Archive | August, 2012

Lowering My Expectations

23 Aug

 

One of the first things anyone says when they hear that I don’t have a boyfriend and have been single for three and a half years is that I need to lower my expectations (because apparently they are so outrageously high that no one can meet them). I was thinking about this exact statement after my mom used it, and decided to put this to my readers. Here is a list of my expectations:

1. Must be at least mildly attractive

2. Must have a degree or is working toward one

3. Must have a good job or is working toward one and/or has a direction in life (see above)

4. Doesn’t smoke or do drugs

5. Drinks at most occasionally and does so responsibly

This is, of course, in addition to things that actually make a relationship work. I’d also like to have similar interests and the time spent together to be enjoyable, but I think everyone wants those things.

Are my expectations too high? If so, how should I lower them? What are your expectations for a significant other?

Sexism and Equal Rights for Men

21 Aug

 

When people fantasize about equal rights, the conversation is usually surrounded by talk of feminism and all the things women don’t get but should. I don’t disagree that women should be paid the same amount as men. The right to vote and to work and wear pants are all great things, also, but I’d like to talk about something else. I’d like to talk about masculism.

I’m new to the words that surround this topic, but from my limited understand I’ve gathered that masculism is the belief that equality of the sexes requires work to be done to stop prejudice and discrimination toward both sexes. The view that men should be held higher than women, or anti-feminist views, are termed as masculinism.

I think this concept is something that needs to be addressed, not in the sense of any anti-feminist beliefs, but that the only way equal rights for the sexes can be achieved is by the collaborative effort between masculism and feminism. Women aren’t the only one who historically have stereotypical rolls. Men are held as the breadwinners and the dominant sex and more often than not I hear stay-at-home men being called free-loaders.

How can women be so easily allowed to stay at home with or without children, while men must work?

Men also don’t have the luxury of being able to wear women’s clothing without being questioned. Men must have masculine interests. They shouldn’t show their feelings. They should pay for the date. They should buy you drinks. I don’t understand why this is all static, but women have a whole movement for them to have more sex, be able to have whatever jobs they want, but can still stay at home while their husbands work.

If there is one thing I’d like you to think about after you read this, its that if you can’t support the thought that men need equal rights, then the sexes aren’t equal in nature. Men are naturally prone to fall into certain roles, as are women. Our brains and bodies are not the same.

How do you feel about “masculism”? 

Movie Review: The Hunger Games

21 Aug

 

After much debate, I decided to go ahead and watch The Hunger Games (movie).

It did not deliver in a way that I had imagined it could. Katniss was a pretty good character, but Peeta was not what I had wanted at all. The movie also left out some parts that I thought were very important to the story. For example, Peeta wasn’t mad at Katniss for pretending at the very end of the movie. I can’t even imagine how the second move is going to be if they left out such a vital part. That is a huge part of their character development.

Did you watch the movie? Did you read the book? What are your thoughts? 

The Clothes That Make the Man

21 Aug

 

Today was the first day of classes at my university. I’m starting by 5th year victory lap.

As I was walking to my Biochemistry class, head held high and eyes forward, my eyes met those of a mildly unattractive college peer. After averting my gaze, I found myself looking back at, of all things, his shirt. It was a green tee with a picture of a stick man and woman in wedding garb (see above), with the words “Game Over” printed below.

Although I like a very well put together man, I can appreciate a good tee, but I realized that shirt was a sort-of would-be date deal breaker. Any man who tried to put on the charm while wearing that shirt would probably get shut down immediately.

Does clothing ever dictate whether or not you would date someone? Does it influence your attraction? What is the sexiest every-day-wear for your man (or woman)?

The Pressure to Marry

19 Aug

 

My parents live 4 hours away from me, and because of college and working I rarely am able to see them. Yesterday, however, they came and visited me and left this evening.

At one point in a conversation with my mother, I mentioned someone’s husband. Bad choice. Her immediate response was “You need to start looking for one.”

