Archive | May, 2012

When Should I Accept My Exes Friend Request?

20 May

Things didn’t exactly end the best with my last ex. It was more awkward than anything…you know how text breakups are. You never get to actually talk about what happened or vent or anything. You are even lucky surprised if you see him/her after that. Well…thats exactly what happened, and ever since its been really weird if I see him (even though I usually don’t – being hundreds of miles away has that effect).

And then he tried to add me as a friend on Facebook.

Normally, I make my decision in less than 30 seconds; I accept or deny, and thats the end of it. This case is a little special, though…let me start at the beginning.

First, while we were still dating, he made me delete his Facebook account because he couldn’t deal with me having any male friends (other than him). Then, he got upset when I did delete it. Fast forward a few months. Cue breaking up.

Next thing he tried to do after we broke up was add my best friend (who hehated when we were dating). She promptly denied and helped set the stage for me to deny him on Facebook as well. About this time, he started trying to spread rumors about me and purposely piss me off. Didn’t work…so lets move on.

Fast forward x amount of time, and he tries to add me on Facebook again. It left me flabbergasted. I no longer deny unwanted friend requests; I ignore unwanted friend requests. His request has been rotting in my notifications for a very, very long time. I just happened to look in there today to see if I’d changed my mind about anyone, and it made me think. Should I accept it? I haven’t talked to him for all of 1 sentence in the last 3 years.

What would you do? Do you have rules for being friends with exes on Facebook? 

Pregnancy, Older or Younger?

20 May

First, let me tell you that I am never having children, so all of this information is irrelevant to me.

Now that thats out of the way…

People are getting pregnant at older ages. Historically, you could be married and pregnant by the ripe old age of 14 (not that the pregnant thing has really changed), but now it looks like the age for first time mothers is about 25. That’s 4 years older than 40 years ago. Its not too big of an issue if you have a child at age 25 – you are in the prime reproductive years – but because this is an average, it means the entire scale of women’s first pregnancies has shifted to higher ages. An example of this is that between the ages of 15 and 44, births have declined (births total have declined, so this is expected), but for women over 45, births have increased.

My reasoning behind this is that its taking people on average longer to finish school and settle down to a place which is conducive to having children. I also think that women don’t have to make as many attempts to have children who survive to adulthood, as they did centuries ago, so women don’t have to have children as early to maximize the number of years they can reproduce. There is also the increase in life expectancy; you have the option to have children later.

All of this brings me to my main point: having children at an older age can pose some serious problems, but it also has its benefits.

Benefits

  • You have more resources. Children are expensive, so its important to have plenty of money to pay for all of their needs like healthcare, food, clothing, and enrichment. Having a stable living situation is also important.
  • You’re more mature. Mentality is a big deal with anything – it can make or break you. As you get older, you’ve learned how to deal with stress better. You’re also more likely to be comfortable staying at home every night with your small child (instead of having that inner desire to party it up).
  • Personal lives are stable. As you get older, you are more likely to have a single, steady partner to help raise your child with. You are also more likely to understand that your child takes precedence over your love life (if you happen to not have a single steady partner).

Detriments

  • Less energy. As you grow older, you naturally have less energy than you do when you are younger – say your early 20’s. Babies and toddlers require a lot of keeping up with, and you might find yourself falling short.  You might also find yourself out of touch with whatever age your child might be as he/she grows older.
  • Higher health risks for you. Risk of things like gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, miscarriage, and multiple babies all go up and the risk can even be twice as high as someone in their 20’s.
  • Higher health risks for your baby. With increase prevalence of mom’s health risks, cause an increase risk in problems for baby. For example, if mom gets diabetes while she is pregnant, baby is a lot more likely to get it too, or have a high birth weight. Chromosomal disorders, like Down’s Syndrome (and others), dramatically increase with age also. There may be other long-term consequences as well. If you are an older mother and are having trouble with fertility, its likely that your child with have problems with fertility also.

What age do you want to/did you get pregnant (for the first time) at? Which has more weight, the pros or the cons? 

18 May

Not to mention most sweaters made me look like an octogenarian…..*pause and rifle through cell phone*…..like an old person!!

–Olan Rogers, Dorky Sweaters

Why Does Everyone Have Tattoos?

