30 Days of Online Dating: Day 3

1 Dec


Three days in and this website is really frustrating! I keep having to Google how to find certain functions that I know exist. Today, I found the “Visits” page which shows who has visited your profile. It’s an interesting thing…seeing you is seeing you and then figuring out if they were interested or not. I had 5 pages of views, but only one recently (yesterday).

In lieu of making my own poor dating choices, I decided to have a good friend of my help me sift through potential matches, and this is what happened:

Messages Sent: 1 (of 10 potential matches)
Messages Received: 0
Conversations: 0

About the guy: 26 and local, “has a weakness for animal lovers”, has a dog, doesn’t want kids, and is uninterested in faith/politics
His date: How about we…go bowling.
My reservations: Bowling sounds fun, but isn’t the most creative. I also can’t really see his face in the picture he has posted.

Intrigued by: 
Mutual Intrigues: 0

Things learned (general): how to access the people who have viewed my profile (5 pages of views, only one of which was in the past 3 days); the vast majority of the men I’ve browsed through have been white (area demographics? website demographics?)
Things learned about myself: I generally aim to date late 20s to early 30s but the majority of people I have “favorited” or been “intrigued” by are younger than me (my age range is set to 24-35); I apparently only find white men and the occasional black man attractive, despite my hispanic descent; going to church is apparently a much bigger turn-off than I ever imagined it would be
Something I challenged myself to do: message someone who has also been intrigued by yours truly (feeling is mutual)

Most bizarre/shocking: No dick pics yet???


Tomorrow perhaps it is onto messaging someone who isn’t also mutually intrigued. I have my eye on someone…we’ll see.



Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey: 30 Days of Online Dating

2 Responses to “30 Days of Online Dating: Day 3”

  1. Doubledb December 2, 2015 at 4:47 am #

    I’ll admit I felt a trigger when you said bowling didn’t sound “creative enough”. I felt a lot of pressure to come up with some perfect date, mostly because of a lot I read by females and on blogs about what females want. But there is a lot of differing opinions out there as to exactly what a perfect date is. A lot said coffee or a dinner or a dinner + movie was boring while others seemed to think these were fine for first dates. also, as a guy, I actually felt more used when I was more creative and spent more money only to be let go afterwords. Its made me rethink how I would date if I went back. Only coffee dates first, then give her my number for her to contact me if she is interested. Id do this for two reasons (1) I’ve already expressed interest so this gives her the opportunity to put down her cards and avoids the awkwardness of her having to tell me if she is truly interested or not for a second date (2) This gives me the leg up to ask if there is anything she wants to do. (3) Then there is the whole equality thing, which I think works better and lays equal pressure on the female to act instead of the guy having all the pressure.

    I also think, females dont message men because they dont want to be rejected. Also, why women dont typically ask men out on dates. Most females would say it is because the man is “supposed” to ask “her” out. Even a feminist blogger admitted it was just easier to respond then have to form and send a message to men.

    However, if we are truly looking for equality between males and females, both should be able to message and ask the other out on a date. the closest I’ve had in online dating was when a female stated “just so you know, I’d be ok if you asked me out”. I did ask her out, I believe we went to the zoo, then we agreed to be friends, and then after she never responded to anything ever again. I realize that sounds bitter but its what happened.

    • mishie1 December 2, 2015 at 6:11 pm #

      You bring up many, many amazing points!! I’m so glad you took the time to comment.

      So I will say that I love bowling, and that I think coffee, drinks, movies, bowling and your other typical first dates are perfectly acceptable. Generally, I don’t REALLY need to do anything exciting or special.

      The reason I feel bowling is kind of boring is because well…this website is specifically to pitch date ideas and see who will take you up on them. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to use and navigate this particular website. Taking into account that aspect, bowling is boring. If you take that aspect out of the equation, then bowling is a perfectly good date idea.

      I’m also trying to take a…more…”equal” approach you could say. I’ve had a few women tell me usually the guy messages you, but I’m also trying to make the effort to message them.

      We’ll see how it goes. Like I said, I’m on the fence for how I want to use the site, and how much I actually like it.

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