Archive | December, 2015

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 30 (The Final Day)

29 Dec

Dearest Readers,

I thank you so much for joining me on this 30 day adventure. I’ve learned some about myself, a lot about dating sites, and I challenged myself to do some things that were terrifying, even if it was behind a virtual smokescreen.

Alas, we’ve reached our last day, and it isn’t bittersweet at all!! This has been a lot of work, without any tangible pay-off. Now that I don’t have much in the way of new things to fill you in on, I’ll do a recap of the last 30 days along with some highlights

Day 1: driven to quiet desperation by discovering a someone got a someone, I joined HowAboutWe.
Day 5: I got asked out by a guy who seems pretty much perfect, except for location
Day 21: No more potential matches
Day 22: I wrote about orgasms
Day 28: 1 more potential match
Day 29: a superintendent showed interest, but he lives in Glenwood Springs

Messages Sent: 7
Messages Received: 0
Conversations: 3
Intrigued by:
Mutual Intrigues: less than 10, of which even fewer resulted in any kind of conversation

Things learned (general): It is exhausting to search and search and message people and then get nothing in return
Things learned about myself: a lot, but mostly that I still don’t like the idea of dating and meeting strangers…I’m good at relationships, but the part the proceeds the relationships
Something I challenged myself to do: message people first, openly tell people their pictures are cute

Most bizarre/shocking: Still has to be longrod21 with his wanting to hook up. There are better places for that *cough*tinder*cough*


Number of dates: 0


I won’t be deactivating my profile. If I remember correctly, you can still message people now without paying. I won’t however, be actively participating (meaning I’m not going to be browsing men, but rather, just responding if someone reaches out).

What are your thoughts? What should I do next (and don’t say Tinder!)?

The Cultural Significance Of Black Hermione

23 Dec

While I don’t think that JK Rowling’s reaction means that Hermione being black is or is not canon, I do think that Hermione could very well be black without any stretch of the imagination.


The fact of the matter is Black girls deserve to see themselves as magical, intelligent, and central in their own stories.

Source: The Cultural Significance Of Black Hermione

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 23

21 Dec

I must say that I really wish flux capacitor guy wasn’t in New Mexico. I’m not quite sure how to skirt around the long distance issue, but I’m enjoying chatting with him (even if the conversation isn’t quick back and forth).

I’m also looking at some potential self-sabotage. I briefly mentioned it yesterday, and I’m not quite sure if that is what is going on or not. I keep looking at guys in the area and for some reason I can’t click “intrigued” or I can’t message them. I can’t tell if it’s because I have difficulty wrapping my head around getting a boyfriend, if going on a first date is just terrifying, or if there is really a reason behind my lack of interest. There is definitely a possibility for that last one, which would be the best reason. I look through these profiles, and with some guys I just have difficulty seeing myself with them. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ll keep you updated.

Messages Sent: 1
Messages Received: 1 
Conversations: 1

About the guy: 26, Environmental Engineer with a masters, 6’4″ *swoon*,  he says his perfect Sunday ends with “nuzzling with a honey badger”, secretly wants to be “a flux capacitor”
His date: How about we…Skype
My reservations: He lives in New Mexico :(

Intrigued by:
6 (almost exclusively just picture “likes”) – had to perform a search for these guys
Mutual Intrigues: 0

Things learned (general): the number of bisexual men is minimal (unsure why that is)
Things learned about myself: I’m banking on cute cat guy because cute cat guy is cute, even though he was like the first guy I was intrigued by…
Something I challenged myself to do: nothing today, but something tells me I should probably try to connect with someone that my brain is telling me not to…

Most bizarre/shocking: nothing to report today, either…maybe that I’m making some long distance considerations that are probably unhealthy? *sigh*


Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey:30 Days of Online Dating

On the Subject of Dating…Why Not Talk About Orgasms?

20 Dec

Come one, come all! (See what I did there?)

I invite you to read this article, which seems to think that vaginal orgasms are a myth? Click me.