18 May

I’m a tattoo lover. Of quality tattoos, that is.  It really depends on the person, what the tattoo is of, and where its at. For example, this tattoo I like (not super hairy, colorful, clean edges, located on the shoulder):

And I like this one too (very simple, and I assume meaningful, inside of the bicep – and I’m just in love with Olan Rogers):

I can even get on board with this (completely covering forearms – I’m in love with Steve Gonsalves, too):

But then you have tattoos like this, that I just think are unattractive (I’ve only actually seen one leg tattoo I liked):

Or this one, and I love animals (I rather dislike single object, smaller, bicep tattoos):

And then there is the good old unattractive text tattoo (which is only good in discrete places, in something other than gothic lettering):

I noticed a coworkers tattoo today for the first time. Then I thought about all the other people I know – another coworker has a really awesome tattoo on his upper arm – and it seems as though I’m one of very few people who actually doesn’t have a tattoo. I’ve already said I like them, and I wouldn’t mind getting one, but I’ve yet to find anything in my life that has struck me to be something I want permanently on my body. I guess I just like to change what I look like every day. I loved my lip ring, but there were definitely days when I just wanted to take it out. Maybe I’m just destined to be the girl who never got a tattoo, and when I think about that…it kind of makes me feel left out.

Do you have any tattoos, and how many? What do you think are the most attractive and least attractive places to get a tattoo? What is your general opinion of tattoos (like them, hate them, think they are unattractive on the opposite sex, etc)? Show me pictures? 

Limiting Yourself

17 May

 

I’m somewhat new to the whole trying new things scene. I say somewhat, because if something needs to be done in an unfamiliar situation, I will take charge and go first. Growing up, though, I didn’t try new foods, and I was never much for change. Now, as I grow older, I see the people around me refusing to challenge themselves.

They just accept things. They limit themselves. And I don’t understand.

Maybe its because I like to be fearless. Maybe its because I don’t like to be weak. Maybe its because I don’t like to give up. Maybe its because I like to be better than everyone else. 

Regardless of what brings me to my opinion, I see people limiting themselves and I don’t like it, especially when it limits what I can do. When I go to an amusement park and want to enjoy rides with a friend, its upsetting when they refuse because they are scared. Its equally upsetting when I want to enjoy a movie with a friend, but all of my friends refuse because scary movies scare them. I admit that I often enjoy doing things solo, but I find that friends are important, and doing some events socially is also a very important part of my life. These people can never enjoy certain things because of their limits.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure I have limits too, but I don’t seem to think about them very readily.

What do you limit yourself with? How do you handle others phobias, and do you ever find that they limit you also? What new things would you like to try this summer?

Do You Delete Negative, Over-The-Top Comments?

16 May

Yesterday, I was sitting here looking through my Xanga feed, and I stumbled upon a comment by one of my friends. What I gathered from both, was that friend wrote a blog that [might have] directly attacked the person who wrote the blog that the friend then commented on. The blog was a direct attack back. The comment then struck a chord with me. It said something along the lines of “I rarely delete posts because once its up there, you can’t reverse what its done once you take it down” and then friend continued to apologize for what he did or said.

The reason this struck a chord was because as a general rule of thumb I do not delete blogs or comments. The reason I don’t delete blogs is because you have a choice as to whether you read it or not, and I always mean what I say. I may be angry, but in that moment of anger I mean it. If I’m sad, I mean what I say. And it doesn’t make sense to me to take down what I feel and bottle it up, just because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Like I said it was your choice. I don’t delete comments, either (unless its obviously spam). I feel as though negative comments often are meant to make the writer look bad, but I think it says more about a reader and who they are if they feel its necessary to leave an over-the-top comment.

I’m pretty sure I even left up a blog that my friend made to slander my name when she hacked my account. I later explained the blog and detailed what she did, but I left it as proof.

Do you delete negative comments? Have you ever deleted a blog because of another person? Why or why not?

