Tag Archives: child abuse

No Apologies Needed

8 Jan


Please watch this music video if you haven’t. I want you to watch it before you read what I have to say.

And of course, as you all should know, I love Shia, but my frustration has little to do with him.

This video that you just watched, in case you were unable to tell, is interpretive dance. The job of the dancers, Shia and Maddie, is to give a message to the audience of the emotions that fill the story line. It is the job of the audience to interpret it, and because we all have different perceptions and realities, each interpretation with be undoubtedly different.

But Sia, the creator of the video, just apologized for it. To me, that is an abomination; you should never apologize for art. If you need to apologize for something, apologize for the underlying emotions, apologize for your story, apologize that you had no control over how life played out, but under no circumstances should someone apologize for art.

She apologized because of the pedophilia tones that some who watched this video perceived. Here is a Rolling Stones article detailing a little bit about the apology and complaints.

What bothers me most about all of this is that I don’t see anything that even whispers pedophilia or child molestion/abuse. I see personality. I see a joking, teasing child and a curious, wary adult. I see a strong man looking for escape, and a young girl not yet clouded by the fog of adulthood. At no point do I see anything perverse.

This screams to how our society sees men, and how our innocence is so lost that the only thing we can see in an interaction between a girl and a man or a man and a woman is one of sexual regard. Had Shia been played by a woman, no one would have thought twice.

And if it is the dancers in question, I can’t begin to imagine that these two people had anything more than a professional interaction.

Was Sia correct in apologizing for her video and casting choices? At which point did you see pedophilia, if you saw any at all? What do you think this says about you, and our culture?

Do Children Have the Right to Know Who Their Parents Are?

6 May

On a blog site I’m subscribed to, a woman has a petition going around in hopes that she can take her child’s father’s name off of her birth certificate.

Her reasoning is that her child was molested by this man, at only 4 months old. Now, before you start thinking about what king of a sick person would do this, I ask you to stay objective.

The name on a birth certificate is nothing more than a declaration of whose penis went into your vagina to make the baby (in theory, at least). I think every person has a right to know whose DNA came together to form them.

And the man that molested his 4 month old daughter is nothing more than a DNA contributor. He will be that regardless of whether his name is on the birth certificate or not, and he will not be her father regardless of whether his name is on the birth certificate or not. He will be in prison a minimum of 30 years, and she won’t remember him (she was only 4 months, remember?).

I understand her desire to have his name removed, and according to the text of the petition, she is having difficulty with the Rhode Island government and filling out paperwork for various things that are part of her daily life.  I think that the biological father of this child should sign over any and all rights, but I think that his name should stay on the birth certificate.

Do you think both parents names should be on a child’s birth certificate if both parents are known? Do we, as people, have the right to know whose DNA we carry? What do you think about this situation?