Tag Archives: faith

Faith: A Desperate Man’s Prayer

23 Aug

As I’ve grown older, I’ve almost completely stopped telling people about major events in my life that might garner some sort of sympathy. This is one of those times, but I find that it would be out of character if I didn’t make a point out of life events. It’s kind of my thing.

So, I regret to inform you that my dad has been diagnosed with inoperable cancer.

I don’t know the type or the prognosis or really much of anything, but my mom says that, while the doctor didn’t say much, it sounds like its terminal. If she is correct, she also didn’t give me a time frame to consider.

I’ve only actually disclosed this to 3 friends, and it was because I knew they wouldn’t have much to say on the matter. No amount of “I’m so sorry” will do anything. Nothing. My situation is not unique. And knowing that my friends are “there for me” doesn’t really do anything for me either (the only thing that might make me feel better is having a man in my life, but oh well).

Death is a fact of life, and I plan to treat is as thus.

It’s almost like a clean slate when you might be dying. You can do whatever you want. Even be reckless if you so desire. Maybe its even liberating.

But, of course, I don’t want to lose my father. I assumed I had at least 10 more years with him, but remarkably, I’ve been preparing myself for the loss of my parents since I was a small child. One night when I was probably 6, I woke up from a nightmare that both my parents had died. I told my mom, through tears, about the dream. She comforted me about this plan God had that one day, he will save the world and people will live forever again as they were once meant to.

I held onto that for years.

Unlike the rest of my family, I have not held onto that faith in a higher power. There are moments when I wish that if I prayed a miracle would happen, and being agnostic makes it even more difficult. And that is how I feel about faith in religion. Desperation. So I hold my faith in science and medicine, as I should. There have been remarkable advancements in cancer treatment, and I think that even if God did exist, he would have given us these tools for us to use.

While I hope that something amazing happens and his cancer goes into remission, I hope, too, that my father is proud of me. The two things I wanted my dad to still be here for were to walk me down the aisle of my wedding, and to see me graduate from vet school. Unfortunately, I’m not close to accomplishing either of those things and I do feel some degree of failure because of that, but deep down I know he is very proud of me (all I really have to do is ask and he’ll boast).

I love him very much, and I hope that if it’s time, I’ll at least be able to get the most knowledge I can out of him before then. Because goodness knows, I feel like I call him every other day asking him how to change or fix or make things.

Things Exist for a Purpose

5 Mar

As I sit here watching shows on alien theory on the Science channel, you know that they are picking my brain.

The question the show is currently posing is if a faith in a godly figure would be universal and would exist with aliens. The researchers are arguing that humans prefer purpose-based reasons for why things exist over their science-based reasons. For example:

Purpose-based: The sun produces light so plants can photosynthesize.
Science-based: Plants photosynthesize because light produced by the sun can be used as an energy source.

They tested children first, and found that they much preferred purpose-based, but they also wanted to test adults. They used a true-false system that required adults to read purpose-based sentences, and as quickly as possible choose true or false. The adults also seemed to prefer purpose-based.

What I wonder is the religious background of each of the participants. Many of us are trying to get rid of this dichotomous categorization that we use so frequently and hope to lead our children to find what they believe to be true on their own. Part of this involves religious faith. We want to expose our children and show them the options, and let them choose which ever seems to be right. I do feel, however, that most children are raised to believe that a god exists, and within that, are raised to believe that everything was created for a purpose. This would explain why purpose-based explanations are preferred.

I would like to see the results of children and adults that were raised outside of this. That is difficult to do, just as it is to raise children outside of gender norms, but I wonder if it is really nature that causes these test groups to prefer purpose-based explanations, or if it is the nurture behind it.

Do you think humans naturally prefer purpose-based explanations, or do you think it’s something that is taught to us? How do you think you’d perform on the adult version of the test?

Inter-Religion Marriage

4 Sep

A comment, made by @ANVRSADDAY, on my previous blog about mistakes made me think about something I don’t often think about: inter-religion marriage.

In my own life, I can’t say that I would never marry someone with religious beliefs different than mine, but if I did he would have to have pretty relaxed beliefs, and could in no way be a die-hard religious fanatic. For me, though, its a little different because I don’t believe in God. That, in itself, pins me against almost every religion. With those people who do believe in a God, there is a vast number of combinations of denominations and religions that can work together.

Even if I did believe in God, the implications of having different religions would be minimal. I think the biggest reason its a complication in a marriage, is the decision of what to raise the child as. I’m not having children, so that is of no concern to me (although I do believe children should be exposed to as many religions as possible, and allowed to make their own choice).

Would you be comfortable marrying someone of a different religion than you? Do you think its okay for other people