*facepalm*

Of course, all the talk of getting a boyfriend and looking for one ensued. I really think expectations are highly influenced by her marriage to my father at age 19, and my sister’s marriage to her husband at 23. I turn 23 in November, with not a boyfriend in sight. I can’t say that I really am too effected by it, because many, many vet students get their spouses in vet school.

What kind of pressure do your parents put on you to get married? Do you get pressure from anywhere else? How do you handle it?

You’re Sexy…But Your Car is Hideous

16 Aug

 

If there is one thing I know, its that men and women alike are attracted to nice cars. They may not seek out owning one equally, but if you see a nice car, you can’t help but take notice.

A car can also say a lot about who a person is. A friend of mine once sat in my car, which was a complete disaster at the time, and said that you can tell I like animals and that I’m busy and on the go (there were others, but I forgot what exactly she said). What she said was true, and even the type of car I have says something about who I am. I like to go fast, enjoy driving, like the basics, and like the environment, too.

Cars can also mean a lot when you are dating. If first impressions mean a lot, then the car you pull up in to pick up that girl you are trying to get to fall in love with you can be imperative. But how important is it, really? Sure, if a guy pulls up in a fancy, new car to pick me up, then not only can I assume that he is doing well for himself, but my mind is allowed to run wild with all the fun places that car can take us. I can’t say that I have a problem if the opposite is true about his car, though. Growing up, I didn’t have air conditioning in the house, or in the car. The tape player didn’t work, and neither did the radio. It still isn’t a big deal, because it reminds me of the simple things in life, like enjoying a conversation with the wind blowing through my hair.

How important is the sexiness the car of a date/significant other? If your date rolls up in a piece of junk to pick you up, what is your initial impression? Would you be less likely to date this person long-term? How big of a turn off is it?

What if the person who owns the piece of junk car is only driving it because of reasons beyond his control? Does it change your mind?

What is your general opinion of people who drive crappy cars (without taking relationship to the person into consideration)?

Blurring the Lines of Sexuality

15 Aug

Its already hard enough to find a mate as it is. At least for me, anyway. I can’t imagine its very easy for a gay person in a small town either. The pickings are low.

As we come to understand sexuality in humans more, and wish to ostracize various sexualities less, the lines continue to blur. That’s how human sexuality works, so the better we understand that, the better it is for everyone, but at some point, finding a mate would become nearly impossible.

The reason I bring this up is because of my relationship with Glee. Yes, Glee. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. And if you are currently judging me because I love Glee, well…I REGRET NOTHING!!!!

On Glee, the cast did a Born This Way cover in which they all wore shirts that said something about who they are. Kurt, a very obviously gay boy, wore a shirt that said “Likes Boys”. I’m absolutely in love with it, but it doesn’t have the same effect if I wore a shirt that said that. This led me to want to wear a shirt that says “Likes Girls”, but I can’t…because I don’t like girls. Apparently, I think a little bit like the actress who plays Quinn, because in a later live performance (or in public, or something) she donned the same shirt that says “Likes Girls”. The fandom blew up with talk about her being a lesbian, and about how no one had any idea.

Well, she doesn’t like girls. She likes boys. Cue mass confusion.

Here is the problem. If I wear a shirt that says “Likes Girls”, it would lead people to believe I’m a lesbian. With it being so difficult already to find a significant other, it doesn’t seem fair to me to broadcast to all the women looking for a potential girlfriend that I like girls, when I actually don’t. Not to mention it would make my own search more difficult, because then I would be off-limits to men. But wearing a “Likes Boys” shirt is on the verge of being like one of those screen tees that says thing like “hot” and “bad girl” (translation: tacky).

I still really want a version of the Lebanese shirt that Santana wears, as its an inside joke I’d likely have to explain.

Am I just thinking way too much into my clothing options? Is it fair to falsely advertise like this? Would you wear the shirt?