Tag Archives: fighting

Dating an Introvert – Conflict

9 Jun

It’s no news that I’m an introvert. I mean, come on, I spend hours of my life alone, on my computer, writing. This can’t be a surprise.

So, to continue with yesterday’s dating theme, I was reading through some stuff on being an introvert and how to deal with us. A lot of the information hits the mark – like how you should not constantly ask us what’s wrong because we are quiet – but I found one little blurp in an article that really hit close to home.

It was about conflict.

[…] you might find yourself revisiting an argument from three days ago as if it were still fresh. It IS fresh – to an introvert.

I feel a little more at peace knowing that I’m not the only one who this is true for. I don’t mean to bring up an argument days later, but to me, the time in between has been spent cultivating my ideas about whatever it is I am arguing about, figuring out the most logical way to deal with the situation, and how to go about discussing it without getting mean.

Really, when I bring it up again, it’s to actually discuss the problem, come to a solution, and be happy with that solution.

And I’m a firm believer in not arguing while angry. So sue me. Here is the original, full text from the website (on the subject of conflict):

Conflict

Pros: Chances are that an introvert’s response to conflict, while slow in coming, will be a thoughtful one.

Cons: If you need to work out something right away, good luck. Introverts tend to need time for processing information before responding, so you might find yourself revisiting an argument from three days ago as if it were still fresh. It IS fresh — to an introvert.

Red Flag: Healthy arguments play a natural part in any relationship, but they require gaining closure of some sort for both parties. If you’re not careful and insistent on settling conflicts, nothing ever gets resolved… which can lead to resentment and distrust

You can read the full article, Tips for Dating an Introvert here.

Ever dated an introvert (or are you an introvert)? Have you ever found yourself doing this? How do you feel when your significant other brings up the topic of an argument days later?

How Easily Do You Lose Respect?

22 Apr

Respect is kind of like trust. You have to earn it, and to keep it, you have to do respect-worthy things.

A friend of mine, Audrey*, recently told me she lost respect for a guy I know, Damian, because he punched (or was about to punch – I wasn’t there, and I don’t remember the details she relayed to me) a guy who was friends with his current girlfriend, Olivia. I can imagine it was because either this friend was being disrespectful of Olivia, or because Damian felt threatened (I’m pretty sure its the latter).  I can say that Damian is usually a stand up guy, and very nice, but I also know that Damian intended to kick some butt. I’m not sure how I feel about the situation. It doesn’t directly involve me, so my feelings are mixed and I’m pretty indifferent about the whole thing.

How do you feel about physical fighting? Would you lose respect for someone in Damian’s position? What are some things that you consider bottom line, respect-losing actions?

 

*All names have been changed.