Tag Archives: alcohol

Date Rape: Breaking it Down [Infographic]

27 Aug

 

I found the above picture shared on my Facebook feed, and there are a few important points I’d like to share and discuss.

I don’t think that the goal of this nail polish is to end date rape or in its entirety – I think it is just one more tool to keep yourself safe. But, even if it was, this graphic has a good point: there are more important things to focus on about preventing rape.

The first thing that actually caught my eye as interesting was the first bullet point on how to “End Rape”.

1) Address those at risk of committing sexual assault.

Is this common knowledge? Are there people who are predisposed to commit sexual assault? I guess I know the answer is “yes”, but how do we recognize that well in advance of them actually committing sexual assault?

We talk about teaching our boys about consent, just as we teach our girls about protecting themselves, but this statement goes further than that. And if we assume that it refers to males i general, than 4) is hypocritical of itself and this graphic is quite flawed.

As I read further, I found that all of the points under the “End Rape” section are quite interesting.

2) Address the culture that condones and teaches predatory sexual behavior.

This one slightly boggles me. I feel as predatory sexual behavior is not a cultural norm, so I’m at a loss for what it is actually referencing. My personal views on rape are slightly skewed compared to the populous, so there I have an inkling that the predatory behavior she is referring to is simply pursuing someone you are interested in. Of course, if she is referring to what most people consider stalking, then it absolutely needs to be addressed. I do still firmly hold the belief that just because you are a victim, doesn’t mean you don’t hold some responsibility (on a case by case basis, of course). I know…unpopular opinion.

3) Teach sexual consent and respect for women’s bodies from a young age.

This statement should not be in the same set of statements as 4). It should not be centered on women’s bodies, and respect for men’s bodies is equally as important. Men, I feel, can be coerced into having sex just as easily if not moreso than women and its absurd to ignore this. Coercion is not consent. I was never taught that “no means no” except if I’m saying no. Giving the benefit of the doubt, I think the author wasn’t meaning to be biased, and is giving a good message, just in the wrong words.

And the final point caught my eye immediately after 1) did.

4) Address the sexist myth that men are naturally predatory and women are responsible for stopping them.

This actually illustrates a point rooted much deeper in sexism: women are responsible for men. We aren’t. We aren’t responsible for your laundry, or cleaning the bathroom, or keeping you in line. Men are responsible for men, and women need to stop feeling like we should be. Not terribly long ago, I heard a beautiful explanation for Muslim women covering their bodies. The reason they cover their bodies is so that they do not tempt men because being tempted is shameful, and they wish to save them from that shame.

While I like this, and I often feel this way about certain relationships I have, it is not my responsibility.

But on the flip-side, men are not naturally predatory. They have self-control. They have the ability to choose their actions, and I think it is very sexist to assume otherwise. I can’t tell you how frustrated it makes me when we discriminate men solely because they are men.

I’ve already mentioned that my views are slightly skewed, but it’s important to acknowledge that men need help too. For me to deny someone a ride simply because they are a man and not a woman is just as bad as me denying someone a ride simply because they are not white. For me to drive by a person on the side of the road having car problems because they are a man and not a woman is just as discriminatory.

Maybe I don’t feel discriminated against for my sex as much as some women do, but I often feel like we go on about sexism in the wrong way.

I should mention how much I love Laci Green and I highly recommend her videos. We don’t always see eye to eye, but that is okay…I still recommend her videos. I don’t always agree with decisions on how women should be proactive about preventing rape, but the guys who created this nail polish did have a pretty good idea. We already use nail polish, and this type of preventative doesn’t change our routine really at all (which is my pet peeve). I think, especially, if you live in a high crime area or know if you are going to be in an area that monitoring your drink might be difficult, that this is a good idea.

Any interesting stories you’d like to share about date rape or fingernail polish or role-reversal? How do you feel about this new fancy nail polish? Are you a Laci Green fan? What do you think about this infographic?

Sex Toys and Booze

20 Jun

Last night I was hostess of a Slumber Party for the very first time. What is a Slumber Party, you ask? A Slumber Party is when a group of women get together, and get told about sex toys by a representative with the Slumber Parties company.

Its fun.

A total of 16 people came, and we had all kinds of snacks and beverages, and there was definitely some alcohol involved. First rule of Slumber Parties…no boys allowed! I think that’s to allow us all to get a little unruly and not be embarrassed about talking about dildos, of course. Because I was hostess, I got to control the bullet, which just happened to be placed between one of the Slumber Party virgins boobies. It looks a little like this (except with only one silver thing – that’s the vibrating part):

Every time I saw something that I wanted to be on sale, I got to turn it to high, and the virgin had to yell out sale. I’ll admit it was very funny! We also were asked trivia questions, and correct answers were given penis pencil toppers. I just happened to get a flesh colored one and a blue, glow-in-the-dark one. Somehow it ended up on my lamp switch.

Probably the best point throughout the night, however, was when we were all finished, and our consultant (my friend from middle school, go figure!) was waiting to take orders. At that point we grabbed the Ice Man, which is this bad boy:

It has a suction cup, so you can pretty much mount it wherever you please and have a go! I’m sure you can imagine what 16, 20-somethings could do tossing around one of these things. Helicopter dick made its appearance at one point during the night (and yes, I have video).

We also stuck it to things, and took various [staged] photo bomb pictures. We through it, we jiggled it, and I poked people with it. I have a picture of a friend “smoking” the Dazzling Diva like a cigar, and many pictures of friends holding the elephant of the Decadent Indulgence to their nose. 50 Shades of Gray as read by Gilbert Godfried even made its appearance later in the evening. It was an awesome night, and I ended up getting four free items! Awesome, right!? I got this pheromone cologne, some numbing stuff for waxing, some shaving stuff for loosening hair follicles, AND I got this awesome stuff that keeps away moisture on hot, sweaty days. Working at an animal shelter is going to be much more comfortable once THAT gets here.

Overall, it was a great time, and I’m so glad I knew my consultant personally. I’m so glad everyone could make it, and I’m so glad I got 50 dollars worth of free stuff! I wish I could share pictures, but I think I’ll keep all of those for my private collection. If you’ve never had a Slumber Party or been to one, I highly recommend doing it. I had pretty much all levels of sexual experience and comfort attend, and it worked just fine!

Ever had a Slumber Party? What games did you play? Recommend their products?

Are Drugs Better Than Sex?

1 May

 

Recently, I was talking to a friend, when he asked me if I could do what drug, what it would be (without consequences, I’m assuming). After further discussing it, I came to the conclusion he was asking me what drug he should try. Its all ridiculous, because I am so anti-drug it’ll knock your socks off.

That led me to try to find something for him to do/try that would be better than potentially dying or getting addicted to a drug just because he was bored. Alcohol was out of the question, because that isn’t abnormal. Same with pot. Then I figured it out.

SEX.

I told him he should have lots and lots of sex, instead of doing drugs (not that I condone that, either, but its better to me than drugs). It makes perfect sense, and its more fun anyway. Then, he said it.

Sex doesn’t cut it. Its fun…but its boring.

How is that even possible? I told him he must be doing it wrong then. I can see how, to a hard core drug addict, drugs are better than sex, and maybe to someone who is asexual, but other than that, it baffles me. I can also see how someone who is depressed could feel that way too, I guess.

Sure, I haven’t had sex. Sure, I haven’t done drugs. But from what experience I’ve had, I can’t even imagine how drugs could be better.

I pose this question to all of you out there, who have done one or the other: Can drugs really be better than sex? Do you think he is just doing it wrong?