Tag Archives: dad

30 Day Letter Challenge: Dear Mom and Dad

12 Jun

Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you.

You’ve been such a source of strength throughout my entire life. You are the balance – the yin and the yang – that we all need in our lives.

And I’m lucky enough to have it.

I wish every day that you would move up here. It almost breaks my heart being so far away from you both, and while its good for me, sometimes I think that I do too many things that are good for me.

You’ve taught me well, though. I don’t know if it’s the stubborness I’ve received from you both, or the good values you’ve given me, but regardless it’s because of you that I’ve never done drugs. I’ve never made poor life decisions. I’ve never been drunk.

Some would say that I’m missing out, but I would say that there is nothing in those things that I’m not happy to be missing out on.

There is one thing that I think you’ve taught me more than anything. Independence. Sometimes you call it lack of respect, but you have always allowed me to speak my mind and have adult conversations with you, and it means the world to me that you’ve done that. I respect you both so much, and I hope that you can see that if we ever argue – it’s not out of anger, or spite, but out of a respect to be able to appreciate you for all of the things you are – mother, father, human.

If there is one thing I hope I’ve given you, it’s pride in me. I strive each and every day to make you proud. That’s my girl! is something I want you to always be able to say.

I love you.

I miss you.

Always, Me

What People Thought of Me

8 Sep

Over the past 10 years of my life, I’ve went from “everybody knew me and what I did” to “I was nobody” to “I’m important, enough”.

Going through ups and downs like that in a social perspective can be taxing, and it also puts perspective on how much people think matters: not at all. Generally, people seem to like me enough, and I don’t really think there is any reason not to like me. The people who don’t like me tend to feel that way because I’m not intimidated by them, or because of my confidence – simple things.  I also don’t usually put up with peoples crap, or kiss peoples asses justso they like me. That’s part of the “I don’t care if you like me or not” mindset.

I do have a story for you, though. Let me set the mood: I was in high school. Who was I in high school? I was involved in everything, from class President, to Student Council President, to manager of football, basketball, and track, to volunteering, to being Winter Sports Queen, and maintaining a 4.0 while taking college classes. I was that girl. I didn’t drink, I didn’t do or try drugs of any kind, and I didn’t smoke. I was a virgin then, and still am. I was pretty much the straightest arrow you could find. I was also not afraid to make a stand, though, which is usually the reason why people didn’t like me.

I dated this guy, “Dave”. His mother, for whatever reason, hated me. She really had it out for me. While I was dating Dave, my friend “Kelly” was dating Dave’s brother, “Richard”. Their mother loved this girl. Kelly and I weren’t complete opposites, but we were on different ends of the spectrum, for sure, and she had been in her share of trouble. If you talked to their mother about us, I’m sure I would sound like a trouble-making, sexual deviant and Kelly would be this sweet, innocent angel.

Although it bothered me, I got over it. I was just as nice to that woman as I was to everyone else, but it didn’t matter. Now, with Dave behind me, its amazing how I ended up way above his mothers thoughts of me. She thought I was a terrible influence, but I’m the one who is in college to become a veterinarian. I’m the one who is an independent woman, living on her own, with her life on the exact path she had planned. Richard and Kelly’s lives (although separate) definitely had huge speed bumps involving drugs, babies, and rehab.  Don’t get me wrong, Dave, Richard, and Kelly are all great people with what I can only hope are great things ahead of them, but I was always the bad one, and it was never for anything I actually did, only what they thought I was doing.

I also can’t lie: It feels great to know that I’ve proved her completely wrong, whether she is aware of the fact or not.

Have you ever risen up against what people have thought you were to prove them absolutely wrong? Ever had a significant other whose parents didn’t like you? What were their reasons?

The Pressure to Marry

19 Aug

 

My parents live 4 hours away from me, and because of college and working I rarely am able to see them. Yesterday, however, they came and visited me and left this evening.

At one point in a conversation with my mother, I mentioned someone’s husband. Bad choice. Her immediate response was “You need to start looking for one.”

*facepalm*

Of course, all the talk of getting a boyfriend and looking for one ensued. I really think expectations are highly influenced by her marriage to my father at age 19, and my sister’s marriage to her husband at 23. I turn 23 in November, with not a boyfriend in sight. I can’t say that I really am too effected by it, because many, many vet students get their spouses in vet school.

What kind of pressure do your parents put on you to get married? Do you get pressure from anywhere else? How do you handle it?

Dating Someone With Children

8 Aug

 

Considering that I never want children, I don’t think I could ever date someone who already has them. Sure, I wouldn’t have to go through all the pregnancy and pushing, but kids are a lot of work and I would not look forward to raising their children for the next x amount of years.

