Archive | December, 2015

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 30 (The Final Day)

29 Dec

Dearest Readers,

I thank you so much for joining me on this 30 day adventure. I’ve learned some about myself, a lot about dating sites, and I challenged myself to do some things that were terrifying, even if it was behind a virtual smokescreen.

Alas, we’ve reached our last day, and it isn’t bittersweet at all!! This has been a lot of work, without any tangible pay-off. Now that I don’t have much in the way of new things to fill you in on, I’ll do a recap of the last 30 days along with some highlights

Day 1: driven to quiet desperation by discovering a someone got a someone, I joined HowAboutWe.
Day 5: I got asked out by a guy who seems pretty much perfect, except for location
Day 21: No more potential matches
Day 22: I wrote about orgasms
Day 28: 1 more potential match
Day 29: a superintendent showed interest, but he lives in Glenwood Springs

Messages Sent: 7
Messages Received: 0
Conversations: 3
Intrigued by:
66 
Mutual Intrigues: less than 10, of which even fewer resulted in any kind of conversation

Things learned (general): It is exhausting to search and search and message people and then get nothing in return
Things learned about myself: a lot, but mostly that I still don’t like the idea of dating and meeting strangers…I’m good at relationships, but the part the proceeds the relationships
Something I challenged myself to do: message people first, openly tell people their pictures are cute

Most bizarre/shocking: Still has to be longrod21 with his wanting to hook up. There are better places for that *cough*tinder*cough*

 

Number of dates: 0

 

I won’t be deactivating my profile. If I remember correctly, you can still message people now without paying. I won’t however, be actively participating (meaning I’m not going to be browsing men, but rather, just responding if someone reaches out).

What are your thoughts? What should I do next (and don’t say Tinder!)?

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The Cultural Significance Of Black Hermione

23 Dec

While I don’t think that JK Rowling’s reaction means that Hermione being black is or is not canon, I do think that Hermione could very well be black without any stretch of the imagination.

 

The fact of the matter is Black girls deserve to see themselves as magical, intelligent, and central in their own stories.

Source: The Cultural Significance Of Black Hermione

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 23

21 Dec

I must say that I really wish flux capacitor guy wasn’t in New Mexico. I’m not quite sure how to skirt around the long distance issue, but I’m enjoying chatting with him (even if the conversation isn’t quick back and forth).

I’m also looking at some potential self-sabotage. I briefly mentioned it yesterday, and I’m not quite sure if that is what is going on or not. I keep looking at guys in the area and for some reason I can’t click “intrigued” or I can’t message them. I can’t tell if it’s because I have difficulty wrapping my head around getting a boyfriend, if going on a first date is just terrifying, or if there is really a reason behind my lack of interest. There is definitely a possibility for that last one, which would be the best reason. I look through these profiles, and with some guys I just have difficulty seeing myself with them. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ll keep you updated.

Messages Sent: 1
Messages Received: 1 
Conversations: 1

About the guy: 26, Environmental Engineer with a masters, 6’4″ *swoon*,  he says his perfect Sunday ends with “nuzzling with a honey badger”, secretly wants to be “a flux capacitor”
His date: How about we…Skype
My reservations: He lives in New Mexico :(


Intrigued by:
6 (almost exclusively just picture “likes”) – had to perform a search for these guys
Mutual Intrigues: 0

Things learned (general): the number of bisexual men is minimal (unsure why that is)
Things learned about myself: I’m banking on cute cat guy because cute cat guy is cute, even though he was like the first guy I was intrigued by…
Something I challenged myself to do: nothing today, but something tells me I should probably try to connect with someone that my brain is telling me not to…

Most bizarre/shocking: nothing to report today, either…maybe that I’m making some long distance considerations that are probably unhealthy? *sigh*

 

Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey:30 Days of Online Dating

On the Subject of Dating…Why Not Talk About Orgasms?

20 Dec

Come one, come all! (See what I did there?)

I invite you to read this article, which seems to think that vaginal orgasms are a myth? Click me.

