Tag Archives: future

The Scariest Thing in the World

8 Feb

Me? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.

 

I think Baby got it right when she said this in Dirty Dancing.

My future right now is so uncertain, in all aspects of my life – my job, housing, school…love. And with that uncertainty comes fear. I’m afraid. I hate not knowing whats to come because when I don’t know whats coming, I just imagine the worst.

That fear that she describes is a feeling of uncertainty and it’s one that I know too well. I hate it so much, and it runs so deep that it’s all-consuming. If someone told me right now, with absolution, that this fear was reality, I don’t know how I could bear it.

Whats the scariest thing in the world? Have you shares Baby’s fear?

Advertisements

My Decision to Postpone College

28 Aug


When I was in 3rd grade, I made a decision that affected the rest of my life. I decided, at the ripe old age of 9, that I was going to pursue veterinary medicine as my career. To this day, that has remained my goal.

I finally finished classes for my bachelors degree, but that isn’t even close to my goal. At this point, I still have 6 years of college ahead of me, as I am going to get my vet tech certificate before going to vet school.

Originally I planned on beginning at the local community college in the fall following the completion of my bachelors, but that ended up being pushed back to the spring. In retrospect, I think that was the better decision – after being in school for 18 years, a break is inviting and welcome.

And that brings me to the present. I’ve reached a point at my current job at which I find myself unable to advance or grow, and that is, in a word…unfortunate. The unfortunate part of it all is that I don’t feel as though I am done with my non-profit job. I like the work we do, but I can’t handle another year if scooping poop and scrubbing floors.

Call me conceited, but I think I’ve paid my dues.

But, because of my decision to go back to school, I can’t work any other position at my current company.

That is why I have decided to wait until next fall to continue my education.

First, if I get the position I am applying for, I will have the opportunity to work hand-in-hand with a certified dog behaviorist. That isn’t an opportunity that comes around every day.

Second, I need a break. I need to want to study. I need to miss the knowledge.

And finally, I need to be a young adult for a while. All I have known is barely scraping by because I am going to school full time and working the rest of the time just to be able to pay bills. I want to enjoy being on my own, and being an adult, and being a 20-something while I am still a 20-something. When I finish college, I will be about 31. That’s too old to not have had some life me time.

What do you think of my decision? Are my reasons valid? What has your experience with school and your career been?