Quitting Friends

19 Sep

 

I may have posted about this before, and if so, I apologize.

I always have to ask myself is it me or is it them because I feel like I have this problem a lot. My friends aren’t there for me when I need them, and its really upsetting. There are times when one of my friendships is so one way, I just have to ask myself if its worth it. I’ve had my share of friend break-ups in the past, and I like to think they were all for good reason. If I make an effort, I expect an effort to be made for me, so when one isn’t for long enough, I’m really okay with calling it quits. It hurts, but it hurts more consistently otherwise.

There was one time when I decided it was time to call it quits. My friend, “Kevin”, had been part of my life for quite a while. We were close, but hanging out with him was impossible. I could ask him every day for a month and not see him once. It was just too frustrating, so I sent him a text telling him that if he really wanted to be my friend he would have to make all the effort, because I was done. He got really upset at that and made all these excuses and finally got me to go have pizza with him. I still consider him my friend now, but I could put in all the effort in the world and still not see him, so I don’t.

Right now, I have this gut feeling that I should break-up with another friend, but at the same time I feel like it would just be easier to stop making any effort and just let the friendship gradually fade away.

Do you or have you had any friend break-ups? How do you go about it? What was the last straw to push you over?

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3 Responses to “Quitting Friends”

  1. Maryann Murphy September 21, 2012 at 2:00 am #

    Hi there I am so delighted I found your blog, I really found you by error, while I was researching on Digg for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a marvelous post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the excellent work.

  2. autumnstrength May 31, 2013 at 9:34 pm #

    I have had this problem before. I recently had a friendship of 5 years end because of exactly this. I’ve never had lots of friends, always just a few good ones. When I’m friends with someone, I give it my all and I expect a similar amount of effort in return. This friend I had, she took advantage of me and I let her, and it got worse and worse to the point where she would tell me she couldn’t talk to me or be there for me hardly at all, but then on the very same day that she’d tell me she was too busy to talk to me, she’d call me later in the evening wanting to vent about her boyfriend or whatever, like her thoughts, issues or problems were always more important than mine, and I just had enough after a while. I brought it all up and we had a big argument and didn’t talk for weeks, then when we finally spoke again she said she was too busy to talk much anymore and she’d got this new friend she was going out with a lot, and I just felt so hurt and told her I wasn’t interested anymore. I’m still upset and hurt about it now after 6 months or more because we we’re so close.

    • mishie1 May 31, 2013 at 9:37 pm #

      That’s so rough. It sucks the most when you were very close to a person, and then it just ends (usually poorly).

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