Archive | September, 2012

Off-Limits Attraction

19 Sep

There are so many different levels of attraction out there, and things that we are attracted to, that I’m sure at one point in time we’ve all been attracted to someone who was “off-limits”. From people who are “taken” to coworkers to teachers all the way to the cop that just pulled you over, there isn’t a shortage of these people either.

Whats your off-limits type? When is it okay to take your attraction to the next level?

Quitting Friends

19 Sep


I may have posted about this before, and if so, I apologize.

I always have to ask myself is it me or is it them because I feel like I have this problem a lot. My friends aren’t there for me when I need them, and its really upsetting. There are times when one of my friendships is so one way, I just have to ask myself if its worth it. I’ve had my share of friend break-ups in the past, and I like to think they were all for good reason. If I make an effort, I expect an effort to be made for me, so when one isn’t for long enough, I’m really okay with calling it quits. It hurts, but it hurts more consistently otherwise.

There was one time when I decided it was time to call it quits. My friend, “Kevin”, had been part of my life for quite a while. We were close, but hanging out with him was impossible. I could ask him every day for a month and not see him once. It was just too frustrating, so I sent him a text telling him that if he really wanted to be my friend he would have to make all the effort, because I was done. He got really upset at that and made all these excuses and finally got me to go have pizza with him. I still consider him my friend now, but I could put in all the effort in the world and still not see him, so I don’t.

Right now, I have this gut feeling that I should break-up with another friend, but at the same time I feel like it would just be easier to stop making any effort and just let the friendship gradually fade away.

Do you or have you had any friend break-ups? How do you go about it? What was the last straw to push you over?

My Journey Through Music: Country

12 Sep


I have to say, before anything else, that country was especially difficult to get through. My apologies for how long it took me to get through this.

I had a whole bunch of help on this one. I had help from Carolina Courtland, my cousin Josh, and a friend, Ryan. I had to sort through 41 artists, which I knew very little about, and pick 10 to listen to. There was a bit of overlap, so I took the ones that they all had in common, and narrowed it down like that. This is what I came up with:

Patsy Cline
Dolly Parton
Hank Williams (Sr.)
Johnny Cash
Kenny Rogers
Garth Brooks
Reba McEntire
George Strait
George Jones
Willie Nelson

Once again, I listened to 7 songs each, picked from a list of top ten songs. That’s also the order I listened to them in, and the reason this took so long was that (unfortunately for any die-hard fans out there) I couldn’t make it through 7 songs of Hank Williams. I tried, and I tried. The first two songs I listened to – I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry and Lovesick Blues – weren’t all that bad. When I reached my third song, Your Cheatin’ Heart, I just couldn’t do it. I had that “Ohhhhh Godddddd” moment the moment it came on. The high point of my Hank Williams experience was when I listened to Hey, Good Lookin. My dad used to sing that growing up, and I didn’t know it was an actual song. Its the perfect example of some catchy, sing-whenever-you-want lyrics, but some not-so-great music.

There were a few artists that were so-so, and I don’t want to spend a whole lot of time on. Dolly Parton was the first, and although I recognized this song right away, I liked Glee’s version of Jolene much better. Reba McEntire, George Jones, and George Strait were right after one another, and none of them really impressed me. None of them were bad, but I just didn’t get a whole lot of feeling from any of their songs.

Now, back to the beginning. The first artist I listened to was Patsy Cline, and I adore her. I looked forward to listening to country when I was done listening to her. Crazy was the first song I listened to, and it had a sound similar to other non-country artists of the time. It was a sound that I liked, and her voice is beautiful.

Johnny Cash was the next artist that stood out, but I was already slightly familiar with his music. My mom loves him, so when I was in middle and high school, we would listen to it sometimes. The songs I Walk the Lineand Folsom Prison Blues were enjoyable to listen to, and I think its because they were different than all the other songs. I wasn’t crazy about any of the other ones; they were more like talking with music in the background than singing.

Kenny Rogers had more of a rock-and-roll quality than any of the artists, and so I naturally enjoyed his music. Just Dropped In and Coward of the County were my two personal faves.

After Kenny Rogers was Garth Brooks. I had to laugh a little bit when he began to sing because his voice was the epitome of country singer…low and twangy. As I listened to his songs, I found myself swooning a little over the man, and when he was younger he was definitely a looker. The last song I listened to was Rodeo and in an instant all of those feelings were gone – until I realized, that is, that the song I was listening to was him at all. It was a terrible song by somebody else, so I found his actual song and felt better. The Thunder Rolls and The River were the two songs I enjoyed most by him.

Last, but definitely not least, I listened to Willie Nelson. Him and Patsy Cline were are tied for my favorite country artist (from this list, at least…I’ll give you the scoop later). I enjoyed listening to all of his songs, and because I was building a bookshelf at the time, listened to some of them more than once. My personal favorite was Always On My Mind. It reminds me of my parents, for whatever reason. I also discovered that he, too, sings the song The Scientist. This song is the reason I don’t listen to Coldplay; I just can’t stand it. But his version was better, even though I still wasn’t completely sold.

