Archive | June, 2015

How To Stop Wanting To Be Thin

27 Jun

Because even if I was thin, and had abs, I would never be a size 5, I probably wouldn’t even be a size 10. My body just isn’t built that way, and I’m happy filling my skin. This is a lovely blog.

Thought Catalog

People Magazine People Magazine

A few years agoduring some holiday gathering or another, I sat with my family and we played one of those charade games where you ask questions to get people to say words and those words combine into a phrase and your team only has a fixed amount of time to get it right. One of the questions someone used to get us to say the word “weight,” was: “What’s something that everybody wants to lose?” Every person in the room answered simultaneously, without missing a beat. Weight.

The thing about the wars against ourselves is that winning isn’t succeeding, but surrendering. The paradox is that what life is really about is un-growth. It’s about un-learning to do, and re-learning to be.

As much as it is about becoming who you are, its about peeling off the layers that you’re not. Pain is just resistance, and it’s born of…

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The Day “Gay Marriage” Became “Marriage”

26 Jun

Today is a day that will be written into the history books.

Those of us advocating for LGBT rights have long been looking for the legalization of gay marriage. It is so obviously a denial of basic rights, and is so tangible, that it has been the forerunner for civil rights denied by the LGBT community. Today, it became not something to fight for, but a door that has now opened. Because anyone can be married now regardless of sex, gender, or orientation, “gay marriage” is now just “marriage. And that is something to be excited about!

We took this away from those who have used it as a backbone to their arguments that LGBT people are apparently different than everyone else. Now, we can use this momentum to tear down other barriers to things like adoption, life saving blood donations, and instead of tolerance we can seek acceptance. A same-sex married couple doesn’t have any influence on anyone’s lives but there own, so what is there to tolerate? Nothing. Because everyone should be accepting.

The ruling by the Supreme Court of the United States today, wasn’t a landslide movement, however. Four of the nine members voted against it, and while their reasons are their own, it is hard to say why. These 4 people are holding that their reasons for voting against it was because it was unconstitutional to take away the rights of individual states to decide their own laws. It is hard for me to accept that this is their reason for voting against it.

Considering that in Loving v. Virginia the decision was unanimous, we still have a long way to go. I find it very interesting that in that supreme court ruling, that marriage was a “fundamental freedom”, and that the “freedom to marry or not marry…resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the state” while citing the 14th amendment of the constitution lends me to believe that the 4 dissents were of no result of the constitution, but of simple bigotry.

Section 1 of Amendment XIV states:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.


Sounds to me as though yes, the states screwed up. Yes, due process of law landed this issue in the supreme court. And YES, those states were denying the rights of their citizens, which is unconstitutional, and why no, today’s landmark decision is NOT unconstitutional. These 4 folks just found themselves on the wrong side of history.

Yay history!! Now my coworker can adopt another pet and her wife will be able to easily divorce her.


Dissents of the 4 supreme court justices.
Text of Amendment XIV.
And a really awesomely done video about it all.


Please, if you feel as though I got it wrong, I would love to hear your comments as I’m not a lawyer nor a judge (or any expert in the law, for that matter). Make sure you include reference material, though, because I don’t need a bunch of bigoted bullshit cluttering up my space. 

Aside 24 Jun

I just heard feminism supported in the best way I think I’ve ever heard.

People confuse a change in power with equality.

Equality is not women having power over men, nor is it men having power over women. At best, it is about the individual having power over oneself, but really…it is about being EQUAL. You know…it is in the name after all. “Equality”

For Those Of Us Missing A Dad On Father’s Day

21 Jun

Love you, Dad. Hope Mom was able to take you a Pepsi today…

Thought Catalog

Ari's InstagramAri’s Instagram


I’m giving you a virtual hug or pizza or whatever is a comfort to you, even if it’s just a temporary one.

I know, just as you do, there is no quick fix to this feeling. I can’t string together the perfect collection of words to make it better or easier. If I could, I’d be doing it always. I’d be traveling the world helping grieving children feel a little less hollow. But I don’t. Frankly, I’m not sure such a thing even exists.

All I know to say is you aren’t alone, as isolated as you may feel. Someone else out there is missing a father. Someone else out there is hating this holiday because of what it does to you.

It reminds you.

These days have a way of sneaking up. The milestones. The holidays. The aching hole that, most days, you can convince yourself…

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Aside 16 Jun

There is something much more hurtful about the words “wrongful death” than “malpractice”.

5 Theories On “American Horror Story” And How The Seasons Are Connected

13 Jun

Thought Catalog

Youtube, American Horror StoryYoutube, American Horror Story

“American Horror Story” recently accomplished the very impressive task of replacing “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” as my favorite television show. (Sorry, Ari!)

There’s just so much for a horror fan to love. A different setting each season, beloved actors playing new roles (lookin’ at you, Sarah Paulson, you beautiful creature of light), themes and plot lines darker than the other side of the moon. And it’s done something that even the goriest of slasher flicks have failed to do these days: it scares me.

Probably the most intriguing thing about it so far is that director/creator Ryan Murphy has stated that all the seasons are connected and we’re just starting to find out how. What a cool concept, but something you have to remember is that Ryan Murphy likely never had this in mind until Season 4 when he decided to include Season 2’s Pepper…

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I Found My Sister’s Diary After She Disappeared

13 Jun

Thought Catalog

Flickr / Kévin CouetteFlickr / Kévin Couette

I looked up to my older sister, literally. She was much taller than I, at 6’1” with long porcelain-white legs. She looked fragile, because she was. She was underweight, but that’s not the type of fragile that I mean; she had her personal issues that ate away at her soul like mites munching on the thin leaves of rose bushes. Growing up, she didn’t have any friends. In addition to being very tall, she was also very quiet. Although she was kind, she didn’t quite know how to open up, to let people love her. She always kept her head down when she walked. She hunched her shoulders, in a sad attempt to blend in and be shorter. A lot of people thought that Emma was strange, and I suppose she knew what people thought, but we never talked about it.

Emma had a passion for…

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