In summary, lady has lots of sex to try to get a vaginal orgasm, and comes to the conclusion that a) they don’t exist, b) if they do exist, they aren’t worth it, c) anal orgasms aren’t worth it either.

Now, if you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I tell all (for the most part) and may even overshare on occasion. I don’t really have much on my end to add to the conversation (until you actually engage me, then we can discuss), but I will say there were stages I went through when I read this.

Stage 1: Curiosity. Vaginal orgasms don’t exist? Science? Is that you?
Stage 2: Confusion. But…are you sure? Cause *looks down*. I think you’re wrong. But…*looks up* are you sure????
Stage 3: Paranoia. Is my whole life a lie? It’s all made up! It’s all in my head. Does this mean I’m crazy? Am I in a weird sex coma where things aren’t what they seem? Anyone? SOMEONE!?
Stage 4: Anger. DON’T LIE TO ME! I KNOW WHAT I’VE FELT!! How dare you make me question my vagina!
Stage 5: Acceptance? Lady sounds crazy and kind of bitter. Thus, I declare a), b), and c) false.

 

Your turn! Do you believe vaginal orgasms to be a myth? Experience to share to support your thoughts? 

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 22

20 Dec

I can’t say today has been the most exciting, BUT more happened today than yesterday, so that’s good.  You might have to go to day 5/6 to remember, but flux capacitor guy from NM messaged me back. Unless something gives, or something dramatic happens with this particular guy, I think I might have exhausted the usefulness of this website. It’s so unfortunate, because the premise is really great.

Messages Sent: 1
Messages Received: 1
Conversations: 1

What we talked about: our respective last road trips…he went to some hot springs in NM and I went to some hot springs in CO…go figure!

About the guy: 26, Environmental Engineer with a masters, 6’4″ *swoon*,  he says his perfect Sunday ends with “nuzzling with a honey badger”, secretly wants to be “a flux capacitor”
His date: How about we…Skype
My reservations: He lives in New Mexico :(


Intrigued by:
0
Mutual Intrigues: 0

Things learned (general): people take a really long time to respond?
Things learned about myself: I might have reached a point of self-sabotage…
Something I challenged myself to do: nothing

Most bizarre/shocking:  unfortunately…nothing to report

 

Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey:30 Days of Online Dating

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 21

19 Dec

Well. Nothing happened today. And I mean nothing.

No messages, no responses, no men to look at.

Is that it? Is that the end of the line for this website? I don’t even know what to do next…

I guess I’ll update today’s blog if something exciting happens in the next 3 hours…otherwise…

Au revoir!

 

Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey:30 Days of Online Dating

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 20

18 Dec

If there is one thing I’ve learned about this online dating thing…it’s that you can’t really be passive about it. I’ve been going through this “speed date” game everyday, checking my viewers, and hoping for a match or for a nice fellow to message me.

And I’m doing it all wrong.

While I may not be able to do this offline and face-to-face, it’s time to take control. I’ve decided to start messaging a portion of the men I’m interested in, and who knows? Maybe it’ll rub off onto my offline dating (yeah…right!).

Messages Sent: 1
Messages Received: 0
Conversations: 0

About the guy: he loves cats, hates the snow/love dry heat, liberal and an athiest, adorable hair, a decent picture, loves movies and cooking, same age as me
His date: 
Go to a restaurant neither of us have been to and then go to a movie neither of us would be caught dead in.
My reservations:
none, actually…well…I guess his profile technically says he wants kids some day…


Intrigued by:

Mutual Intrigues: 0

Things learned (general): I haven’t really learned it, but I’ve decided that if your profile picture is of anything other than yourself, and you don’t have any pictures of yourself, you must be unattractive and/or very self-conscious about it; how to write a good “first message” (and I’m kind of ashamed I had to Google it…); apparently you can reach “the end” of the guys…
Things learned about myself: 
Something I challenged myself to do: post more date ideas

Most bizarre/shocking: I didn’t think I’d ever look at a picture on someone’s profile and think in my head “are you a…magician???”

 

Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey:30 Days of Online Dating