The Consequence of Facebook on Friendship

2 Oct

Have you ever been scrolling through your Facebook feed and you see something like this:

Hey everyone. I just deleted a whole bunch of friends, and if you are friends with Milly Anderson, please delete her. I don’t want to associate with people who associate with her.

Surprisingly, it seems to happen a lot.

If you know anything about me, you likely know that I am not afraid to remove toxic people from my life, and that includes Facebook. I have two methods I use very frequently:

1) If we are good friends, or I would generally like to keep in touch with you and Facebook is the best way, but I don’t like your posts I will unfollow you.
2) If we are not good friends, and you continually post offensive or negative posts I will delete you.

It’s relatively drama-free.

The consequence of social media is that even if you do this, your business may (or may not…people really, really  don’t usually care about your life and aren’t going to inquire) be spread through other people who are still on your friend list. This is where people ask others to delete Milly Anderson or face losing a friendship. But your business still might be spread.

That isn’t okay. I’m sure Milly is an okay person and has every right to have friends that you do. This isn’t to mention that this is an ineffective way to stop spreading information.

It’s the internet. Unfortunately, some people are awful and they deserve to be deleted, but its not fair to try to govern other people’s lives and relationships. When I remove people from my friend groups (offline), I acknowledge that I can’t make others not be friends with them. That isn’t my choice to make.

What is the motivating factor behind asking people to delete people just because you are having issues? Do you think it is effective, and have you ever done it? Do you do that in offline relationships?

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7 Responses to “The Consequence of Facebook on Friendship”

  1. erikamsteele October 2, 2014 at 8:48 pm #

    I don’t understand it, especially since the majority of the people I am friends with are adults. I could understand the behavior if we were still in high school. I wouldn’t do it on-line at all. The only reason I would do it offline is if the person I was trying to get out of my life was dangerous.

    • autumnstrength October 3, 2014 at 12:33 am #

      I’d stay friends with Milly Anderson and delete the childish fuck who posted that playground bullshit!

      • mishie1 October 3, 2014 at 9:45 am #

        And that makes SO much more sense to me.

    • mishie1 October 3, 2014 at 9:45 am #

      That is a really, REALLY good point. They are adults.

  2. girlforgetful October 3, 2014 at 6:26 am #

    The last time I was asked to make a choice like that was high school. The requestor lost that decision. A real friend wouldn’t ask such a thing, unless the third party was really dangerous.

    • mishie1 October 3, 2014 at 9:47 am #

      erikamsteele made a really good point that you touched on too. We are adults.

      And I’ve never seen a person have any support tat the other party was dangerous at all.

      And the one time danger was at risk, that person completely got rid of their old profile, moved, changed numbers, and got a new profile (and was VERY selective of who to add). Because you can’t control others.

  3. quirkyintrovert October 3, 2014 at 12:33 pm #

    I haven’t encountered anyone asking their friends to delete another person from their friends list, but that could be because I’m not on Facebook much. When I first started using fb, I wanted to accumulate as many friends as possible, but these past two years I’ve decided that if someone really isn’t my friend, there’s no point in keeping him or her there.

    Asking someone to delete someone else is childish. I can see someone wanting their friends to do that if they don’t want to see that person’s activity on their friends’ posts, but they have no right to dictate who other people can be friends with. In that case, unfollowing those friends might be the most practical action.

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