Archive | August, 2013

My Decision to Postpone College

28 Aug


When I was in 3rd grade, I made a decision that affected the rest of my life. I decided, at the ripe old age of 9, that I was going to pursue veterinary medicine as my career. To this day, that has remained my goal.

I finally finished classes for my bachelors degree, but that isn’t even close to my goal. At this point, I still have 6 years of college ahead of me, as I am going to get my vet tech certificate before going to vet school.

Originally I planned on beginning at the local community college in the fall following the completion of my bachelors, but that ended up being pushed back to the spring. In retrospect, I think that was the better decision – after being in school for 18 years, a break is inviting and welcome.

And that brings me to the present. I’ve reached a point at my current job at which I find myself unable to advance or grow, and that is, in a word…unfortunate. The unfortunate part of it all is that I don’t feel as though I am done with my non-profit job. I like the work we do, but I can’t handle another year if scooping poop and scrubbing floors.

Call me conceited, but I think I’ve paid my dues.

But, because of my decision to go back to school, I can’t work any other position at my current company.

That is why I have decided to wait until next fall to continue my education.

First, if I get the position I am applying for, I will have the opportunity to work hand-in-hand with a certified dog behaviorist. That isn’t an opportunity that comes around every day.

Second, I need a break. I need to want to study. I need to miss the knowledge.

And finally, I need to be a young adult for a while. All I have known is barely scraping by because I am going to school full time and working the rest of the time just to be able to pay bills. I want to enjoy being on my own, and being an adult, and being a 20-something while I am still a 20-something. When I finish college, I will be about 31. That’s too old to not have had some life me time.

What do you think of my decision? Are my reasons valid? What has your experience with school and your career been?

You Are What You Do

21 Aug

So true. And I think, while we should love our job, our life is more than that…we need to love where we live, and who we live with, too.

We Can All Be Bright

a-perfect-white-cup-of-steaming-coffeeAs the waitress refilled our coffee cups, I watched the steam swirl. It seemed to take such a random path.

Why?

A question I have been no stranger to lately. My own path has taken such random turns I have seen as both haphazard and unnecessary.

In the early rays of sun that eased through the window, I absorbed the warmth of this familiar scene. As far back as my memory extends, these mornings have existed. Getting up before the sun for my birthday breakfast with Dad at the Original Pancake House. Somehow, in those earlier years, I seemed to be more sure of what–and who–I wanted to be. Or maybe it was that I wasn’t as consumed by it or imposed by the fear of having already failed.

I stirred my coffee as I spilled my heart, one twice as fast as the other.
“So, teaching has pretty much fallen through for me… I wonder if…

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The Roommate Chronicles: Dealing with Death

19 Aug

I’m not sure even where to start.

I guess I can start at the beginning.

At the beginning of this month, I got a new roommate. I saw him every day for a little over a week, and then my life started to get even busier than it already is. Parties, friends, work, friends, stuff…you know how it goes.

Then, as it started to kind of slow down a tiny bit, I noticed something was wrong. I hadn’t seen him recently.

The feeling came as a smell first. Then it came as flies. Then, I panicked.

But I have great friends, and being who I am, sometimes I just need someone to talk me down and make me actually accept the logical reasons I’ve pushed to the back of my mind as actuality, and that’s just what they did.

But then, it was all validated. On Friday night, at just about midnight, the police came to my house, and discovered that my new roommate was dead in his room.

He’d been there for 5 days.

It’s kind of surreal to get that news, no matter how sure you are that’s what is wrong. Going into this situation that night, two of my friends made attempts to find him themselves, and I’m so glad they didn’t. I would feel terrible if they had been traumatized like that because of me.

I’m so thankful that door was locked.

When I started this series, I never imaged that I would be writing about this. And I almost don’t know what else to say.

Death isn’t something I’ve ever really had to cope with, and while this situation is a little different – I didn’t know him – I still need to deal with the situation.

One second, I’m over it and I just want to go home and continue with my normal routine. The next second, I’m clinging to the friends I was with that night, wishing that they never had to leave my side.

I’m currently staying at one of their houses, because my house is kind of uninhabitable at the moment, but as the week wears on I’m not sure what the next step is.

They keep telling me I need to move, but I don’t really feel that’s necessary. And I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back to my house, but the one I’m staying at kind of has an expiration date that’s coming quickly, and the other friend I can stay with will be out of town when that happens. I’m in weird limbo, and I don’t like it.

Maybe I’ll have more to say later. Maybe this is all there is.

Overprotective Parents

14 Aug

I wouldn’t generally consider my parents overprotective, but growing up with overprotective parents is much different than having overprotective parents as an adult.

I’ve always been a very independent person, and my parents have always acknowledged that and respected it. So when they pull the we’re worried about you card all of a sudden, it kind of catches me off-guard.

Not that I don’t think they worry about me. I know they do, but when they try to interfere with what I’m doing, that’s when it gets weird.

I’m planning a trip in September that involves 4 nights/5 days of hiking and camping, and I’m doing it alone. Apparently my mom and dad don’t like that idea, because when I called my mom a couple of days ago, she requested that I sleep in hotels instead.

They don’t want me to camp alone. It’s understandable why someone would worry, but I can’t afford 4 hotels. They can’t afford 4 hotels. I just don’t understand how they can expect this.

In one hand, my parents are basically offering to pay for 3 nights of hotels for me. On the other hand, I was kind of excited to camp for 3 nights. It’s really bothering me, and I don’t know what to do or how to handle it. My parents have never interfered with plans like this before. I can’t help but feeling like they don’t understand that I have no one to go with (which is kind of embarrassing to admit); I don’t think I know anyone who would actually make an effort to go with me.

Should I give in to my parents request and sleep in hotels instead of camping? Should I just camp, and how do I tell them to get over their worrying? Ever had a situation where your parents/friends/significant others do things way out of character? How did you handle it?

I Need Your Help!

12 Aug

I feel like it’s time to revamp my blog. It’s been a good few years since I did such on Xanga, and when I created this one I stuck with the same basic theme.

My tagline, however, is from 2005. I was…15…

I’m having trouble deciding if I should keep my current format so that everything I do, everything I want to do, everything I think and say are kept in the same blog (like they are now), or if I should expand and begin dividing my attentions.

One blog, which shall remain nameless until I make my decision, would be my main stuff – life events, questions, thoughts, relationships, etc.

The other blog, which has yet to be named, would be a space for fashion, tutorials, sewing, DIY, food, pictures, and things of that nature.

So…help me out. Whatcha thinking?

You’re Single, I’m Single…Let’s Date!

11 Aug

I was having a conversation today with a coworker about just how lonely it is to have neither a best friend, nor a boyfriend. Me and my coworker are basically in the same boat.

Our conversation actually led to 3 little words: LET’S BE BFF’S!!!

While we may not actually end up being real best friends, I am hopeful that we can forge a friendship that lasts outside our time spent working together.

And that brings me to my point: why aren’t relationships that easy?

They don’t even have to develop into a serious relationship, but what’s wrong with two friends, who just happen to be single, decide to try and date?

Nothing. If it goes poorly, no harm done. If it goes well, maybe you just found your soul mate!

What do you think of my proposal? Would you ever give it a shot? Should it be that easy, or is that too easy?

Aside 5 Aug

I’m so tired of feeling alone and uncared for. Someone, somewhere just has to care.