A Bologna Sandwich

6 Jan

Sometimes, when you’re grieving, that’s all it takes.

Only a few days after my dad passed away, my mom made lunch for everyone. It just so happened that she was making fried bologna sandwiches, a childhood favorite of mine. If you haven’t had it, try it! It’s pretty damned good.

I put my sandwich together, held it in one hand and went to grab a plate. I looked down at it for a second, looked up at my mom and all I had to say was “This reminds me of Dad” to start to well up with tears. It’s true though, he was always the one who made them for lunch.

To stop myself from completely crying, I had to go so far as to set the sandwich down. I told me mom “The last thing I need to do is cry over a damn bologna sandwich”.

My father’s death was expected. And at least for me, it isn’t the day to day monotony that makes me sad or overwhelms me, or even talking about it – it’s the little things that unexpectedly pop up that you aren’t prepared for that upset me. A song, a trinket, a memory…a sandwich. That is really all it takes.

But I’m doing okay.

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3 Responses to “A Bologna Sandwich”

  1. April January 6, 2015 at 10:20 pm #

    *hugs*

  2. buddy71 January 7, 2015 at 9:04 am #

    I like bologna sandwiches and may even have them for dinner. I sometimes even fry the bologna. :)

  3. L January 7, 2015 at 9:59 am #

    Again, I know how you feel. When my great-grandmother passed away in December 2002 it was a very difficult time for me. She was like the only person in my family I had a good relationship with at the time. It’s been over 12 years since she’s been gone, but I still can’t help but think of her whenever I make my New Year’s day sukiyaki, eat some great sushi or drink a glass of sake (she was Japanese).

    It’s indeed those little things that remind us of the ones we’ve loved and lost.

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