In summary, lady has lots of sex to try to get a vaginal orgasm, and comes to the conclusion that a) they don’t exist, b) if they do exist, they aren’t worth it, c) anal orgasms aren’t worth it either.

Now, if you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I tell all (for the most part) and may even overshare on occasion. I don’t really have much on my end to add to the conversation (until you actually engage me, then we can discuss), but I will say there were stages I went through when I read this.

Stage 1: Curiosity. Vaginal orgasms don’t exist? Science? Is that you?
Stage 2: Confusion. But…are you sure? Cause *looks down*. I think you’re wrong. But…*looks up* are you sure????
Stage 3: Paranoia. Is my whole life a lie? It’s all made up! It’s all in my head. Does this mean I’m crazy? Am I in a weird sex coma where things aren’t what they seem? Anyone? SOMEONE!?
Stage 4: Anger. DON’T LIE TO ME! I KNOW WHAT I’VE FELT!! How dare you make me question my vagina!
Stage 5: Acceptance? Lady sounds crazy and kind of bitter. Thus, I declare a), b), and c) false.


Your turn! Do you believe vaginal orgasms to be a myth? Experience to share to support your thoughts? 

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 22

20 Dec

I can’t say today has been the most exciting, BUT more happened today than yesterday, so that’s good.  You might have to go to day 5/6 to remember, but flux capacitor guy from NM messaged me back. Unless something gives, or something dramatic happens with this particular guy, I think I might have exhausted the usefulness of this website. It’s so unfortunate, because the premise is really great.

Messages Sent: 1
Messages Received: 1
Conversations: 1

What we talked about: our respective last road trips…he went to some hot springs in NM and I went to some hot springs in CO…go figure!

About the guy: 26, Environmental Engineer with a masters, 6’4″ *swoon*,  he says his perfect Sunday ends with “nuzzling with a honey badger”, secretly wants to be “a flux capacitor”
His date: How about we…Skype
My reservations: He lives in New Mexico :(

Intrigued by:
Mutual Intrigues: 0

Things learned (general): people take a really long time to respond?
Things learned about myself: I might have reached a point of self-sabotage…
Something I challenged myself to do: nothing

Most bizarre/shocking:  unfortunately…nothing to report


Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey:30 Days of Online Dating

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 21

19 Dec

Well. Nothing happened today. And I mean nothing.

No messages, no responses, no men to look at.

Is that it? Is that the end of the line for this website? I don’t even know what to do next…

I guess I’ll update today’s blog if something exciting happens in the next 3 hours…otherwise…

Au revoir!


Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey:30 Days of Online Dating

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 20

18 Dec

If there is one thing I’ve learned about this online dating thing…it’s that you can’t really be passive about it. I’ve been going through this “speed date” game everyday, checking my viewers, and hoping for a match or for a nice fellow to message me.

And I’m doing it all wrong.

While I may not be able to do this offline and face-to-face, it’s time to take control. I’ve decided to start messaging a portion of the men I’m interested in, and who knows? Maybe it’ll rub off onto my offline dating (yeah…right!).

Messages Sent: 1
Messages Received: 0
Conversations: 0

About the guy: he loves cats, hates the snow/love dry heat, liberal and an athiest, adorable hair, a decent picture, loves movies and cooking, same age as me
His date: 
Go to a restaurant neither of us have been to and then go to a movie neither of us would be caught dead in.
My reservations:
none, actually…well…I guess his profile technically says he wants kids some day…

Intrigued by:

Mutual Intrigues: 0

Things learned (general): I haven’t really learned it, but I’ve decided that if your profile picture is of anything other than yourself, and you don’t have any pictures of yourself, you must be unattractive and/or very self-conscious about it; how to write a good “first message” (and I’m kind of ashamed I had to Google it…); apparently you can reach “the end” of the guys…
Things learned about myself: 
Something I challenged myself to do: post more date ideas

Most bizarre/shocking: I didn’t think I’d ever look at a picture on someone’s profile and think in my head “are you a…magician???”


Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey:30 Days of Online Dating

Recipe: Cranberry Hazelnut Holiday Pesto

17 Dec

I’m a really big fan of pesto and the endless possibilities to make it! This pesto is a mild version with all of your holiday favorites coming together for one delicious dish. I served it at my holiday party and it was a huge hit!

Unfortunately (for you and me), because of the stress of working an 8 hour day then coming home to host a party, I don’t have any pictures to show you. With any luck, I’ll make it again before the end of the year and then you can see how beautiful this dish is. And I DO mean beautiful…it brings together the classic green and red we think of for Christmas.

When I was experimenting with ingredients for this pesto, I tried to make it season-appropriate, sticking with ingredients you see a lot of in the winter. I think I captured the holiday spirit well, and I really think you should make this at your next get together! Spring and summer are all about fresh and bright, and fall is a very earthy, warm season. Winter though, while warm, also is a lot about sweets and dessert, so I definitely made it a point to channel that into this recipe. This particular pesto is probably served best on bread or crackers, but you might also be able to do some interesting pizza-dessert type things with it, too.


Cranberry Hazelnut Holiday Pesto:

1/2 cup fresh cranberries
1 cup fresh kale
1/2 cup hazelnuts, shelled and roasted
1/4 cup canola oil (or more)
2 Tbs homemade salted caramel drizzle (more or less to taste)
dried cranberries (I used Craisins)
1/8 cup Welsh cheddar, grated
sea salt/kosher salt/coarse salt

2 french baguettes OR whole wheat crackers OR salted caramel crackers

Homemade salted caramel drizzle:

1/2 cup granulated sugar
3 Tbs butter, cut into pieces
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 tsp. salt


First, take the cranberries and toss them into the food processor. Make sure that you don’t leave behind any large pieces. If you only have one food processor, spoon out the cranberries into a bowl and set aside. Rinse out your food processor to get the remaining cranberries. We are going to process the kale and the cranberries separately to maintain the red and green – if you process them at the same time, your pesto will turn a brown color, and while it will taste the same, it isn’t going to be as visually appealing!

Next, you’ll want to blanch the kale. I removed the large stem parts of the kale so that only the leaves were left. Boil a small pot of water and have a bowl of cold (or ice) water handy. Dunk the kale in the boiling water for about 10 seconds. At the end of the 10 seconds, immediately take it out and dip it into the cold water (this will stop the cooking process). Take the kale out of the cold water, and gently pat the excess water off with a paper towel.

While the kale dries off a bit, take your hazelnuts and shell them (this is assuming you bought them in the shell – I couldn’t find any already shelled). Take these and toss them into a skillet over medium-high heat. Move these around in your pan while they are toasting until the get a deep, brown color. Make sure not to char them!

Now, toss the kale and the hazelnuts into the food processor. Once everything is pretty well processed, add your oil. You are going to want a smooth, easily spreadable consistency, but not liquid. Once you get there, add just a little more.

Take this out of the food processor, and grab the cranberries you processed and set aside earlier. Put these in the same bowl, and using a spoon, mix. You’ll see that really pretty red and green come together. I’m pretty sure this is what Christmas should taste like. This is your pesto! You can set this aside, because now we have to make the caramel!

(Don’t be scared, its easy!)

Grab a large saucepan, and toss in your sugar. Turn up the heat to high and stir, stir, stir! The sugar is going to clump, but keep on stirring and eventually it will melt. Once the sugar melts, keep stirring until it turns into your desired caramel color (light, medium, dark). Mine was classic medium.

Once you’ve reached your desired color, add your butter. It is going to bubble, but keep stirring until everything is melted together.

Now, you’ll slowly add the cream to this mixture. Cook for another minute, and then remove from the heat.

Stir in the salt. Allow to cool – for our purposes you don’t need to have it cool all the way because we will have to be able to pour it and we don’t want to have to warm it back up.

