Tag Archives: feminism

Adult? Myth.

9 Apr

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Just today, I sat down to my computer and I saw the above picture was on my Facebook feed, provided by a really great woman I’m friends with. Despite its simple assemblage of words, it was meant to be provocative. While I concur, I really doubt that the thoughts it has provoked in my mind are quite what was meant when someone taped that piece of paper to that window.

My first thought kind of bypassed everything and while I don’t consider myself someone who exploits men sexually, I do find that I’m just as distracted by attractive men as men are by attractive women.

Once I posted my self-designated “awkward comment”, I started to realize that more than a glance was needed to decipher this piece of paper.

Right away we are setting ourselves up to believe that this male-stereotype is true, and perpetuating ill-will toward men. All the while, the author sets us up to feel that women are seen as sub-human and sexually exploited.

I feel sad for woman-kind if I’m in the minority with this sentiment, but I’ve never thought to myself Michelle…that person is trying to sexually exploit you. Ever. I’ve never felt sub-human, either.

The same women who tell me that feminism isn’t about man-bashing (when I tell them I’m not a feminist, I’m an equalist) are just perpetuating the belief that all men want sex and only sex. These same women are telling us, via this picture, that men never get slack about their bodies.

While I wish someone on this fair planet could say no one has ever had a problem with their body, it just isn’t true. Let me tell you a quick story from 7th grade…

Once upon a time, I was sitting in class with my less-than-favorite teacher and a classroom full of other 7th graders. A boy in my class was wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves cut-off. It looked a little something like this:

Unfortunately for him, guns were against school policy in more ways than one, so he was told he needed to change. Much to everyone’s surprise, when the horrible witch secretary told him this, he retaliated. You see, she, too had the guns out that day. Her shirt looked a tad like this:

Unfortunately, no one listens to a 7th grader’s logic, so even though what he said made SO much sense, he had to change anyway. She didn’t have a good response, other than she was a woman and he was a boy. 

Catch my drift? And if you still don’t believe that men are sexualized then go to Google and drool over some male underwear models.

Once you’re done with that…see what I did there? Drool. Degrading men with my eyes again. Case and point – just stop with this “men never…women always…” or “men always…women never…” stuff. It isn’t making the case for feminism any better because nothing is 100%.

Now that I’ve made that point, I always felt provoked to tell you about sex. Not in the birds and the bees kind of way…but in the I’m-a-sexual-creature-and-I’m-okay-with-that kind of way. Humans. We are all about the sex. I’m an intensely sexual being and so are you. We look and we enjoy. We indulge. For some reason, we are stuck on this whole idea that it is okay for me to look at a man without a shirt on and ogle but it isn’t okay to ogle at a girl who is (I can only assume based on this picture) working out in revealing clothing (sports bra and short-shorts, perhaps?). You might read that and say…”well, that isn’t true at all!” but yes, yes it is. We hide it by the fact that we say we don’t consider men as visually stimulating sexually as we do women, but that is just a huge lie.

I’ll save my rape culture rant for a different day, because this is already a pretty hefty blog. That brings my to my final point, which is the namesake for this blog…

The definition of an adult is fictional. The author of this provocative speech on a piece of paper on a window is speaking of sexualizing young girls, but just as I am a sexual being now, I was a sexual being at the age of 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. The only difference between my at 13 and me at 25 lies in the fact that I now have to buy my own food and pay bills, along with some actual hard and fast sexual experience I found along the way. My pattern of speech may be more polished now, but had I not been probably too-logical about love and lust at such a young age, I would have totally gotten it on with anyone. Middleschoolers. Highschoolers. College guys. They were all super-sexy and I lusted after all of them. If our government didn’t have this arbitrary line that says you’re an adult at 18 (ish), I firmly believe that people would reach “adulthood” at their own paces. There is precedence for 13 and 14 year old girls getting married off, and while I bet they would have liked more say in the matter of who, I could say that I knew who I was and what I wanted at that age.

We get jaded as we get older. The bills and the work and having to wear pants…it screws with us. We forget that we have been horny over-sexualized little beings since we hit puberty. 10 years later, friends can’t tell the difference between pictures of me now and pictures of me at 15, and what does that tell you? That sexualizing me now is also sexualizing me at 15, which is apparently wrong? I can’t say on good conscience that finding a 16 year old girl physically attractive is wrong. The only thing that could be wrong is what happens next.

Do you firmly believe I’m crazy yet? How do you feel about that simple, yet extremely provocative sign? Adulthood…do you think its a myth? Why must we put men down in order to bring women up?

