The Language of [Almost] Love

12 Apr

Flirting. Something for the ages, isn’t it?

I’m can’t say I’m good at flirting, and I can’t say I’m good at telling when people are flirting with me. Other people? Oh, sure! I just can’t recognize it when its happening to me, which you can imagine isn’t very conducive to my dating situation.  So, I ask your opinion on something that happened to me while I was out shopping one day. I was telling this exact same story to a coworker, and she thought it was odd, and told me I should go back and talk to him if he still worked at the store. I dismissed it, and thats where you come in!

I was out shopping for chinchilla enrichment one day at PetsMart, specifically looking for a ball that would dispense food when they moved it around.  Things like that don’t really exist for chinchillas, so I have to adapt bird, cat, ferret, and dog enrichment for them.  Cue cute salesman. He asked me if I was finding everything okay, and because I wasn’t, I asked him if he carried treat dispensing balls. I, further, explained that it was for my chinchilla, so I wanted something small…maybe a cat toy?

Apparently, me enriching my chinchillas with cat toys was fascinating to him, and we began talking about it. He jokingly pointed out that they had duck-shaped treat dispensers, and that I could teach my chinchillas to kill ducks. We talked and joked about it, and I did my best at flirting (he was cute, remember?) with him. That was when it happened.

He told me that I had an eyelash on my cheek.

Normally, this wouldn’t have been a big deal; however, as I made an attempt to remove the eyelash with the swipe of my hand, I realized how disgustingly hot and sticky I was. I remembered I had just gotten off work at the animal shelter and hadn’t showered yet. Believe you me, working at an animal shelter is hard work. All I do is spend 8 hours of my life scrubbing floors and kennels, so of course I was disgusting.

I brushed it off a couple more times, and asked if it was gone, all the while still trying to be nonchalant about how disgusting I must have looked. I proceeded to ask him if I got it. The answer? No. So I tried to get it again, making a comment about how stubborn it was being. In my head, I wanted to just have the cute salesman brush it off my cheek for me. It would be perfect…if only I wasn’t so gross. I refrained from asking him, because I could only imagine how he would feel touching my sticky face. Eventually, I removed the eyelash, and thanked him for his assistance.

Everything was playing out so well, but at that point I was almost mortified. Why did I have to go to PetsMart looking like I did?

I relayed this story to my coworker, like I said, way after the fact. We had been talking about our jobs and how its so hard to look nice, because we change into scrubs as soon as we get there. Her only comment: “Thats weird that he commented on an eyelash. Most people wouldn’t have. Does he still work there?”

What? Did she honestly think he was flirting with me? But I looked HIDEOUS!

And now I don’t know what to think. If he was flirting, maybe I should go back while I actually look nice and see if I can create some magic. But…if he wasn’t…well, then I should probably just learn to not go to places before showering after work. Who knows..I could meet my future husband in there!

Was he flirting? Would/do you comment on an eyelash if someone had one on their face, or would you just assume it unimportant? Are you good at flirting? 

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