On the Subject of Dating…Why Not Talk About Orgasms?

20 Dec

Come one, come all! (See what I did there?)

I invite you to read this article, which seems to think that vaginal orgasms are a myth? Click me.

In summary, lady has lots of sex to try to get a vaginal orgasm, and comes to the conclusion that a) they don’t exist, b) if they do exist, they aren’t worth it, c) anal orgasms aren’t worth it either.

Now, if you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I tell all (for the most part) and may even overshare on occasion. I don’t really have much on my end to add to the conversation (until you actually engage me, then we can discuss), but I will say there were stages I went through when I read this.

Stage 1: Curiosity. Vaginal orgasms don’t exist? Science? Is that you?
Stage 2: Confusion. But…are you sure? Cause *looks down*. I think you’re wrong. But…*looks up* are you sure????
Stage 3: Paranoia. Is my whole life a lie? It’s all made up! It’s all in my head. Does this mean I’m crazy? Am I in a weird sex coma where things aren’t what they seem? Anyone? SOMEONE!?
Stage 4: Anger. DON’T LIE TO ME! I KNOW WHAT I’VE FELT!! How dare you make me question my vagina!
Stage 5: Acceptance? Lady sounds crazy and kind of bitter. Thus, I declare a), b), and c) false.


Your turn! Do you believe vaginal orgasms to be a myth? Experience to share to support your thoughts? 

8 Responses to “On the Subject of Dating…Why Not Talk About Orgasms?”

  1. buddy71 at 11:10 pm #

    who really cares where the orgasm comes from, as long as you do have one! is it really that important as to the location? are you being pleased? and isn’t that the point? I always thought that women had an orgasm just like men. in other words, some sort of ejaculation took place. now, I have read that men can have orgasm without ejaculation, but as far as I am concerned, they are the same. the first woman I had intercourse with did “ejaculate” or should I say “squirt” when she had a full on orgasm. and this is what I thought all women did. silly me to find out this was not the case. I was taught by two women just how and what to do to please a woman. it is a process and it can take not only a penis in a vagina, but many other ways to stimulate her and in many other places too. lips, tongue, fingers, hands, toys as well as the penis in many places and in all sorts of combinations may be needed to have her reach orgasm. the best way I have found is to ask what she likes. besides, I am there to please her and if what she experiences is what she calls an orgasm? then I have done what I needed to do. can she fake it? sure. unlike men, it is hard for us to fake ejaculation (orgasm).
    so I say, why worry where it is happening. just enjoy the feeling for isn’t that what it is all about whether you masturbate or have a partner? and yours may not be anything like any other woman’s, just like my orgasm is not like any other mans.

    what a fun topic! :)

    • mishie1 at 1:05 pm #

      I’m glad you find my topic interesting! I think the concern about source of the orgasm stems from a couple things. First, and I’m just speculating here, I think women dislike having to take charge and give direction, for whatever reason. Second, I men are all about this in-and-out thing and it would be so much quicker and easier to have both parties finish with that. I am more about the ride than the destination, though, like you said…if it’s fun then who cares?

      • buddy71 at 6:14 pm #

        oh i like that….im about the ride than the destination part. i think people put way too much importance on the orgasm as that is the only way to know the woman/man is pleased. if you dont give me some direction, how would i know what is good for you as i should be doing what makes you feel good and vice versa and some communication should happen.

  2. April at 1:39 am #

    I know this one! I couldn’t make it beyond the position thing; she’s right/you’re right, she does sound a bit “sex negative” and bitter. It depends on a lot of things.

    Anatomy: we’ve certainly narrowed down a spectrum of “normal,” But that still varies a lot and can change a bit. (Two kids later and home girl doesn’t look or feel – to me; Hubby’s still happier than a pig on a vegan farm – the same.) His anatomy matters too. Hormones: are a bitch. Two decades ago, I had the best dream of ever…a wet one. Haven’t since. Since having Sage, my body seems to think we’re done with sex. I still find my husband attractive. I can (usually) still show up to the party and have a good time (a really good time), but throwing the party hasn’t been my idea in four months.* Your ability to relax and connection to your partner play a role too: we know this, don’t we? It’s kinda hard to have fun at a party if you’re sitting on the sofa worrying about bills or whether or not you left the stove on. It’s also easier to have fun at the party with someone you like and are happy to be around over your creepy neighbor, Ted, or the boyfriend that said, “Yes; those pants really are unflattering to your assets.” Earlier in the evening.

    I think it’s totally possible. But I’m also totally jealous of those that can. I have to reach down and give the old girl an assist. Hubby doesn’t care; he’s just happy that I’m enjoying the party. I don’t care; I’m just happy to be enjoying the party. Some people *glances casually at the author of the article* seem to have a harder (heh) time dealing with that. I “get” that she’s likely trying to whip the finger to Freud for making all of us who have give themselves a hand feel inadequate, but yeah…all of your stages and conclusion are totally justified.

    *After 4 months, to the day, post-Sage, my body decided, “Hey, you know what sounds good? … Giving a blow job! Yeah! Let’s do that!” FFS body!! *sigh* Hubby was suuuuuch a good sport. Imagine that! :-P

    • mishie1 at 12:55 pm #

      You know what I am jealous of? The elegance of your response. I don’t know if elegance is the right word, but you get my point! I’m glad I’m not the only one put off by this article.

    • mishie1 at 1:07 pm #

      I also think its hilarious that when your body decided to finally host a party it was THAT kind if party!

  3. quirkyintrovert at 10:09 am #

    I believe it depends on the woman. Some can and others can’t.

    • mishie1 at 1:09 pm #

      I think that is a concise and accurate statement about what is going on here!

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