Tag Archives: culture

Don’t Be a Victim: An Ode to Personal Responsibility

25 Jul

Let’s talk about a dicey subject.

Victim shaming.

Often considered an integral piece of rape culture,  victim shaming is generally known as any behavior, attitude, or stance that places blame on the victim for the incident or causes the victim to feel ashamed of his or her actions secondary to blaming the incident on the victim’s actions. As a part of rape culture, statements such as “she shouldn’t have been wearing that” or “she shouldn’t have drank that much” are common ways to propogate feelings of rape being a result of a woman’s actions, instead of that of a man’s (I’m using these particular pronouns because of the statistical frequency of rape to particular genders, however, I do very much acknowledge the presence of rape of men by men or by women – I’m not forgetting you fellas, I promise!).

It is important that we help to eliminate this brand of propogation of rape culture by teaching men and women what consent is and means and understanding that blaming anyone but the perpetrator is not okay.

I have, however, seen a lot of social media coverage of things that are basically telling anyone to throw caution to the wind. Run naked and drunk through that dark alley into that windowless van, young girl! Rape isn’t your fault!

Well, no. Rape isn’t your fault, and I do not want anyone thinking that I am suggesting that. I’m going to continue to use this scenario for explanatory purposes. If you do, in fact, run naked and drunk through a dark alley in a windowless van, this is not an excuse to rape you. It is not a reason to rape you. You should not be raped in this situation, or ever. (It is an excuse to provide you with a warm blanket, and probably call the police because a safe place for you to go is needed.) I am also not, in any way, attempting to make any person feel ashamed of whatever experiences they have been or will go through.

BUT…(yes, there is a but)…don’t be a victim.

A dark alley probably isn’t a great place to walk, regardless of your gender, how you are dressed, or your degree of sobriety. Getting into a strangers vehicle is not a great idea regardless of your gender, how you are dressed, or your degree of sobriety. Doing these things while drunk and naked is an even worse idea regardless of your gender or how you are dressed.

These things are unneccessary risks, especially in combination.

What it all comes down to is this:

The only person responsible for you…is you.

Please. Take personal responsibility for yourself. Be accountable for your actions. Be safe.

I recently saw a social media post about a girl who got hit by a car because she was playing Pokemon GO explaining that it was the game’s fault. There is no personal responsibility in that statement. It is terrible that she got hit by a car, and we would all hope that the driver in that situation was paying attention and had enough time to come to a complete stop without hitting the girl, but the fact of the matter is that this girl needs to understand that in the future, she should decrease the risk level she is taking by being more proactive in her own environment.

If you have done an acceptable degree of prevention, whatever the incident, and the incident still occurs, then at the very least you can say I did my part. It isn’t my fault. Because the last thing anyone wants to feel is that feeling of maybe I could have done this differently, or this, or that…The less someone has to face these feelings after a rape, the closer they are to healing.

We can tell everyone all the time from a young age until we are blue in the face that “no means no” or “lack of communiction is not consent” but just as it is with anything, variation in the human element means that rape will always happen. It is a lonely world out there, and I can only hope that there is someone out there that cares about you, but at the end of the day, we are all selfish human beings with our own needs to take care of.

That’s okay. We also try to be decent humans to each other and support each others interests.

But if you aren’t being responsible, there is no guarantee that someone else will be responsible. Empower yourself. Take the precautions needed when you need to take them. It’s okay.

What do you think of personal responsibility? What is something that you do to take charge when you’re feeling unsafe in your environment?

Humanity, Rape Culture, and When Rape is Okay?

