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On the Delicate Nature of Having a Good Year

14 Jan

2017 was one of the best years of my life.

It may have actually even been the best year of my life, but all that means is that 2018 has a lot to live up to.

Have you heard the song “Good Ole Days” by Macklemore and Kesha? If you haven’t and have any joy for nostalgia, I highly recommend you do. There is a line that says “maybe you always look back and remember it was better than it was”. How true. I look back on 2017 and see all of the triumph and personal development in my life. I look at each hardship I overcame as an adventure. But I still find myself glossing over those terrible days when I could barely get out of bed or the nights when I was so angry all I wanted to do was run for hours and then eat a whole pizza afterward. I guess what I’m getting at is that our victories always come between trials. Our good days only happen because of bad days.

Coming out of 2017, I also look back at 2016 and 2015 and 2014 and even 2013 and I see the days peppered with many more bad days than good. Or is it more mundane days and fewer great days? It could even be far more terrible days with only okay days on occasion.

So I see 2018 laid out ahead of me. I see a new year ready to be the best year yet. It’s terrifying. How can life get better than it already was? Each bad day I’ve had in January (and believe me, it’s been way too many) is a reminder to the most insecure part of my being that it can’t get better. It can only get worse. I’ve been grappling every day trying to make sure I’m happy and that I don’t lose that forward momentum. There is so much pressure to not ruin it all because when I do look back, I can’t have another 2014. I can’t have another 2015. My being can’t handle another one of those and the balance feels so delicate that at any moment life will all of a sudden change from a 2017 kind of year to a 2015 kind of year. The stress is monumental.

And that leads me to the one thing I have to keep telling myself. January is a Monday. We tried to prepare on Sunday but we never fully recuperate until at least Tuesday, and while my bad days have surpassed my good, I still have 351 chances at having a good year and by then, the few bad moments on that Monday won’t really matter at all.

What’s your 2018 outlook? Did you transition from a good year or from a bad?

A Week in Sweaters

13 Jan

A new week, a new batch of sweaters! That’s nakeytaters365 on Instagram!