The Weirdest Place I’ve Ever Pottied

10 Feb

Leave it to me to have went to the bathroom in random and sketchy places.

Unless you do that all the time, too…then it’s either a weird societal thing OR we should be best friends.

I’ve used mountain outhouses when my toilet was clogged, metal toilets that felt like icicles, back-of-the-house unheated liquor-store and otherwise non-public restrooms, and even urged a couple of friends to use park bathrooms that looked like someone was murdered in…

But this has to be the weirdest.

Also in character, I was in a costume shop that wasn’t anything less than sketchy with a friend who had just happened upon it. There were piles of shoes (very literally) for sale, things draped off of hooks that probably should have been in packages, and it was dingy and cold (really cool stuff, otherwise!). I was planning on holding it until we went to Wal-Mart, as I knew this place wouldn’t have a public bathroom.

Then, nature hit. Had to go or I was going to go in my pants. I, very urgently, asked the lady who was watching over the shop if she by chance had a restroom I could use. She said that it wasn’t in the best condition and she isn’t supposed to, but that she would make an exception. I turned around to go to the back of the store, but lo and behold…this bathroom was 2 doors down.

She takes me outside and two doors down (we were in a strip mall..thing) and we walk into the other half of the store – unmanned, mind you – which rents costumes instead of selling them. Absolutely no heating in THIS part. We walk to the back of the store and she shows me the bathroom.

Not only was there no heating, but there wasn’t a light.

Or a door.

Just a drape. And a toilet. And the drape didn’t even cover the door…it was just tacked up and hanging limp to one side. She then tells me that the water doesn’t really work.

Cue blank stare.

Then she assures me the toilet works fine, but I won’t be able to wash my hands. Fabulous.

So, she leaves me be. What I can only assume was the door to the bathroom was leaning against the wall, opposite of the curtain, so I pulled the other edge of the curtain and tried to drape it on the door. Unfortunately, that didn’t work, so I had to actually move the door and lay it back down on the curtain.

Had anyone come my way, they would have been able to easily see me over the top of the curtain.

Luckily enough there was toilet paper…and she didn’t lie about the toilet flushing.

And THAT, my friends, is the weirdest place I’ve ever went to the bathroom.

Have you went to the bathroom in any strange places? What was the strangest?

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3 Responses to “The Weirdest Place I’ve Ever Pottied”

  1. buddy71 February 10, 2015 at 9:48 pm #

    oh boy, potty stories. lol
    i have had to pull off the freeway and onto the shoulder and go potty due to a sudden attack of diarrhea. yes there were lots of cars going by.
    in 1985, i was climbing on mt. mckinley. at the camp site at the 14,200 foot level if you needed to use the toilet, a box was out in the middle of the snow field and the camp and was in full view of everyone at the camp. you sat on the box and did your business. no covering. at least you knew if the “toilet” was occupied. lol
    i have taken a pee off the fantail ( the back end) of a navy ship.

  2. wallsofwinterfell February 15, 2015 at 3:36 pm #

    LOL! I’ve actual gone in some weird places. But the grossest one was when I was hiking in Peru. We had to stop off at a campsite, which had stalls. But as my boyfriend at the time put it, they were like the “Aegean Stables.” Flies literally swarmed out when I opened the door. And the odor is something I cannot describe at all.

    • mishie1 February 16, 2015 at 9:36 pm #

      That’s impressive

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