Tag Archives: dark

Harnessing the Artist

3 Apr

I’m not positive that any of my readers know this, friend or otherwise, but this girl considers herself an artist. I tend to post raw, unedited stories and memories and persuasions, but only because I don’t feel the need to edit myself. Whether it is music, or clay, or paint, or words…the facets of art live within me.

As an artist, I find I suffer from the same tragedy that, say, comedians do. My best work is done when I’m at a low point in life. When I’m down, and out…anyone who has ever read a story I’ve written knows that I can’t do happy. Happy endings don’t exist in my writing, no matter how hard I try. I’ll write horror, and suicide, and abuse…and that could very well be due to the state I have to be in for the creative juices to flow. Believe it or not, I’m pretty handy with a pencil when I’m at that low point to…put on the music, get in the zone, and draw it all away.

The hardest part about being an artist is finding that inspiration to make art when you’re happy. I have so many ideas for short stories (I don’t think I could ever write a novel), that my head swims with the ideas. I just can’t put pencil to paper (or fingers to keys) when I’m happy, though. When I try…the quality is crap.

But I don’t want to trade in my happiness for a gift, no more than I want to trade in my gift for happiness.

Writers, painters, musicians…artists out there…have you found a way to harness that feeling of inspiration, even when you’re out of your mood?

Stockholm Syndrome

24 Jun


While Stockholm Syndrome isn’t recognized as its own disorder, but rather as a subset of PTSD, it still has one major symptom that sets it apart – love for ones captor.

I’ve never been in any situation that would end in acquisition of any sort of PTSD, and I would like to keep it that way. I’m torn, however, at how I would react if I was in fact taken hostage, abducted, or whatever other situation comes to mind. I consider myself resilient, which would make me less susceptible, but in an effort of self-preservation, I can see myself doing whatever it takes. If that means getting chummy with my abductor, so be it, but what happens if that goes a little too far?

What I’m saying is that if I let my guard down enough to try to be civil with my captor in hopes that I can outsmart them, its not a terribly huge step away to get to know their good traits. And unless I’m dealing with a sociopath, everyone has good traits. Even sociopaths can be charming. At that point is it too far-fetched to think that I could develop feelings for my captor, especially if we are in close quarters for a large amount of time? And lets be honest, in thought (not necessarily practice), this submissive role is a turn on for quite a large number of people.

Keep in mind that I’m also not a stranger vengeful, hateful thoughts. I’m not afraid to die if the situation called for it, either. Put those together and you have someone who is okay with fighting back.

How susceptible to Stockholm Syndrome do you think you are?