Free-Boobing

26 Apr

As I was driving the other day, I saw a man walking down the street without a shirt. Not that unusual of a sight, right?

It made me think about the desire of some women to want to be able to walk around without a shirt and bra, just like men can. It’s just not fair that we have to cover our nipples, while men just get to let the sun and wind wash over theirs.

But who are these women who want to run around bare-breasted?

I would never feel comfortable enough to walk around without a shirt or bra on, and I don’t know if I’ve met a woman who would. So who are all of these women who we are “fighting” for, if no women want to walk around bare-breasted? I guess it really isn’t that simple, because while our current generation may not want to walk around like this, if we developed an acceptance for it, our daughters and grand-daughters might just be comfortable enough to do it regularly.

If we are trying to solve this problem (and believe me when I say that I’m not ready to fight for this one), we have to get to the root of why its a problem in the first place. The only reason I’ve gathered that women aren’t able to go topless is because boobs are considered organs related to sexual gratification. Here’s my problem with that argument:

Aside from the poor quality of this picture, and the fact that it was taken via a mirror…mmmm. A nice, normal looking fellow that just might be walking down the street without a shirt on on a hot day.  And you are going to sit here and tell me that this is any less sexual than a woman with boobs? No way. When I see some attractive fellows hanging out without a shirt on, my mind instantly moves to how much I want to put my hands all over that.

Maybe men should have to wear shirts all the time, too. Then women won’t have anything to complain about. Because I really, really don’t want to see women walking around without a top on. I can barely deal with women who aren’t wearing a bra, let alone neither a shirt nor a bra. Uncomfortable.

Or, if that just isn’t enough hair for you, here’s some more, along with some bulge action:

And just in case that’s a little too much hair for your liking, or not ripped enough, here you go:

You’re welcome.

What do you think about the women-need-to-go-topless-like-men problem? Would you ever do this walking down the street? Do you know any woman who would? Is the basis for the argument really just to be equal to men, and if so, why shouldn’t we just say men have to be equal to us? Do you care either way?

 

 

Why I Hate the “P” Word

7 Jun

There are lots of ‘p’ words, and it just happens that most of the words I dislike begin with the letter ‘p’, but lets focus on just one right now: pussy.

First of all, I sound absolutely ridiculous saying it. Unless I get into character like I do when I say pretty much anything jokingly – fa real!?, Oh, hell nah!, I’s gon whoop some ass! – it just sounds dumb.

That aside, I want everyone to take a second to think about what calling someone a “pussy” is implying.

If you are a women, you are basically telling someone they are acting the equivalent of…well…a woman.

With all this equal rights for the sexes talk, shouldn’t we stop using words that are derogatory to women, especially if we are women? It’s even worse when feminists start throwing this word around. It completely baffles me.

If you are a man, you are basically telling someone they are acting the equivalent of…well…a woman.

This is demeaning to women.

I suppose you could argue with me about it’s connotation in reference to the “scaredy-cat” but really, I haven’t heard anyone but awkwardly-aged children use the ‘p’ word in relationship to cats.

And anyway…what exactly does a “pussy” act like? Moist? Conforming? Hairy? To be completely honest, I’ve always just thought of them as stationary, inanimate objects that don’t act like anything. Maybe I’m in the minority here.

What do you think of the word ‘pussy’? What other ‘p’ words would you venture to guess that I don’t like? What are some of your least favorite words?

Sexism and Equal Rights for Men

21 Aug

 

When people fantasize about equal rights, the conversation is usually surrounded by talk of feminism and all the things women don’t get but should. I don’t disagree that women should be paid the same amount as men. The right to vote and to work and wear pants are all great things, also, but I’d like to talk about something else. I’d like to talk about masculism.

I’m new to the words that surround this topic, but from my limited understand I’ve gathered that masculism is the belief that equality of the sexes requires work to be done to stop prejudice and discrimination toward both sexes. The view that men should be held higher than women, or anti-feminist views, are termed as masculinism.

I think this concept is something that needs to be addressed, not in the sense of any anti-feminist beliefs, but that the only way equal rights for the sexes can be achieved is by the collaborative effort between masculism and feminism. Women aren’t the only one who historically have stereotypical rolls. Men are held as the breadwinners and the dominant sex and more often than not I hear stay-at-home men being called free-loaders.

How can women be so easily allowed to stay at home with or without children, while men must work?

Men also don’t have the luxury of being able to wear women’s clothing without being questioned. Men must have masculine interests. They shouldn’t show their feelings. They should pay for the date. They should buy you drinks. I don’t understand why this is all static, but women have a whole movement for them to have more sex, be able to have whatever jobs they want, but can still stay at home while their husbands work.