27 May

Hello readers. I want to share something with you. Please, settle in, and read all these quotes about rape:

 

Rape him again n again till he bleeds to death through his asshole” – Justin Lyons

“He got what he deserved [by being raped]” – Trish Drury

“Don’t care if it’s wrong. He got what he deserved” – Connie Kostecky Mattair

“Good, hope it keeps happening.” – PerfectChaos

“…i hope he gets raped daily…” – TwiztedAngel

 

We talk about how we need to stop the cycle of rape culture, but here are 5 examples…pardon by language…some messed up shit! Real people said this. I didn’t make those up, they aren’t in books. The first three were from the comment section of a Facebook post, and the last 2 were from a forum. So what might you ask are these comments on? You might have already read the article, but a man who raped and killed a small child was taken to prison, and during the 30 days prior to his hearing, he was raped by 20 men. Then, because of the injuries he sustained, he was taken to the medic to be sewn up, following which he got raped again by the group again causing him to tear out his stitches and bleed through his pants.

If you’re interested in reading some more, and seeing pictures (required if you are going to post a comment similar to those above) you can find it here.

Seeing these pictures and thinking about the amount of pain he must have been in makes me physically ill. It makes me want to cry. No, no child deserves this. What he did to that child was also horrific. But this…it just makes the people who raped him rapists and suddenly, instead of having one child rapist there are now one child rapist and 20 rapists.

I simply can’t imagine having this feeling in my heart to wish that it would keep happening or this man would get raped daily or that he would bleed to death from his asshole. How do these people not have the same humanity?

What do you think? How do you think this plays into rape culture?

What Does the Fox Say, You Ask? Let’s Talk About Furries

27 Apr

According to a few friends of mine, who did some intense furry research recently, the song “What Does the Fox Say?” references some mannerisms and language associated with furry culture. Not familiar with furries?

I’m not either, but from what I’ve gathered, its a form of hentai porn based around humanoid animals. One, both, or many people may also dress up in furry costume and have sex. (If I have any of this wrong, let me know…like I said, I’m not too familiar.)

That brings us down to the question – if you were to partake in this furry culture, what would you be? After not-a-whole-lot of deliberation, I decided that I would be a red panda, because HELLO they are adorable. And if I’m going to be a furry, I want to be an adorable one…with an awesome tail…cause tails are the shit.

I don’t think I’d ever get into full blown furry madness, but I wouldn’t be opposed to dressing up in a fuzzy costume and having some fun. After all, costuming (and I don’t mean this in any sexual sort) is my thing. Those fuzzy costumes feel nice on the skin, too.

Would you ever partake in anything furry? Do you have anything to add about furry culture? What furry would you be? I WANT TO KNOW!

The Obsession with Being Impolite

20 Jul

 

All cultures have a set of rules that dictates what are socially acceptable actions. Politeness has its own set of guidelines that can progress and change. They also often vary depending on the relationship of the people involved.

Being politely is personally very important, but I’ve found that isn’t the case with a lot of people. Americans are often thought of as rude and demanding, and it is obvious why, but I don’t understand the reasoning behind it. As far as I’m aware, you should say please when you are asking someone to do something, and thank them when they do. You should excuse yourself if you burp. You should open doors for people. If someone says something to you, you respond. Don’t interrupt someone when they are talking. It is also polite to smile when you see someone on the street, and ask people how they are, but that might be just because I’m from a small town.

All of those things are standard for our culture, but why do we refuse to partake? I know so many people who refuse to excuse themselves when they burp, because “everyone does it, and its a perfectly normal bodily function.” That’s true, but you don’t see me running around naked when I go to the grocery store. Please and thank you are even more standard, but people seem to forget them. Just because someone’s job is to bring you food or serve you drinks doesn’t mean that you should not say please. Honestly, they don’t haveto do anything for you. We do things like this because they are polite, and well…because you don’t want anyone to spit in your food.

I can’t figure out if its because we are a young country, and this just might be in the course of development, or if its really just Americans. Do we feel so entitled that we just think we don’t need to be polite? Is it the obsession with being different just so overwhelming that we can’t be polite?

Do you think being polite is important? Is being impolite an American thing, or do you think its the same everywhere? Why do you think people are so impolite?