Would you date someone who had kids? Would it be dependent on how old you/they are? What about if they were currently pregnant?

Would You Be a Housewife/Husband?

8 Jul

 

It has come to my attention that although some women continue to fight and struggle for equal rights, others would still prefer to stay home while their husbands work and “bring home the bacon”. I’m not saying they are mutually exclusive by any means, but I definitely think they are contradictory.

Some women choose to stay home with their children to care for them and avoid babysitting costs. Its understandable enough. You get the kids off to school, clean up the house, then welcome them back when they get home and then make dinner for their husbands who will be home soon. What confuses me even more than being a stay at home mom is being a stay at home wife. No children…just staying at home.

I can’t even imagine what I would do every day if I didn’t have a job. Yes, days off and vacations are nice, but I would get super bored super fast, especially if all of my friends worked. Aside from potential extreme boredom, I would feel as though all of my independence was gone. I wouldn’t have any of my own money, I wouldn’t contribute to bills or food or anything. That also puts me in a bad position if he was to suddenly lose his job. There would be stress on me to find a job, there would be stress on him to find a job, and there would be stress put on our relationship. This is the same for men and women. Not to mention we would have more money if we both worked, which sums up to more saving, more travelling, more fun, and more extravagant living.

There is also an issue as to what is expected of the person who stays home. Should he/she do all the cleaning? I’ve also speculated that when men stay at home they are considered freeloaders, which isn’t fair to them when women are doing the same thing.

Are you a stay at home mom/dad/wife/husband? If you aren’t, would you want to be? When does staying at home cross the line into freeloading? 

Socialization in Humans: Making Friends

6 Jun

Rarely are things in this world black and white. This is also true for nature versus nurture (and most other debates of this type). So before I make my case, we are all born predisposed to certain things. Nurture can only act on what nature gives us, so to some degree socialization can only matter so much. The reason I bring this up is because I think I was fairly well socialized as a child, but I’m still an introvert and I still have trouble doing certain things adequately.

In animals (lets speak non-human animals first) we know that socialization can be crucial. With dogs, we socialize them with other dogs, people, and in an ideal world, other species of animals as well. This is all in hopes that they will not fear these things, and will know how to react when they come into contact with them. A poorly socialized dog may find it harder to understand its doggie friends social cues, or may be fearful or aggressive toward them. This is the same with people. If a dog hasn’t been socialized with people, it may bark, bare its teeth, or just be fearful. Novel situations do the same thing. That is why it is so important to introduce puppies to these things. This is all nurture, but the internal nature of the dog still is being acted on; some dogs are socially motivated, so they may love to play with people or other dogs, but others may be internally motivated, so they are more introverted and prefer to do things at their own pace.

Depending on the situation of an animal, we might want to limit its socialization also. This is true of wildlife rehabilitation animals. We don’t want them to think humans are good (because that can endanger them later on, and people as well), so we don’t interact with them the same way we do a dog. If its a baby, however, it does still need to know what it is, and how to react to its peers, so its best to try to introduce it to others of its kind.

This brings me to humans. We, too, have different levels of motivation – its kind of like the introvert versus the extrovert, so how we deal with situations is naturally variable from person to person. Socialization is important for us also, though. Socialization is a major perk of having siblings, and of being taught at a public or private institution. This is not to say that being an only child or being home schooled are bad things, but that parents must take extra measures to ensure their child still has the ability to react to social cues, as well as give them. We may not realize it, but baby/toddler play dates are just as important as puppy play dates. Children learn how to share, what it means to get hurt or hurt someone, and all the positive and negative connotations of such.

This can help them make friends easier later on, and friends are important.

Also, socializing a child with animals or introducing them to new adults can be life-altering as well. If you show a child all different kinds of animals – snakes, mice, rabbits, dogs, cats, birds, etc. – then the likelihood that they will fear those animals decreases. It also gives you a great way to teach your child about its surrounding environment, and the proper way to handle animals like these. Having your child interact with strangers can help them learn that not all people are scary, but can help you teach them valuable lessons such as “don’t get into a car with someone you don’t know”. This could be as simple as introducing your child to the cashier at the store, or asking for what they want at a restaurant.

Being socially awkward myself, I know that I could’ve been more socialized as a child. My sister was 8 years older than me, so I was almost like an only child (yes, growing up I had sharing issues). I also see the effects in my peers who might manifest things such as social anxiety or a decreased ability to react properly to social stimuli.

Do you think socialization in humans is important? What was your situation as a child? Do you have children of your own?