Tag Archives: friend

The [True] Value of Friendship

29 Apr

Friendship is something I value greatly, but I’ve found as I’ve developed and lost friendships, that not everyone feels as strongly about friends as I do.

Recently, I had a bit of a falling out with a friend. Something inside of me is holding back from relaying all the nasty little details, so I won’t indulge, but really…it sucks! One should always surround themselves with positive energy and good people, so it isn’t unusual for me to stop being friends with people who bring me down, but I feel like when I say that, most people think that I mustn’t value friendship at all. That isn’t accurate in the slightest, though. It’s actually extremely painful to lose a friend, and no matter how mad I am at someone, or what they did, I always relish in the fun times that we’ve had together. Honestly, I wish I never had to deal with friends being…unfriendly…because it hurts, and I hate it, and I just want things to go back to being happy.

There is one thing I’ve found with every friend-problem I’ve ever had that just isn’t fair. The other friend never admits fault. I’ve always been the one to break the ice, and go in, and usually apologize for not talking to them or being mad or whatever it may be.  Okay…that’s a lie. I had one friend admit that she was acting poorly to me.

Regardless, it’s just not fair. And no…life isn’t fair, but I don’t want to lose a friend just because I want them to want to be my friend, but they won’t take the steps to make that happen.

That’s what it comes down to: they don’t want to be my friend, or rather, they don’t need to be my friend.

Every friend I have is a jewel in their own right. They come with their own set of rules that makes them them. And yes, I generally hand-pick my friends because I want to surround myself with good people and good influences. Any one of these friends means the world to me, and I don’t have a lot of investment in anything else: I don’t have a best friend and I don’t have a significant other, so each friend is massively important to me.

Unfortunately, I think that is the problem.

While I consider my friends so important and I want to keep each and every one of them, my friends don’t consider me as such. Or some of them, at least. That has to be the reason why friends don’t come to me and apologize. We all have those friends who have a million friends and/or acquaintances, and they have a best friend, and they have a significant other…and they don’t need you to be friends with them, so they don’t try and they don’t care, and if they do something wrong…whatever.

These friends don’t apologize, and it makes me feel so dispensable. That’s really all I want, is for my friends to consider me as important to them as they are to me. I know I’m not the only one with this problem – I’ve talk to some folks who are feeling the exact same way.

Unfortunately, some people value friendship much more than others, and that makes me sad.

Do you ever feel like you are dispensable to your friends? What do you do when you miss being friends with someone, but don’t want to have to be the one to break the ice again? What are your most common friendship issues?

The Territoriality of the Female Homosapien

14 Oct

This is a topic I’ve wanted to write about for quite some time, but for whatever reason the words just don’t seem to come like I want them to.

The idea first struck me when within a week a few months ago, I had heard it spoken and talked about in three different mediums. One of them was actually Girl Code, a show on MTV that is quite entertaining and often enough relateable.

So what am I actually talking about? Territoriality, specifically of women over their male friends. We’ve all been there…at least I know I have. When I was in high school, and really even up to this day, I struggled frequently with accepting any girl that my best friend liked. She was either not pretty enough, not nice enough, not right enough. I think we often use the excuse that we just want what’s best for our best friend, and in our eyes, nothing short of perfect is good enough for our perfect bestie, but it’s just an excuse. We do want the best, of course, but really, we want him for ourselves, even if we have him forever friend-zoned.

Just think about it. A new girl means your best guy friend isn’t spending as much time with you as he used to. It’s even worse if you are single.

And that’s when we start getting catty. To him, to her. And we make excuses, and sometimes even go as far as breaking them up.

But it isn’t our place. Yes, friends are important. Yes, we care about them and want whats best. And yes, sometimes that isn’t us, because significant others are important, too.

Really, there is room for both significant others and friends. No need to get catty, ladies.

Can you think of a time when you were territorial over a guy friend? How do you deal with it? Do you become catty? Why do you think girls do this, and do you think men do this with their best female friends?

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Person I’ve Drifted Away From

25 Jun

Dear Person I’ve Drifted Away From,

It’s strange how even if I don’t talk to you for months, the second I see you again it feels like we’ve spent every day together.