Now, its time to assemble everything! If you are using bread, I highly recommend cutting the bread, then toasting it in the oven until its a nice golden color. Because pesto is so versatile by nature, you can definitely use something other than bread if you’d like!

Take a spoonful of the pesto and spread it onto your bread or cracker. This next part is to taste, so more or less depending on what tastes good to you:

Take 2-4 Craisins and sprinkle them over the top of the pesto. Now take a pinch of the Welsh cheddar, and sprinkle it evenly over the top of the pesto. Finally, you’ll take a spoonful of the caramel and drizzle it in a zig-zag pattern over the top of everything. To top it off, take a pinch of coarse salt and sprinkle it over the caramel.

Voila! Your cranberry hazelnut holiday pesto is complete!

If you don’t want to assemble this for everyone, you can put your pesto into a bowl, toss the Craisins, cheddar, and caramel on top and folks can use it as a dip for their bread and crackers.


Tried my recipe? Sound off in the comments!

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 19 (I’m Back!)

17 Dec

I deeply apologize to all of my readers who were following my blog when I suddenly fell off the planet.

Day 9 I spent cleaning my house to prepare for a holiday party I was hosting the next day.
Day 10 was spent at the holiday party (you’ll see a blog from that next).
Days 11-17 were spent without internet, and its quite difficult to online date and blog when you have no internet. I could’ve done it on my lunch break on my computer at work, buttttttt I’d rather not have that stuff on the history there.
Day 18 I got my internet back, but I spent the evening at the work holiday party.

So here I am! I’m back, and I have absolutely nothing to report. It’s actually a little sad. No messages, nobody looking at my profile (well…there was this one guy…but we won’t go there), and it doesn’t appear I have any speed date interest either.

Okay. I checked again JUST for you, dear readers, and this guy I messaged first who has an adorable baby goat in his picture and who is also really attractive looked at my profile, but I never got a response from him. My guess is that he doesn’t actually pay for the site, which makes it even more difficult to use. Too bad, though, because he is a cutie!

Messages Sent: 0
Messages Received: 0
Conversations: 0

Intrigued by:
9 (one of which who sounds pretty cool, but has terrible hair – he will henceforth be known as “terrible hair guy” and another guy who not only doesn’t want kids, but is in vet school)
Mutual Intrigues: 0

Things learned (general): this website is such a great idea, if only it was a more popular site
Things learned about myself: If a potential match has filled out the “Has a weakness for girls who…” with something that doesn’t match me, I’m much less likely to click “intrigued” (so far tonight: blondes, dark hair with blue eyes..);
Something I challenged myself to do: n/a

Most bizarre/shocking:  pimpskater is 31, has a picture of him on a skateboard, and wants to “go to a park and chill” (man-child, anyone?); lurch wants to cuddle, spelled “field” incorrectly, and used “aint” in his profile


Want to follow my dating excursion? Go here to begin the journey:30 Days of Online Dating

30 Days of Online Dating: Day 8

6 Dec

This is a busy week for me, so I’m hoping come Wednesday/Friday I’ll be a little more active and have a little more to report. I have, however, pushed myself to interact with the website at least once every day, regardless of what else is going on.

It does seem that a lot of you…and I mean a LOT…seem to think very highly of OKCupid. I don’t think I can juggle more than one dating site at a time, so keep an eye out for 30 Days of Online Dating, Part Deux when my HowAboutWe subscription is up.

And thanks to one loyal reader, I found this little gem:

I would think that if there is ChristianMingle, BlackPeopleMeet, FarmersOnly, and a host of others, you would think that there would be a credible niche dating site for those who don’t want children. I’m not that rare of a breed, am I? Does this mean I’m going to die alone? Probably.

In case you’re wondering on my stats, I’m “intrigued” on 4 fellas today. No word from mister New Mexico, so I guess unless I call him that ship sailed.

So, dearest readers, until tomorrow…I bid you adieu.

What should me dating style be…more dates or more “compatibility”?