If there is one thing I’d like you to think about after you read this, its that if you can’t support the thought that men need equal rights, then the sexes aren’t equal in nature. Men are naturally prone to fall into certain roles, as are women. Our brains and bodies are not the same.

How do you feel about “masculism”? 

Should People Be Allowed to Carry Mace?

14 May

I kind of have a problem with mace and pepper spray. I’m sure its related to other things that I have problems with, but I think its silly that people carry mace. I know that its supposed to be a deterrent and a defense strategy, but what happens if you mistake someone as a threat when they aren’t?

Pepper spray (which also is manufactured under the brand Mace, and generically called such, but mace is also a type of tear gas) causes a burning sensation, temporary blindness, trouble breathing, and disorientation from such. It makes sense that it is used as defense, because trying to see and breathe are more important to the brain than is killing someone.  This is a pretty high price to pay if you are an innocent, unknowing victim of someone who is too paranoid for their own good, though.

Yes, I understand that anything can be a weapon in the hands of someone who is too paranoid, but I think that if you carry pepper spray you are already too paranoid to be considered in a mind state to use it correctly and safely.

Do you think people should be allowed to carry pepper spray? Do you carry it, or any other “self-defense” device?

Why I’m Not A Feminist

30 Apr

 

First, let me make a distinction. Just because I don’t call myself a feminist, does not mean I am anti-feminist. I’m not. I just don’t associate strongly with what I believe strong feminist views to be.

The main reason that I don’t consider myself a feminist, is because I know that men and women are different and I’m okay with that. We are physiologically and biologically different. We are hard-wired differently, so it doesn’t make sense to me to be expected to be exactly the same.

Also, in order to be a feminist, I think that you should be an activist for women’s rights, and play an active role to raise awareness. I don’t do this. I’m not saying, by any means, that people shouldn’t do this; it just isn’t what I feel passionate about. I also, for one, have no desire to be drafted into the military – none whatsoever. That is a necessary part of gender equality and it is one that I want no part of.

What seems to be a major part of non-active feminists (ones that associate as feminists but don’t really do anything to further the cause) views is trying to abolish double-standards. Yes, I agree that some double standards shouldn’t be in place. For example, women have the capacity to perform at the same intellectual level as men. My problem with double standards is when women lower their standards and morals to get rid of the double standards. No, women should not be judged for sleeping around differently than men should, but I think that men should raise their standards and not sleep around, rather than women lowering their standards and sleeping around.

My final point uses my personal ability of performance as an example. I’m completely independent of needing men. I don’t need a guy to fix my computer, my vacuum, my car, open a jar, or anything else a man might be “handy” for.  Maybe that is why I don’t feel the need to be less “oppressed” by men…because I don’t feel oppressed to begin with. Some of the people I know to act like feminists most are some of the same women who ask men to open bottles and carry things, and that doesn’t make sense to me either.  That being said, I still enjoy when a man opens the door for me, and does similar thing…but I think that has more to do with the hopeless romantic within me than anything else.

And besides, does any activist group want someone to be part of it if they may be considered a hypocrite? I think if I kept my views, I would be a hypocrite if I called myself a feminist.

So, what do you think? Do you call yourself a feminist? 

Why Wear Sneakers, When You Can Wear Heels?

11 Apr

We all know heels aren’t necessarily the most practical footwear to really do anything in. Assuming that you have mastered the ability to walk in them, however, there are a few things that are way more fun to do when wearing heels.

  1. Sex. Okay, so this is the obvious one, but wearing heels can make you feel sexier, and the sexier you feel, the more confident you are. The more confident you are, the better the sex is going to be.
  2. Racing [driving]. There is nothing better than flooring it wearing some sexy heels. Not to mention, it makes you feel invincible. I just smoked you, and I’m wearing heels.
  3. Target practice. This seems counterintuitive, I know, but picture a femme fatal, wearing some heels and blood red lipstick. Now, picture a bonnie-esque gun in her hands. Tell me that doesn’t sound awesome!
  4. Playing drums. This is usually reserved for men, so being a woman and doing it = awesome.
  5. Mechanics. This is along the same lines as 4. I think of it as a feminist thing. Some feminists are like “I’m not going to shave, yeah!” and I’m like “I’m going to wear a dress, and makeup, and heels, and I’ll still do everything you do, but better!

So, while wearing heels isn’t necessarily always practical, it can really be fun and by no means should just be reserved for special occasions.

Have you worn heels doing any of these things? Do you agree that heels make it more fun? Can you think of anything else that is more enjoyable when you wear heels?