After listening to 70 country songs, I still can’t say that I like country much more than I did before, but now I know that at least I can listen to it and, to some degree, enjoy it. Oh, and thanks for being patient with me!

Do you like country? What do you think of the list? Would you make any revisions to the artist list (or song list, if you’ve been listening)?

Body Image: My Perspective

12 Sep

Body image in respects to having a “positive” or “negative” view of it is shaped by how we think other people see us, how we see ourselves, and how we think we should see ourselves. Hypothyroidism and weight gain go hand in hand, and I’ve struggled my entire life with both. Part of my struggle with the way I see myself, is that what I see in the mirror, what I see in pictures, and what I look at when I’m just sitting here or walking around and I look down. And before you read on, please understand how personal body image is.

That girl in the picture? Such is a fat kid (I refer to myself as a fat kid in the most endearing way possible).

That girl in the mirror? Definitely a chunk.

That girl I see when I look down? So average-sized.

I can’t really explain why the three images are so different. It does bring to light how altered the images of those with anorexia and bulimia are. If you haven’t thought about it, I challenge you to do so. What I see when I look down gives me sort of a “skinny girl” outlook. The way I hold myself, my confidence, and how I dress all reflect that. The person I see when I look in the mirror is what makes me confident to smile at people walking down the street. What I see in pictures is what causes me to assume that men have no interest in me as I pass them on the street, and how I accept that I am no 10.

So with that, I bring you what I see, when I look down. I’m sure that my perception of these pictures and your perception of these pictures is different, but I think its interesting, nonetheless. This is how I see myself:



How do you see yourself? 

The Petty Things in Life

11 Sep


Petty; (pet-ty) adjective

1. Of little importance; trivial.
2. Behavior characterized by an undue concern for trivial matters, especially in a small-minded or spiteful way.


Each and every one of us have something in our life that seems very important to us, but is actually petty to everyone else. We usually term it an OCD or just something we are ‘really anal about’, but that doesn’t change the pettiness of it. One such example of this comes from my job. We clean dirty pet carriers at the end of each day, and set them gate-down to dry. When I set them to dry, I must organize them by size, and preferably by style, or in a pattern. It really bothers me when other people don’t organize them that way, but I admit that it is a petty thing, so I don’t say anything.

My biggest reason for not saying anything, is because I know others will think they are petty, and there is no real reason they should care. Personally, I have a really big problem when people expect me to care about petty things (that are important to them). I don’t care. Sure, you can get me to care (maybe) but you have to sell your point like you are losing money and you are losing money fast. You need to make me understand why its important to you, and then I might care.

What are some things that are important to you, but petty to others? Will you perform a task, even if you think its petty and find no meaning in it?

Reliving Embarrassing Moments

11 Sep


Some days, like today, I’ll be walking around, minding my own business. Then, out of no where a memory of something stupid I’ve done previously will pop into my head, and all the feeling of the moment will come rushing back.

Today, it was one that is quite frequent in my mind. I often get crushes on my TA’s, and even a class as terrible as Organic Chemistry lab isn’t an exception. It was more like a pseudocrush due to his position than a real crush. For the entire semester, I couldn’t help but think he looked like Michael Sheen from Dirty, Filthy Love. When the last day of lab came, I decided to tell him, and his ‘and why do I care’ reaction caused me to over-elaborate on who the character was (since he hadn’t seen the film). I proceeded to tell him about the sex scene that the character and his ex-wife have, and how he barks when he orgasms. I’m pretty sure I even showed him the clip from that scene.

Um. Awkward.

So, yeah. I relived that today. And various other times since then (and that was 3 and 1/2 years ago).

What embarrassing moments do you relive often enough to wish you didn’t?

Children as the Future of Religious Intolerance

8 Sep


Here at Colorado State University, we have a place reserved for anyone who needs a moment to utilize their right to free speech. Its called the plaza, and on any given day you can find a score of people talking about everything from the environment, to politics, to abortion.

Today’s feature presentation was by a religious group advocating on getting in to heaven. It was some very conservative religious group, as all of the female members were wearing long sleeved and long skirted dresses, with high collars and scarves covering their hair. A man, whom I presume to be from the same group, was making a speech about sin and how we need to accept God into our lives. Its been an hour since I’ve been there, and I can only imagine that its starting to get out of hand. People don’t much like to be told they are sinning and going to hell, and as college students we do like to use our voices against it.

What was different about this group of people, was that they were congregated as families. A family here, and a family there. As I was walking off of the plaza, a woman standing there with her husband and young (about age 7 I’d say) daughter were standing there handing out little cards. The mother was ignored by a girl in passing, and handed her daughter the stack of cards. The next girls both took cards from the little girl. Not everyone is as nice. Not everyone will accept her cards.

I find both good and bad in this situation. This child will face rejection, and she may or may not know why. This can be a good thing; she might rise up and be stronger because of it. In the same breath, she may not. My biggest problem with it is that she is not old enough to make a logical decision about her beliefs, and she shouldn’t be advocating for her parents’. She was also in an area that could get very heated, very fast and words can be very powerful to someone so young.

Do you think its wrong for her parents to have her hand out these pamphlets?