Tag Archives: butt

A Brutally Honest Discussion about Butts

14 Nov

I couldn’t have chosen a better time to post this, now that Kim Kardashian has decided to “break the internet” with her butt. I vowed I wouldn’t look at the picture, but not paying attention to the size of her butt, I decided to see if the picture was relevant to this post.

Meh.

I have lived with a big butt my entire life, surrounded by folks with normal sized to small butts. I look at girls who are like “I have a big butt! Look at it!” and all I can think of is that????? because these are NOT big butts:

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about quality. A small butt can be much better quality than a big butt and vice versa. You could consider some of these nice butts, but these are nothing more than normal butts, being stuck out dramatically.

So for all the folks out there, I have something for you to relate to that you may have thought was just you, because it isn’t something we really talk about (and for those of you who have a delicate disposition or a small butt or no desire to talk about the toilet, avert your eyes now).

Do you know how much toilet paper it takes to properly clean a big butt?

Growing up, my parents always gave me grief about how much toilet paper I used. But the thing is bigger butt = deeper butt crack = more area to clean.

If you can’t relate to this, you don’t have a big butt.

That was why my parents didn’t relate, and growing up I always felt like I was a weirdo for using so much toilet paper, but just the other day, I got into the car with a friend who also has a big butt, and I said just that. Do you know how much toilet paper it takes to properly clean a big butt? And she was relieved. And I was relieved. Because in that moment we finally both understood that we were not alone. The desire to be clean far outweighs “wasting” toilet paper.

I think that is an unfortunate side effect of having anything that is “too big” or “too small”. Whether its “too tall” or “too short” or “too fat” or “too skinny”. If it makes you feel different from others, there is no way you are going to talk about it. If you can muster up the courage, though, once you talk about it you’ll realize you aren’t alone.

And that is a wonderful feeling.

Can you relate? Do you have a big butt? Let’s see it and we all can decide! What is something that you think is weird about yourself, so you’ve never talked about it with someone? Let’s hear it and we can see if we can match you up with someone with the same quirk!

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How Do You Wipe?

29 May

I have this conversation often enough. It originally started way back when I was probably a sophomore or junior in high school, in which me and a very close friend were discussing the topic. Yesterday, I brought it up to my coworkers during what we have aptly dubbed the “pants party” (when we change out of our scrubs into normal clothes after work).

I happened to be folding laundry while sitting on the toilet (the locker room is our bathroom and laundry room also), and the subject of pooping got brought up (apparently there are different ways to sit on the toilet and poop, too). That ultimately led to our discussion about wiping (not just limited to pooping, especially for the ladies). We decided that there were a few main stances. There is the lean to the side, the lean forward/squat, and then the stand up, with degrees of difference in each. We all kind of thought that wiping standing up was really weird, and inefficient. I happen to be a lean to the side type of person.

How do you wipe? Do you think it depends on if you are man or a woman?