?

Blurring the Lines of Sexuality

15 Aug

Its already hard enough to find a mate as it is. At least for me, anyway. I can’t imagine its very easy for a gay person in a small town either. The pickings are low.

As we come to understand sexuality in humans more, and wish to ostracize various sexualities less, the lines continue to blur. That’s how human sexuality works, so the better we understand that, the better it is for everyone, but at some point, finding a mate would become nearly impossible.

The reason I bring this up is because of my relationship with Glee. Yes, Glee. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. And if you are currently judging me because I love Glee, well…I REGRET NOTHING!!!!

On Glee, the cast did a Born This Way cover in which they all wore shirts that said something about who they are. Kurt, a very obviously gay boy, wore a shirt that said “Likes Boys”. I’m absolutely in love with it, but it doesn’t have the same effect if I wore a shirt that said that. This led me to want to wear a shirt that says “Likes Girls”, but I can’t…because I don’t like girls. Apparently, I think a little bit like the actress who plays Quinn, because in a later live performance (or in public, or something) she donned the same shirt that says “Likes Girls”. The fandom blew up with talk about her being a lesbian, and about how no one had any idea.

Well, she doesn’t like girls. She likes boys. Cue mass confusion.

Here is the problem. If I wear a shirt that says “Likes Girls”, it would lead people to believe I’m a lesbian. With it being so difficult already to find a significant other, it doesn’t seem fair to me to broadcast to all the women looking for a potential girlfriend that I like girls, when I actually don’t. Not to mention it would make my own search more difficult, because then I would be off-limits to men. But wearing a “Likes Boys” shirt is on the verge of being like one of those screen tees that says thing like “hot” and “bad girl” (translation: tacky).

I still really want a version of the Lebanese shirt that Santana wears, as its an inside joke I’d likely have to explain.

Am I just thinking way too much into my clothing options? Is it fair to falsely advertise like this? Would you wear the shirt?

The Ability of Gay People to be Good Parents

27 Jun

I just finished reading a blog, that I would like to talk a little more about. Just a little. You can find the blog here.

First and foremost, let me say that I enjoyed reading it. It wasn’t aimed to be condescending or attacking anyone (at least as far as I could see). This makes it very easy to discuss rationally, which I appreciate greatly. The point of it? That when two people of opposing opinions discuss a topic, they should stay clear of attacking one another when both sides treat each other civilly. I agree.

The comments on it, while I did not read all of them, also seemed to be genuinely civil. I’m sure as I typed my response, they became increasingly unwieldy as they usually do, but thats besides the point. As I was reading them, the writer clarified that he supports neither gay marriage, nor gay adoption, but that he was still close friends with someone who is gay. His reasoning was that gay marriage and gay adoption lack in areas that are necessary for a healthy child and marriage.

Lets talk about that. I know that there are usually other reasons, but lets just talk about this one.

First, I don’t believe that any evidence on this matter is legitimate or substantial enough to warrant the removal of rights of marriage and adoption. Lets assume, for arguments sake, that it is. This would mean that any family situation that would prove unfit for a child at some point in the future would be denied the ability to be married or to adopt. The unfortunate part, however, is that there are so many types of family situations outside of the nuclear family that it would be a tall order to analyze all of them. Single parent households would be especially difficult, considering the parent isn’t married. The only thing we would be able to do is take their child away and not allow them to adopt. No single person, then, would be able to adopt.

This also brings up another point I think is important to understand. Just because two people love each other and want to get married does not mean they want to have children. I don’t want to have children at any point in my life, but I do want to get married to someone I love. Should we look so far in advance that we deny someone the right to get married, even if they might never want to have children? And at that, there is also the argument that marriage is a means of procreation. That means not only should you not be allowed to get married because you will be an unfit parent, but also because you don’t want children.

I would like to put forth an example – the same example I used in reply to the blog – to illustrate how wide the effects of this reasoning could stretch. I used drinking. It seems really unrelated(ish), I know. For this example, I want to assume that this fictional person is an unmarried and single alcoholic, whose problem only affects her personal life (they maintain a job without error, pay their bills, etc). So what grounds should we remove her marriage rights? If we assume she doesn’t want children, she automatically can’t get married (at least according to the far reaches of this blog post). But lets assume she does want children. Lets say we decide alcoholics are unfit parents. We then take away her rights to get married. This can, unfortunately, be applied to a vast number of lifestyles.

I would also like to say that we have an entire agency devoted to protecting children. Mental and physical abuse and neglect are handled by these people. Along with the help of our legal system, these people make the judgement call. They decide who is an unfit parent. I think we should leave it in their hands, not in our own to make judgement calls too far in advance to even know if a couple will have children. If a gay couple, for whatever reason, emotionally neglects their child, then by all means take their child away and give it to a home that can love it, but don’t condemn them for what can only be a speculation by not allowing them to even get married.

Now, lets talk about the legitimacy of an argument that homosexual parents do not have the ability to provide a healthy home for their children. I can’t say that I’m certain what this encompasses. I can’t say for certain that this “evidence” is actually even credited. What I can say is every family dynamic is different, and all of them pose different problems. Many children who come from divorced or single parents think that marriage is nonsense and unnecessary. Children who come from extended family living situations are likely to have closer ties with family than those who come from a nuclear family. Children who have gay parents might have more open minds about homosexuality. Everyone has different experiences because of who their parents are and how they are raised, and its just something that we come to terms with and hopefully make us better people in the end.

Do you think this is a legitimate argument? Should we extend the illegalization of marriage from homosexuals to others who might be consider unfit parents?