Parents Kissing Kids, Too Sexual?

20 Sep

I found an article on my Facebook feed warning parents not to kiss their children on the lips because the child may perceive that as sexual or romantic in nature because Mommy and Daddy do it.

To that, I have to ask…why the hell do we have to over-sexualize everything?

Children do not have this perception of sexuality that adults do. When a child masturbates, it is simply because it feels good – the same type of good like the sun hitting your face or your feet on the grass. When a child sees Mommy and Daddy kissing, they don’t have this philosophical inner dialogue about the emotional and physical constitution of the kiss. They see two people loving each other. So when Mommy kisses her son or daughter on the mouth, she knows that Mommy loves her, and Mommy knows that she loves her back.

As fate would have it, I also have personal experience to support this.

When I was about 5, I got “in trouble” with my teacher because I kissed a little boy in my class. My parents are both amazing people, so they completely dismissed the teacher’s concern. Why? Simply because I was showing affection toward him, just like I did my parents.

I can also speak from experience that as you discover your sexuality, you do become aware that you are kissing your parents on their lips, and you naturally gravitate toward a newer, more “acceptable” place – the cheek. The lips then become reserved for lovers. (I will hold that in moments of sweet innocence, we sometimes will revert back to that youthful kiss on the lips.)

I question this psychologists relationship with her parents, too. I have a relationship that if I go home, at the age of 25, and find one or both of my parents laying down watching TV in their bed, I will still crawl into bed with them and snuggle. I’d even say that I’m a very needy 25-year-old child, as I’m constantly asking my parents for hugs. I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks this behavior odd, too.

Do you think we over-sexualize things? Is it acceptable to kiss parents on the lips? Is it confusing? 

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3 Responses to “Parents Kissing Kids, Too Sexual?”

  1. buddy71 September 20, 2015 at 9:11 pm #

    over sexualize? yes

    in my family, we were not very affectionate. it is the reason, i feel, that i crave affection and like to cuddle, hand hold, etc. now if i could just find the woman who will like it too and return the affection…

    as for kissing parents on the lips, it is not for me to kiss my mom on the lips but i see nothing wrong if someone was brought up that way

  2. L September 21, 2015 at 6:25 pm #

    I definitely agree we over-sexualize everything. In a lot of European and Latin American cultures people greet each other with kisses (same or opposite sex). We’re just a very hands-off society. I don’t know as though that’s a good thing. Physical touch has been shown to have mental and physical health benefits, and I personally enjoy being hugged, kissed, whatever (despite having no romantic feelings toward anyone).

    • mishie1 September 21, 2015 at 6:28 pm #

      I hate that about the US. Physical contact is such a wonderful thing.

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