I think its because I know you think of me, and I think of you…and that’s the mark of true friendship. Life is busy, really, and so we don’t get a chance to talk…but every time you drunk dial me it’s because you are thinking of me.

I don’t mind the drunk dials. That’s the side of you that I know exists, but that you keep hidden so well that most others don’t.

I still hope you’ll move here, and we can be best friends again. I really like having one person in my life who I can hang out with every day if I so desire, and you are one of those people.

Keep in mind, that while we don’t chat as often as we should, and I rarely see you, that you can always confide in me, and look to me in your time of need.

You’re awesome. Never forget that.

Always, Me

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Person I Hate

23 Jun

Dear Person I Hate,

Some say “hate” is a strong word, but you need a strong for for strong feelings.

We had some of the best times when we were friends, but you just couldn’t let me be happy. Hell, you couldn’t let yourself be happy, so I guess I shouldn’t expect anything of it.

You’re manipulative, self-destructive, and really…you are just a terrible person. Not a good person that just isn’t nice sometimes…terrible.

You’ve judged me, you’ve told me I was going to hell, you’ve accused me of trying to steal your boyfriend…and all I’ve done throughout all of it was try to stick by your side and help you through the rough times.

Well, there comes a day when it just isn’t good enough, and finally, I did what was best for me. I don’t wish you the best of luck and I don’t wish you happiness. The first two times we stopped being friends should have been enough for me to realize that you are toxic, but they weren’t. That’s my fault, unfortunately. But never, ever will we be friends again.

Not after the way you treat yourself and everyone around you.

Always, Me

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Fave Interwebs Friend

19 Jun

Dear Face Interwebs Friend,

Jeez, do we have an interesting friendship or what?

Lets see, its been 11 years since I met you and we text quite frequently, yet we’ve only talked on the phone…2, 3 times?…and we’ve never met.

I’ll be honest, after talking to you for 11 years the thought of actually meeting you is terrifying. Expectations are so big, that I don’t think even the strongest person in the world could hold them up.

I had hoped I could suggest a vacation here so we could meet, but apparently Colorado is a dumb place to vacation (really…who says that?).

Some days, like all friendships, I just want to push you down, but then other days I need you. You can be so supportive, and knowing that you appreciate hearing from me usually just makes my day, regardless of how the rest of the conversation goes.

I don’t have a whole lot to say now. I think you’ve heard it all. Whatever happens, I wish you the best, and I’m always just a text away. Hopefully you find the woman of your dreams that I know you’ve been searching long and hard for, and I hope you come to a peaceful place within yourself so that you can succeed at whatever it is you set your heart to.

Take care.

Always, Me

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Bestie

12 Jun

To introduce what I’m doing before I just jump in…there are various “30 Day Challenges” running amuck around the interwebs. One of them, as introduced to me by a subscriber/friend/blogger I follow, is a letter challenge. Basically, you just post a letter each day to the person dictated by the challenge list. So, here we go. I hope you enjoy reading. I think this might be as raw as my writing gets, so it might not make much sense, but I suppose that’s how my brain flows.

 

Dear Bestie,

We haven’t always been best friends, and I’m not sure if you even consider me your best friend, but at this point in my life you are definitely my best friend.

I’ve actually been afraid to label it that for a long time, but I don’t know why. Seems silly.

You are there for me through thick and thin, and you’ve always been so supportive of me. I can only hope that I have been supportive of you, and that I’ve been able to match your niceness and generosity.

No one else has made such attempts to stay in contact with me. I so wish you would move to Fort Collins; you would love it here.

Remember all the nights we would “break in” to old houses trying to scare ourselves? Or the nights we would drive up and down 6th street for hours, some times dancing like fools?

What about the time we didn’t talk to each other for 2 weeks? I’m so glad that we pulled through that, because it is not something I would have wanted to look back on and regretted. It was really stupid of us.

But we made it. I look forward in the future and see you living only an hour away, so that we can hang out whenever we want. I see friend dates and cooking parties and card nights. Definitely card nights.

Hopefully, I’ll see you soon. I miss you so much!!

Always, Me