How to Deal With a Difficult Coworker

15 May

We all deal with difficult people every day. Some are rude and impolite, some like confrontation, and others just don’t seem to get it. This isn’t that big of a deal if you don’t have to be around these people, but a whole new problem is presented when its a coworker. You can’t just get a new coworker, or never see them again (like a customer, or a stranger in the street). You have to deal with them every single day. I’ve had enough of these coworkers, that I think a few tips on how to deal with them are in order:

  • Change your scenery. When you work around the same coworker long enough and often enough, things that they may do can start to get old and irritate you more. By simply trying to take a break when you start to feel the stress, or working with a different coworker or by yourself for awhile can be enough to diffuse the tension and let you both continue your jobs.
  • Don’t fuel the fire. I’m especially prone to retaliating. My thought process is often along the lines of You think you can use me? Well, I can do the same thing and get you to do what you are trying to avoid! This isn’t usually a good thing. Doing things like this are childish, and don’t solve anything. This can lead to bigger confrontations, and more tension between you.
  • Lend a helping hand. Sometimes, a coworkers bad attitude is caused by something outside of work. Thats usually the case with everyone, so whether its stress at home, or even feelings of worthlessness at the job, by asking if anything is wrong or helping them out to do their jobbetter can be extremely useful to help bring that attitude back to the positives.
  • Get a third party involved. I am not one to look for outside help in most situations. I like to handle things myself, and usually just ignore the debbie-downer coworker, but sometimes you’ve done all you can, and the situation still isn’t any better. Bringing in a supervisor or manager can be extremely helpful. A happy workplace is a productive workplace, and productivity is their main goal. It also helps if you acknowledge that you have no ill intentions toward said coworker, and that you’ve tried to deal with it yourself, but are out of options.
  • Move on. If you are around a coworker with a bad attitude long enough, your productivity and attitude are going to be affected too. If you absolutely cannot deal with them anymore, and have exhausted all your other options, you might just need to get a new job. No one should be unhappy at their jobs, so look for somewhere better.

How do you deal with difficult coworkers? Need to vent about someone?

Should People Be Allowed to Carry Mace?

14 May

I kind of have a problem with mace and pepper spray. I’m sure its related to other things that I have problems with, but I think its silly that people carry mace. I know that its supposed to be a deterrent and a defense strategy, but what happens if you mistake someone as a threat when they aren’t?

Pepper spray (which also is manufactured under the brand Mace, and generically called such, but mace is also a type of tear gas) causes a burning sensation, temporary blindness, trouble breathing, and disorientation from such. It makes sense that it is used as defense, because trying to see and breathe are more important to the brain than is killing someone.  This is a pretty high price to pay if you are an innocent, unknowing victim of someone who is too paranoid for their own good, though.

Yes, I understand that anything can be a weapon in the hands of someone who is too paranoid, but I think that if you carry pepper spray you are already too paranoid to be considered in a mind state to use it correctly and safely.

Do you think people should be allowed to carry pepper spray? Do you carry it, or any other “self-defense” device?

Telling Someone You Liked Them – 5 Years Ago

11 May

 

For the record, I have only had one boyfriend. I’ve had some other encounters, but nothing that’s actually worth mentioning. I’m 22, and I’e been living a life wondering where all of those awesome guys are, and what may be potentially undateable about yours truly.

What makes this worse better more complicated, is the appearance of people I’ve known at various times in my life who then decided to tell me they liked me x amount of years ago. Most recently, a guy I went to elementary, middle, and high school with (small town) decided to tell me he has had a crush on me since middle school. Apparently, assuming he isn’t lying, he still likes me. Of course, I haven’t seen him in 4 years and we’ve not talking in that amount of time. The only contact we’ve had is being Facebook friends. Oh yeah, and he is in the military, so he isn’t in a geographically desirable position.

You remember that 1 boyfriend I had? Well, when we were dating about 5 or 6 guys I was friends with decided to tell me they had liked me before we started dating. One of my best friends even told me he was going to ask meto be his girlfriend the same day my then boyfriend did, and had meant to weeks before, but was too intimidated. And, what complicates the matter further, is that I had liked at least half of the guys at the same time they liked me.

I’ll admit I’ve done this a couple times. I’m not even sure why I did it or what I gained from the experience.

What is the point of telling someone you liked them ages ago? Have you done this or had it done to you? Should I give the newest guy to come out of the wood works a chance?

President Obama, MY President

9 May

Watch the video above, and you will hear President Barack Obama stating that he believes gay marriage should be legal. He is the first president to openly endorse gay marriage. I voted for this man 4 years ago, and I’ve never questioned whether it was the right or wrong choice, but I’ve never felt like it was either. After hearing him say this, I realize I haven’t felt more right about my choice. He is my president, and he is speaking for a huge number of people when he says he supports this.

How do you feel about President Obama’s statement?