That Time I Got a Purity Ring

22 Mar

Okay, so not really.

But, the purity ring thing has came full circle again, and is getting media attention as “sweeping the nation”. Well, news flash, news reporters: it’s been around for quite a while and is not nearly as new or spreading as dramatically as you’d like us to believe.

A friend of mine posted a link to an article about it, which you can find here.

If you don’t want to read the article, and have no idea what a purity ball is, then I’ll break it down for you.

A purity ball is a ceremony through a young girl’s (think 12) church, in which she pledges to abstain from any physical contact (I don’t know about hugging, but kissing, definitely) until after she is married. At least in some ceremonies, the girls wear white wedding-like dresses and they dance with their fathers. In the article, the father becomes the “boyfriend” and pledges to protect the girls virginity/purity until she is married.

Here is what I like about this idea:

1. Young girls are deciding that they are too young to engage in very mature physical relationships
2. Fathers are involved in their daughter’s lives
3. You get an awesome ring and get to wear a pretty dress
4. You get to dance with your dad, and dads are pretty awesome too
5. These families are maintaining innocence in a world that wants children to grow up really, really quickly

Here is what I find completely irrelevant:

1. Fathers are deemed their “boyfriends”
2. The ceremonies resemble marriage ceremonies in any way (including the white dress)

And here is what is wrong with this:

1. Many girls are likely not choosing that they wish to remain “pure” until marriage
2. Male purity ceremonies aren’t receiving as much attention (though they exist)
3. By abstaining from any form of physical contact, girls are missing out on very important social milestones in their lives

Now I’m going to break it down a little further for you, because depending on your views on this, you are probably outraged that I don’t find it creepy that fathers are called boyfriends and they go through marriage-like ceremonies. Actually, you probably find me creepy now. Oh well, read on.

The reason I consider the irrelevant things irrelevant, are because they are. Every little girl wants to marry her dad, because her dad is her world when she is little. And its sweet. We should hold onto that innocence, especially when children seem to be wanting to grow up younger and younger. As for the wedding-like ceremonies, all ceremonies in the church involve girls in pretty white dresses and boys in suits. I was baptized in a white dress. Girls wear white dresses at Quinceaneras. Get over it, it doesn’t matter – but it does go to show that even though we say we aren’t stuck in this rut of social norms that we areOf course…I do feel like most church ceremonies are cult-like, and that really freaks me out, but that’s a thought for another blog.

Maybe I’m a little less creepy now? Anyway, in any circle that has a lot of push and influence, you are often not provided the resources to make your own choices. You are given one decision, that everyone you know makes, and you can only assume that is the only way because you know nothing else. This means that, unfortunately, most of these girls are probably only told that there is one right way, and that this is it, so they aren’t making their own choices.

I also find it immensely entertaining hearing banter about this being yet another way to “control women”. Sure, it probably is, but I want you to consider why male purity ceremonies aren’t receiving as much attention. Is it because we say “good…those boys need to keep it in their pants!” because hello…double standard. We can’t be mad that we are trying to control women, and not be equally as mad that we are trying to control men. We should be mad that they exist, not that they exist for women. We should be mad that male purity ceremonies aren’t getting news coverage. I think that may be the reason that we aren’t giving male purity ceremonies the same attention…but that’s just speculation. I don’t actually know.

And finally, when you can’t kiss until you get married, this is what happens:

And nobody wants to be part of that. God, it’s like a car-wreck. Can’t. Look. Away. AH.

It’s also like saying that once you kiss someone, we are all just too heathen to abstain from having massive orgies…or even just normal, missionary sex with someone you really care about.

Those orgies. Whew.

What do you think of purity ceremonies? Do you find it creepy? Do you think the good outweigh the bad, or vice versa? 

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One Response to “That Time I Got a Purity Ring”

  1. bagpipesandbells March 22, 2014 at 4:59 pm #

    I think it is a little weird, because often times it’s a result of religious indoctrination, which is in my mind nothing short of psychological abuse.

    Also, I’m 100% in favor of pre-marital sex so I’d never have participated in one anyway. My thinking is you wouldn’t buy a car without test-driving it first so why should you marry someone without “test driving” them? Sexual compatibility is a big issue and if you’re sexually incompatible with someone that would lead to a marriage that’s destined for failure.

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