The Road to Peace

10 Sep

To say that I’ve been struggling lately is quite the understatement, as the universe seems to have handed me the perfect storm. Feeling the need to find a new job is one thing, as is feeling the need to move. But the overwhelming urgency to find a new job, a new car, a new place to live in a new town, a boyfriend, and wanting to get rid of your pets without the support of friends, said boyfriend, or said pets is a different story entirely.

I’m no stranger to this, though, and after a somewhat embarrassing gush of emotion to a friend I discovered that nothing would change unless I centered myself and focused my efforts on something. The problem isn’t these things. 

The problem was me.

I spread myself so thin worrying about all of these things, that everything was crumbling and slipping through my fingers, no matter how desperately I tried to hold on and pick up the pieces.

I needed to do some soul-searching and find my center again. Most people wouldn’t describe me as “spiritual”, if for no other reason than the fact that I’m atheist.

I would, though. I am a very spiritual person.

[Some might also call me superstitious, but that is a story for another day.]

What did I do? Well, I sat down on my bed and did some brief meditating over my tarot cards, and I did 3 spreads. In those spreads, I found my answer. I found what I needed to let go of, and what I needed to work on. And it was wonderful.

The next day, I got home from work, and did my very first yoga session, armed with nothing but me, a towel, and a very excitable, very eager dog.

Rinse, and repeat.

Today, I had a tai chi session, followed by a yoga session, followed by a delightful session of writing. Sometimes you strive for so much control, that you begin losing control. That was where I was. The universe had different plans for me, and to gain the control I am looking for in my life, it just turns out I had to give up the control, first.


4 Responses to “The Road to Peace”

  1. buddy71 September 11, 2015 at 1:07 pm #

    one must know where they are, to be able to know where to go or they just drift.
    some things are a necessity, like a job or a car. others are just frosting on the cake.

    anyone of the things above you talk about can be a handful. but combining them? overwhelming!

    tell me what is the reason of having a boyfriend so important? maybe getting it out, it can be then truly seen for what it is

    i do wish you would post more often

  2. L September 11, 2015 at 6:56 pm #

    I’m all too familiar with the stresses of life. I drive a shitty old Ford Focus (a 2000 year model at that) that the clutch is going out in, I live in a janky place and have a rather miserable and boring office job at the moment. Life has a way of sucking something fierce.

    You’ll figure it out. It’s a struggle, I know.

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