Peace of Mind

12 Sep

This weekend I was finally able to visit my father since the news of hiscancer. I was nervous at first, and then frustrated, but I’m really glad I went because even though the news hasn’t changed and progress hasn’t really been made, I have acquired some peace of mind.

The peace of mind came from two things. Two very simple things.

The first thing was something I’ve been contemplating since we found out. Should I or shouldn’t I move back to be with my family? My mom tells me just as frequently as I tell her that I should move back. While it definitely would have some perks, I find it hard to abandon my job and my home here to move back home where I may not find a job in my field. I decided that I would ask my dad, and whatever he said I would do. So I did. I’ll not be moving back. He said that there wasn’t anything I could do, and he loves me of course, but he also is pretty level-headed. And its true. I did spend every second I could with my dad on Thursday, but he was only awake for about 8 hours, so while me being there was nice it isn’t like he is spending 16 hours awake alone.

The second thing, which is probably more comforting, is what he said to me this morning before he left for a doctors appointment.

I’ll come up to see you soon. We’ll get this thing shrunken and I’ll come up. I’m going to fight this. I’m a fighter, Annie.

To see that fight still left in my dad was everything I could have asked for. Even if the treatment renders him unable to actually visit me, knowing that he hasn’t given up and wants to win his battle with cancer makes it all okay. And even if we all feel completely defeated right now, he gives me hope.

Advertisements

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: